Endeavour, The Reader
I tend to be a slow writer.
"All the pain what you bear inside, comes away with the night. All the pain eats you up alive. But you know you have to carry on the fight" - Pilgrim On The Road (Paddy & The Rats)
"All that noise, and all that sound. All those places I have found. And birds go flying at the speed of sound. To show you how it all began" - Speed Of Sound (Coldplay)
Recent PostsThoughts & Critique on 5/10/2017 8:31:07 AM
Ah, yeah I understand, I'm just a bit too tired to be focused on the story atm.
Thoughts & Critique on 5/10/2017 8:01:56 AM
It does go buy a bit fast and unclarified, As to the tense switch, I can't seem to spot that.
Thoughts & Critique on 5/9/2017 8:55:03 PM
Any thoughts so far?:
Benjamin woke up as the van turned into a gas station, and as Johnny B. Goode started blaring on the radio. Startled, he realized that he had fallen asleep on Theresa’s shoulder. As he sat up, he looked over and blushed as she smiled at him. He looked away just as his sister opened her door.
“Alright people, get what you need,” Erin shouted. She turned towards Benjamin, “Benji, you might want to get out and stretch your legs. What do you want to drink?” Benjamin thought for a moment, “Could you see if they have any Vanilla Coke?” Erin nodded and bounded off towards the building.
Theresa tapped Benjamin’s shoulder, “Hey, take your sister’s advice. We’ve got a few more hours before we reach the campsite.” Benjamin shrugged and stepped out of the van. He ran to an area of grass a few feet away from where they had parked. Theresa followed him laughing.
They sat down, “You sure like to run, don’t you,” Theresa said in between breaths.
Benjamin just smiled.
"Hey, uh Theresa," Benjamin asked
Benjamin stutters, "Do-do you think it'd be okay with your mother, if I take Helena out for her birthday?"
Helena crosses her arms and looks at Benjamin thoughtfully, "That'd be a question for our mother, now wouldn't it Benjamin?"
Benjamin blushes and looks away. "It is isn't it?"
Erin walks up and hands Benjamin the Vanilla Coke.
"Thank you, Erin!" Benjamin nods his head towards her.
Helena's quickly turns her head, looking at you. "Speaking of Birthdays, Mom got you something that We thought you might like!" She runs to the van.
Benjamin looks at Erin inquisitively, and Erin shrugs. Eventually, Theresa runs back with a transparent package in her hand.
"Helena tells us you're an Enterprise fan." In her hand, is a dark blue star trek uniform with a yellow stripe around the shoulder area.
Benjamin laughs and takes the package. "Thanks!"
After a few minutes of chatting they go back to the van.
5942 Kate's Way on 4/8/2017 12:51:13 AM
I figured I could detail it when I've got a bit more to add to the story. I didn't want to spend so much time on detail that I'd lose what I had in mind.
5942 Kate's Way on 4/7/2017 6:38:01 PM
I'd like to hear if you have any critiques, ideas, etc. of this page of the story:
It's the middle of the night, and you're sitting in the dining room of this abandoned house. Everyone else is out on the porch chatting away to their hearts content. You've got a battery powered lantern beside you, and you're writing down a few ideas in your notebook.
A few moments into your writing, you hear the others coming inside. From the sound of the footsteps, it sounds like all but one of those people are NOT headed in your direction. You pause, look up and, put on the best welcoming smile that you can.
Standing in the doorway is Rose, who isn't someone you know. "Why are you so intent on not being social?"
You snort at the thought of being social with this group. "I'm not in the best of terms with these people. Besides, I was pressured into doing this. At least, it'll keep Jack from pestering my sister over the weekend."
Jack is one of the people who came up with the idea of staying here over the weekend. He's one of those people who can't handle being told "no" very well. Unfortunately, he seems to like knocking you onto the ground.
"That's right! You're Katherine's brother aren't you? Benjamin? Yeah, I'm familiar with his behavior." She laughs, "you don't know me at all do you?"
You shrug. "I know you're Rose, and I now know you're a friend of Katherine's. But besides that, I don't know you. My sister tends to keep her life outside of our house to herself."
Rose shakes her head. "That sounds like her alright. It's rather late, you should really get some sleep soon." She turns around and heads upstairs.
You close your notebook, set down the pencil, and stand up. You walk over to your backpack and pull out your sleeping bag, and you set it by the wall.
hello on 3/24/2017 5:38:27 PM
To see how much the 'net has changed since 1996 on 1/25/2017 2:13:36 PM
I'm gonna have to go with the Travels With Samantha website. I do like a perspective.
Final Fantasy on 1/20/2017 11:33:02 AM
My brothers got so annoyed whenever I was Meta Knight, Pikachu, or Sonic on Brawl.
Critiquing The Reverential Sacrifice on 1/20/2017 11:15:01 AM
It's not complete, but here's part of a chapter from a story I started a couple years ago (not on CYS, on paper). I wanted to get your opinions on what I have for it so far. In the story, A group of friends goes on a camping trip, and the Main Characters, a brother & sister, have a ghostly encounter.
Final Fantasy on 1/20/2017 9:12:08 AM
I've only ever played Fire Emblem characters on SSB Melee & Brawl.