Player Comments on Killer Bicycle Ride

Was this based on that youtube video where a bear is chasing a cyclist through a wood? Altogether I think this story actually made a pretty good scene with a good amount of choices. What you need now is about 10 or so more scenes like this and then you'll have a story :) As it is this is more like the "Exit Pursued by a Bear" scene from The Winter's Tale rather than the whole play :)

I love how Dennis drops the gun on the ground, but the very next page he is able to toss it to you while you are both up in the heights of a tree.

Actually, Dennis is a jerk. If he's such a fancy wizard, why didn't he just firebomb the bear with magic in the first place?

"You grabbed the gun. Your ambition failed you and the bear attacked you. At least you died next to your faithful bicycle, Old Rusty."
Yes, I may have been mauled by a bear, but I was still with my bicycle. #InLoveWithBicycle

I don't know why people insisting on publishing clearly incomplete storygames. Unfinished storygame -> keep editing, finished storygame -> publish. It's not that hard of a concept, even if you're not familiar with this website. How often do you buy a published book which hasn't even been completed from beginning to end, let alone not having been edited?

Very very short, littered with punctuation errors, the characters are all idiots, there was a dead end link and another that looped around to the wrong page...and yet I could still see the framework for a decent story here, and enough detail in the writing that at least some effort must've been put in.

Not enough of a story here to give it any kind of a rating or want it to stick around, but if the author puts in more than ten minutes next time I think they have potential.

Also, it's weird to carry around a .44 Magnum on a bicycle ride with friends? I mean, I'm in Texas and even I think that's weird.