Player Comments on Shades of Fear

This is a pretty good start to your horror story, and there are some elements I liked here. I liked the setting of the story, although I'm not sure they call each other 'san' and 'chan' all the time. I'll probably find out when I get to Japan in several months. You're leaving out a few descriptive details and I'd like this story to be a bit more immersive since not everyone here's from Japan.

I didn't like the monster the way the author intended us to. They're supposed to be intimidating and horrifying but it leans closer to annoying since they repeat 'Do you think I'm pretty?' If possible, you could make the girl say anything more than that one line or make them a silent antagonist.

Although this story isn't complete, it has a good structural plot with some exposition and ends right at the rising action.

Overall, this story has a lot of potential and is actually something I would read in my free time. 5/8