ProminentPenguin, The Reader
Hello, My name is Prominent Penguin.
I'm your average
19 20 year old college student,
who actually kinda blows at the writing aspect.
So in desperation, I'm hoping that I can somehow
compensate by rating other stories....
Todo List (in order of relative difficulty):
-Get shit-talked by Steve
-Get shit-talked by Mizal
-Get shit-talked by Endmaster
-Get better at shit-talking
-Submit a story that sucks
-Learn the advanced editor
-Submit a story that is actually half-decent
Recent PostsGay Weapons on 11/9/2018 11:35:12 PM
Haaaaaaaaaay! on 11/9/2018 5:49:38 PM
Gay Weapons on 11/9/2018 5:44:27 PM
Gay Weapons on 11/9/2018 5:31:34 PM
Explain Maturity Ratings on 10/29/2018 12:56:25 AM
Real World Problems on 10/6/2018 6:47:23 PM
Grifter Mod Seth on 9/29/2018 1:58:37 AM
General World Events Thread on 9/28/2018 7:14:20 PM
Little bit of old news but whatever. Humanity loses more information of its past due to information entropy despite active preservation,
The museum's entire Egypt section pretty much burned down. This includes the 5 mummified corpses they had stored there. Many other artefacts were burned away. It is the oldest museum in the country and now its gone along with around 90% of the artefacts it was stored in. They also had no digital backups of the artefacts and the information pertaining to it (don't really know why they didn't tbh, seems like in this day and age having backups is a requirement to get anything done).
Egypt is slightly pissed at this loss of its own cultural heritage and the Egypt Consulate in Brazil has been sent to see exactly what the damage to these artefacts are. Anyway, chances are that now if you want to know more about the Egyptian artefacts collected by Brazilian Emperor Pedro I, your gonna have to ask the Egyptologists who saw and studied them before the museum burned down. Lets hope this is last of humanities past that has to be lost to time immemorial :)
User of a Username: Inspiration on 9/26/2018 2:09:17 PM
Write Thirty Words Thirty Times on 8/10/2018 9:44:33 AM
Jimmy the dog jumped up again, trying to see out the window. Sure, it's the moon, but the lunar base had windows, and he wanted to see what was happening. Nathan, his owner, reached down and ruffled his ears. "Ready to go?" he asked with a chuckle. His mom thought he was crazy for bringing the big English Setter to Seraphim 5, but the truth was that the boys were inseparable ever since Jimmy saved his owner during the harrowing camping incident at Shadow Mountain. It was only reasonable that the two would become the best of friends because of that.
Jimmy barked, happy that his owner wanted to go out with him. He began to scratch at the door, then barked when he heard someone knocking on the other side. "Calm down," Nathan said, opening the door. He tried to shut it again when he saw their visitor was his ex, Victoria, but she quickly blocked the door with her foot.
“Come now, is that any way to treat a lady?” she asked, as she pushed her way into the door.
Nathan gulped nervously. He hated that bitch, but another part of him (literally) told him he didn't. Jimmy the dog barked excitedly at this intruder, his tail wagging.
Before either could react, Victoria jammed a needle in Nathan's neck. When he awoke, he was on a ship arriving at Mars, minus his wallet. He groaned. Jimmy barked happily. Nathan tried to clear his head and realized that he could not feel his legs. He looked down to see that they had been hacked off just below the knees.
“Ugh,” Nathan groaned, and dropped his head back down against the floor. That bitch is evil. My wallet? Sure. My legs though? Come on. Those fucking prosthetics cost a fortune. Using what little strength his noodle arms had, Nathan dragged himself into a little red wagon nearby. Hitching Jimmy's leash to the handle, Nathan was mobile again.
Nathan scanned the room for anything that could get back to Seraphim 5. Jimmy saw a mouse scamper by and rushed towards it, taking Nathan with him. The mouse was biomechanical, augmented to derive nutrients from cleaning filth. The animal cruelty folks got up in arms about it, but low-budget freighters always had these. It would likely lead them to a garbage chute.
"Jimmy, stop!" he yelled, frantic.
"Whoa!" a crewmember exclaimed, managing to halt the wagon. "That dog can really run! You should enter him in the race."
"Race?" Nathan asked, confused. "What race?"
"The 142nd Semi-Annual Dog Race," the crewmember explained. "It's 3 kilometers long." The crewmember then added, "Which is about 2 miles long."
Nathan glanced at his stumps.
"That won't stop you from racing. Assuming Turbowagon doesn't bump you off the track."
The crewmember tears up, looking down at his feet, which have numerous ingrown toenails. "Don't miss this opportunity to win prize money you can use to buy yourself wonderful new feet!"
"We're leaving right now!" Nathan decided.
When Nathan and Jimmy turned to leave, the crewmember shouted, "Hey! If you do end up trying out for that race, you should know the renowned dog racing champion, Victoria, will be there!"