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Questions about a storygame? Thoughts on Eternal? Any other IF you're playing out there?

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Finally! With help from BradinDvorak and other CYS folks, the "Character Creation" stage of "Life In The Afterworld" is ready for Alpha Testing! I'm looking for people to try out the stage and give me feedback on improvments that could be made, bugs, errors, and support as well as compliments and complaints. Questions are also welcome and I will answer as quickly and as best as I can. Thank you for helping me make a great storygame! The link to the game is below. Enjoy Alpha Testing!

EDIT: I don't know how to make links actually appear but of course you can just copy/paste ^w^

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/life-in-the-afterworld

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago
Linky for those too lazy to bother.

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Thanks! That was helpful! ^w^

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

The font color is a bit hard to read, but it's cool, I guess. Never really felt that these things are too important though. 

Good luck on finishing your storygame!

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Oh, but Aman! These stats and gender choosing and legions impact the story greatly! At least it will... You can have entirely different storylines based on your choices in the character creation stage because really, it's all about you and your story!

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Ha ha, was mainly talking about the background and graphic stuff. Find those more distracting then pretty, but I guess I'll talk about the stats thing. 

CoG makes a big deal about stats and backstory and such. Like, you get to choose everything (as literal as possible) about your character, making it your story. And people certainly seem to love that concept (I mean, they pay real money to do that, so obviously they really like it), so obviously this isn't a black and white This is Good, This is Bad according to everyone thing. Just opinions.

But I dont really like the idea of the character being a blank slate to fit into. Because, from what Ive read, it limits the author proportionally to how much it frees the reader. Scenes arent as personal because the city looks different to a city boy then to a country girl, and it's too much work to write the story for each possible backstory/personality. I mean, look at Eternal or Necromancer or Death Song. Their atmospheres are amazing, and each draw you in. But they wouldnt work if you could play a different personality, and who they are. But it still draws you in, and makes you think that you're the protaganist. 

But if your character can be a happy go lucky, black lesbian transexual or a brooding asian hetrosexual female, then youre gonna get into problems with the atmosphere, the writing, with everything. 

But I dunno if my opinion is in the majority, and even if ut's not, I'm sure you can write something epic. So dont take this as a discouragement. If you slogged through the stats, and figured out the scripting, then Im sure you have enough conviction to write something great. It's just may not be my kind of great. But hopefully it'll be great nonetheless. 

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago
I like the setup. I love the graphics and the interaction. I'm not sure exactly how far you've gone or what you want comments on, so I'll just comment randomly.

Why are the region names different colors? That seems confusing and the "Medic" color green is very hard to read.

Why does the select legion page change? That was rather jarring to be reading along, reading about the regions, then I hit "Go Back" and suddenly I'm on a black page with random red dots on the left side (I know those are bullet points, but still).

The "Allocate Stat Points" page is, well, difficult to read. For me, at least, the stat names stack double-spaced above the stats themselves. I think you might have been going for Strength: 10, but what I see is

Strength

10

And then at the bottom of that page, all the links have the bullet points, which are horribly distracting. Also on that page, the red text with the varying levels of black background is really hard to read, too. The brown of the links is even harder. I would strongly suggest a different background mainly because that one has sections of white and sections of black, so no text color is going to work well there.

The mechanics of the stats seem to work well. Pro tip: you might want to hide the "continue" option completely until a reader spends all their points.

Hey, here's something weird -- when I reset the game at the end and went through character creation again, I didn't get the black and white ghost-y background during allocation. And then when I get to the "Prologue" page, while I still have the brown background, there is no way I can read that brown text over the pattern on the left.

So hey, that's all I can comment on -- the colors and design. The links and information seem to work well. I like the idea of creating a character like that. I hope this works out well for you, and I look forward to seeing where this one will go!

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Red and black? I'll have to look into that...

I tried to make the text colors match the background in a way that seemed natural but you're right, it is hard to read in some spots. I tried to fix that by centering the text so it showed a little better but maybe a new background is what I really need. 

The whole "Strength 10" thing? My failed attempt at some coding I really shouldn't have messed with. I'll fix that right away. 

I'm not sure how to remove the bullet points. If someone could tell me that'd be awesome. You're right, they are hella annoying.

The legion names are different colors to distinguish them, although now that you mention it, I realize it's really not necessary... I'll change that at once.

Hide the "continue" button? Good idea! I'll do that, thanks!

Brown background... what do you mean by that? The basic one I have set up? Yeah, I'll see if I can fix that. Maybe a white background with decals along the sides? Hmmm.....

 

Thank you all for your feedback! I really appreciate it! I'll set to work fixing these things right away!

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago
The easiest way I've found to remove the bullets is using css: { list-style: none }

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

Works great on mobile!

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

This has potential, good work. ^_^

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago

thank you all! :D

 

P.S: How do you use the {list-style:none} thing exactly? I'm trying like:

$PAGETEXT := "<html><style>link{list-style:none;}</style><html>" + $PAGETEXT

?thing but it's not working...

Alpha Test -- Life In The Afterworld

8 years ago
Ah, sorry I wasn't more clear. To make it apply to all pages (if you like), put this code in the Global Script page: $PAGETEXT := $PAGETEXT + "[STYLE] li { list-style-type: none; } [/STYLE]" (And replace the [ and ] with < and >