Player Comments on Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss

Erase, Expunge, Efface

(I actually rated it a 5/8, and also this is a literal essay so not the best place to share)

4/8? You had details that no one could care about in your story. You go into mind-blowing detail about the information that probably could go into describing the events in an immersive instead of factual way. Honestly, this needs a "based on a true story" tag because of the sources at the end. Maybe I'm just wrong on myself...

Still, good story, but sadly held back by the info-dumps... Better than my stories though.

I suppose this is a presentation, it seems fairly informative though I'll point out a few things. Firstly, you can't copyright something without publishing it and you certainly can't copyright public domain facts. Secondly, your biography is extensive but your footnotes are non-existent so I think this would be better published as an essay in a word document. Thirdly, though you have tried to present your work in an original way it's not really a choose-your-own-story as it's more like an essay that has been divided up into different sections or paragraphs and cut and pasted onto pages. These things always get unpublished so to save the mods time you might as well make it preview-only and then you can still share it with your teacher and / or classmates. On the whole though I think, as an essay, this is very well researched and written, well-structured and hopefully you get a good mark for it :)