12/30/2015

11/12/2018 3:37 PM

52

0

0 wins / 0 losses

Architect

Generic Fantasy Story

unpublished

Yea, any *COUGH* sane man, would've just taken the money and ran.

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I'm aware of why they added it. But it doesn't even really fit in with the whole "historic weapons" theme, they had going on (I mean, who the hell wants to have a frying pan when your lesbian friends get swords and your queer friends get Spears). Seems like the pansexuals get the short end of the stick. Could've done better 0/10 on the gay scale

Why the hell is there an iron pan?

Pretty sure he said "You should be fine". But if you wanted a longer answer. I mean, yea, the maturity rating is largely instinct-based but generally as long as your not goring children in your basement (Which is probably a straight 7 on the maturity scale), you can usually put the rating where you think it would go and no-one will complain. If you have general killings and stuff it'd probs fall in the 4-6 rating or If all your going to write is just a couple razor-blades and drug dealing. I think 4 or 5 is a decent number. As long as its not in the 8th rating, the 8th rating is reserved for as a basis that you can't reach. Endmaster made an entire article on "mature" stories. All you do is go on the help & info page on the left, then scroll down the page to the storywriting section, then click on Endmaster's Map to (Im)Mature Story Writing. Hope this helps!

Lol, it said they were going to hire a witch hunter...I wonder how you get into the "witch hunter" business to begin with.

Wow. Edgy title. "check". Anime-based. "check". Jesus, even the Power-Point splash art looks like something a pedophile would use to lure kids to. Sure he's no Kiel, but I can't say he doesn't know how to screw children.

Little bit of old news but whatever. Humanity loses more information of its past due to information entropy despite active preservation,

basically a museum burned down.

The museum's entire Egypt section pretty much burned down. This includes the 5 mummified corpses they had stored there. Many other artefacts were burned away. It is the oldest museum in the country and now its gone along with around 90% of the artefacts it was stored in. They also had no digital backups of the artefacts and the information pertaining to it (don't really know why they didn't tbh, seems like in this day and age having backups is a requirement to get anything done).

Egypt is slightly pissed at this loss of its own cultural heritage and the Egypt Consulate in Brazil has been sent to see exactly what the damage to these artefacts are. Anyway, chances are that now if you want to know more about the Egyptian artefacts collected by Brazilian Emperor Pedro I, your gonna have to ask the Egyptologists who saw and studied them before the museum burned down. Lets hope this is last of humanities past that has to be lost to time immemorial :)

It was either this or the classic xXxINoScopedJFKxXx. But then I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I would rather be sent to "furryhell" on occasion, then be a 10 year old for eternity.

Jimmy the dog jumped up again, trying to see out the window. Sure, it's the moon, but the lunar base had windows, and he wanted to see what was happening. Nathan, his owner, reached down and ruffled his ears. "Ready to go?" he asked with a chuckle. His mom thought he was crazy for bringing the big English Setter to Seraphim 5, but the truth was that the boys were inseparable ever since Jimmy saved his owner during the harrowing camping incident at Shadow Mountain. It was only reasonable that the two would become the best of friends because of that.

Jimmy barked, happy that his owner wanted to go out with him. He began to scratch at the door, then barked when he heard someone knocking on the other side. "Calm down," Nathan said, opening the door. He tried to shut it again when he saw their visitor was his ex, Victoria, but she quickly blocked the door with her foot.

“Come now, is that any way to treat a lady?” she asked, as she pushed her way into the door.

Nathan gulped nervously. He hated that bitch, but another part of him (literally) told him he didn't. Jimmy the dog barked excitedly at this intruder, his tail wagging.

Before either could react, Victoria jammed a needle in Nathan's neck. When he awoke, he was on a ship arriving at Mars, minus his wallet. He groaned. Jimmy barked happily. Nathan tried to clear his head and realized that he could not feel his legs. He looked down to see that they had been hacked off just below the knees.

“Ugh,” Nathan groaned, and dropped his head back down against the floor. That bitch is evil. My wallet? Sure. My legs though? Come on. Those fucking prosthetics cost a fortune. Using what little strength his noodle arms had, Nathan dragged himself into a little red wagon nearby. Hitching Jimmy's leash to the handle, Nathan was mobile again.

Nathan scanned the room for anything that could get back to Seraphim 5. Jimmy saw a mouse scamper by and rushed towards it, taking Nathan with him. The mouse was biomechanical, augmented to derive nutrients from cleaning filth. The animal cruelty folks got up in arms about it, but low-budget freighters always had these. It would likely lead them to a garbage chute.

"Jimmy, stop!" he yelled, frantic.

"Whoa!" a crewmember exclaimed, managing to halt the wagon. "That dog can really run! You should enter him in the race."

"Race?" Nathan asked, confused. "What race?"

"The 142nd Semi-Annual Dog Race," the crewmember explained. "It's 3 kilometers long." The crewmember then added, "Which is about 2 miles long."

Nathan glanced at his stumps.

"That won't stop you from racing. Assuming Turbowagon doesn't bump you off the track."

The crewmember tears up, looking down at his feet, which have numerous ingrown toenails. "Don't miss this opportunity to win prize money you can use to buy yourself wonderful new feet!"

"We're leaving right now!" Nathan decided.

When Nathan and Jimmy turned to leave, the crewmember shouted, "Hey! If you do end up trying out for that race, you should know the renowned dog racing champion, Victoria, will be there!"