Player Comments on Easy, Does It
This game had a good concept and would've been a much nicer story if it had more detail.
Maybe you could've made a prologue on why they were on a ship. Maybe they had to do some sort of mission, like collect or retrieve some sort of possession. Things like that would've made the story better.
Also, the dialogue was weird. Usually, people put quotation marks to resemble somebody speaking, but your dialogue is in a chat format. Changing the dialogue to quotation marks would've been nicer and less confusing.
on 10/28/2020 9:09:16 AM with a score of 0
I won it all and I left this writing a poor and pained person.
on 9/9/2020 1:33:19 PM with a score of 0
on 9/9/2020 9:01:02 AM with a score of 0
This will be unpublished for low ratings soon just fyi. I'd say 'good effort' or something, but that'd be two lies at once.
If you had looked at even just one other story on the site, you might've noticed some differences from yours and opted not to make this public in its current state.
Also I'm told this should be in the fanfic category to begin with, but you know what, moving it would be more work than was put into writing it.
on 9/9/2020 4:07:54 AM with a score of 0
Not good, sorry. The style of writing is interesting, but poorly executed. There are plenty of spelling and grammatical mistakes, and you really don’t know what you’re getting when you click on a link. It’s basically “Lucky Dip” for 75% of choices, not that this story is long enough to contain any. 50% of the time, it’s over in 2 clicks, either by finding a “Reset Game” or “End Game” link.
Also, many pages were lazily written. An example: “The Future”.
You won it all you leave here now a rich rich person
This could easily be expanded by 200 words or so, and pages like this are the definition of bad, even for an 8 year old. No full stop, no real plot... the list goes on.
Not 1/8 because I have seen much worse, but please unpublish this. 2/8
on 9/9/2020 1:29:46 AM with a score of 0