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RPS Stories

7 years ago

This is the thread I use to write stories about RPS.

RPS Stories

7 years ago

An alien steps out of his flying saucer and charges his raygun. People flee in terror, running away as they vaporize. Finally, one man approaches the alien without any terror. In his hand is a briefcase. 

Confused, the alien lowers his raygun. "Why aren't you running, human?" he asks. 

The human simply smiles and opens his briefcase. He hands the alien a scientific paper on how unlikely it is for aliens to exist. 

"Oh. Oh..." says the alien as he finishes reading it through. 

The alien gets into his flying saucer, and flies far away from Earth. The human with the briefcase smiles and shakes his head. "I can't believe some people believe in aliens..."

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Paper disproves Alien

RPS Stories

7 years ago

In the dark of an alley, a man with shaky hands drew a gun. He had never done this before, but his family came first. They were starving; hungry, dying, in need of money. Just as he finished his thought, the sound of another man approaching could be heard. The shaky man turned the corner and raised the gun toward the other man. 

"Wallet and phone. Now." 

The other man glared at the mugger and took another step. 

"Don't come any closer. I'll shoot, I will." 

"If you're going to mug someone," said the other man, "you could've at least cleaned your gun." 

The other man opened his coat and pulled something from his pocket. A gun? A knife? No; a sponge. He brought the wet cleaning utensil to the rusted revolver and began to scrub. When he was finished, he placed the sponge back into his coat pocket and smiled. 

"That'll be 2.50." 

The mugger's eyes widened. "Oh, right. Sorry about that. Almost forgot to pay you," he said, handing his potential victim a five dollar bill. "Keep the change." 

The other man turned the corner and left the alley. The mugger smiled, wishing he could've tipped him more. 

"Wait, wasn't I supposed to mug that guy?"

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Sponge cleans gun

RPS Stories

7 years ago

I just realized the OP is kind of vague on what I mean, so let me explain it better.

RPS-25 has some interesting logic on what wins and what loses. Tree attracts lightning, which makes it beat it for some reason. Water erodes rock, so water beats rock. Some of them make sense, some of them don't, and some of them, like Paper 'disproving' Alien, make no sense with the logic that these forces are actually colliding.

Thus, I used these weird scenarios as inspiration to write a bunch of flashfiction.

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Susan walked through the doors to her house and flipped on the light. "Honey, I'm home!" 

"Susan... we have cockroaches," said her husband. 

Susan shook her head. Again? This house was infested it seemed. They had already called the exterminators three times and the roaches had yet to die. She placed her groceries onto the counter and approached her husband. 

"Susan... help me," he said, tears in his eyes. His head was unmoving, staring downward. 

Confused, Susan tilted her head. Surrounding her husband was a circle of... bread crumbs? No, a pentagram of bread crumbs. Three roaches lay at the foot of him, standing on two legs and chanting. The bread crumbs turned red like blood and began to glow. 

"Please, Susan, HELP ME!" 

The circle exploded into flame, enveloping her husband. Susan screamed and fell backwards. She watched as her husband's skin flaked away before the beam of fire subsided. The roaches ran in terror, fleeing under the coach. 

"H-honey?" she asked. Her husband tilted his head toward her, a half-scorched skull where his face should be. 

"NATAS MA I!" 

Her husband's eyes flashed red and he lunged for her... 

Roaches had made a man... into the devil.

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Cockroaches make men devils

RPS Stories

7 years ago

These were beautiful xD

Can I post mine here? :3

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Sure

RPS Stories

7 years ago

I'll do it sometime tomorrow/tonight.

Have to switch back to phone xD

RPS Stories

7 years ago

The nuclear warning siren blared throughout the city of Candale. Soldiers rushed outside their barracks to evacuate the townspeople. Women clutched their children in their arms and sobbed, while the men of the family begged and cried for them to run.

Every man, woman, child, and soldier looked up to the sky. A bright light flashed and the sound of something falling filled the air. In the distance, they could see the bomb falling. It would hit any minute now...

"Boy, is it hot in here or is it hot in here?" said a man, leaving his summer home. He was oblivious to the crisis at hand. People sobbed at his feet as he walked past. "What's wrong with you party poopers? Get up and live it up!" The man started to do a small, improvised dance to improve the mood.

"Can't you see what's happening?!" asked a woman. Her face was wet with mascara.

"Yeah, I can," the man said with a stoic face. "I can see that it's so hot in here everyone is sweating out of his eyes! Here, I'll cool us down."

The man pulled out a fan and began blowing the air towards people. In the distance, the nuke was about to hit the ground. "Man, what's that thing in the distance?" asked the man. "It's probably hot too, whatever it is. I'll cool it off. HEY THING IN THE DISTANCE! ARE YOU HOOOT?"

Despite receiving no reply, the man blew his fan toward the falling bomb. The currents shifted and the small flap turned into a massive gust. The nuke completely flipped over and launched back into the air, flying through the clouds and following the same path it had came from.

"Man, what's his problem?"

The entire town erupted into cheering and threw the man onto their shoulders. He had no idea what he did, but apparently people liked it.

RPS Stories

7 years ago

Air blows astray Nuke

RPS Stories

7 years ago

This is comedy if I've ever seen it.