Player Comments on The Carnival, Ginny, and I

Well I enjoyed that game, I thought it was a really sweet little young love, coming of age story... But what the hell was up with the ending? So these guys haven't seen each other for 5 years, they're not even dating, even the trip to the carnival doesn't seem like it's supposed to be a date, and he asks her to marry him? That's a creepy guy right there. How about, "I really like you, can I take you out for dinner sometime?" That's a nice place to start right? I mean after meeting an old friend for the first time in five years, most guys don't just use marriage proposals as a way to break the ice.
Also, how the hell did he get the Dad's permission? I imagine that being a weird conversation. "Hi kid, haven't seen you in awhile. What do you want?" "I want to marry your daughter!" "Really? I didn't know you guys were dating." "Well, we're not exactly, I actually haven't seen her for years, but she was my first childhood crush and I just assume she's stayed single this whole time in the hopes that I might come back and propose... Hopefully she grew up to be hot, or else I'll have to lose her in the hall of mirrors and run for my life." "... Well I'm sold! Give me a hug son-in-law!"

Ok, so this story feels incredibly forced, both emotionally and in a linear sense.

The author essentially shoves the reader down the path (s)he wants them to follow. There really isn't much choice involved. And many of the choices that lead to 'End Game' don't make sense. Why would not admitting unmitigated terror of riding the roller coaster lead the player character to a life as a gas station worker? Especially, when the girl already knows the player character hates roller coasters and is terrified of them? Not to mention, there is a one click 'End Game' link. Why even make that a choice then?

As far as the emotions go, I can see and respect what the author is going for, but the execution misses the mark. They just don't really establish a solid flow or meld well into the story. Again, they feel rather heavy handed. The romance and passion of a story should feel natural. The story seems to lack substance, and the characters don't really add much to help this.

There were a few spelling/grammar errors: but nothing particularly glaring.

Now, I know it seems like I'm ripping this story fairly hard, but despite the flaws, I wanted to like it. I really wanted to. The author has the bones of a good story, but the writing needs to be expanded and present the emotional components in a smoother fashion.

good

thank you :)

love the epilogue

Aw, Ginny is an adorable little bean of energy and pure joy.

This storygame is perfect for Valentines' Day and teaching people about how your words and actions toward that particular person can change over time. I read the original ending, and I'm glad you made a new one. Ethan is the nervous boy who wants to be cautious while Ginny is an adventurer and loves taking risks. Two perspectives, one story. Sure, there were some small grammar mistakes, but it's nothing that can't be fixed.

Keep up the good work.

Ohmygod. I loved it! I about cried.

Great job ??

really beautiful story
nice job

Would have liked if it was a bit longer, it was really pulling me in

Fun. Although i agree with peeps that the original ending felt kinda rushed.

I found this game mostly cute, fluffy, and light-hearted romance, which was enjoyable as long as I didn't think too hard. Granted, by issues with most Love & Dating games still apply - there are parts were the romance felt a bit formulaic, and other parts were the relationship development felt a bit rushed, but all in all, the quality of the writing was good and the setting is enough fun to carry the story despite the use of some childhood best friend clichés.

Great!

There are three ways for the gas station ending, three ways for the guard ending, and every other way leads to the actual ending(s). The statement which claimed that all of the endings but one cause the gas station ending is inaccurate.
Nevertheless, the claims that the original ending was horrible/insane are entirely true.

Goddamn, I am smooth. I talk to a guy and say "Hey, can I marry your daughter I haven' seen in years?" Then I get the girl. Either Ethan's super sexy, or Ginny's ugly as hell for her everyone to be happy that I propose when I see her for the first time.
Seriously though, I wasn't a fan, to be honest. I didn't like the actual romance bits because they felt manufactured, and also, is it really likely that because I don't put my hands up on a roller-coaster I never marry her and end up working in a Gas Station. Also, I was called Eddy once or twice.
Still, there was some effort put into the game and the grammer wasn't bad, though because almost every choice except one led to the gas station job and loneliness, it didn't have much than the basic, rushed story.

I did nit like it, but then I am not a romantic person. I also do jot understand why every scene had to be at a carnival.