Footink: Fantasy Cave City

Player Rating4.69/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 66 ratings since 06/16/2016
played 491 times (finished 66)

Story Difficulty7/8

"wade in shark infested water"

Play Length5/8

"Not going to lose any sleep"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

Your home is the extremely cloistered cave city, Footink. When a foreign magician is rumored to be lurking within, you're afraid. You're afraid of anything strange.

(Hi, this is the first choose-your-adventure I've shared. Hope you have fun with it!)

Player Comments

There's some very good writing in this, great work.

I liked that you did well in establishing both a setting and the characters, everything seemed to flow quite remarkably as things progressed. While there could've been more in terms of actual branching, the story that was being told was pretty good. So that gripe became rather minor, because this was certainly enjoyable with some good fantasy elements at play here.

This was somewhat short, and that's a bit of a shame because I feel that there's much that could be explored with this setting. Ah, but what's here in this was quite good. This felt like a complete story at the end, so no complaints there :)

I must say that I immensely enjoyed this. I wouldn't mind reading more from you, as you certainly have quite a way with words.

Overall, this was some very solid work as a story that is your first.
-- TharaApples on 3/21/2017 6:28:10 PM
Wow, this was really...good? Not at all what I expected to find, clicking randomly through new games. I read a lot of fantasy here and establishing setting details in a natural manner is often a major stumbling block, especially for beginning writers. Here, you were able to get everything the players needed to know about it and the characters across in such a simple, effective way.

As a CYOA it could be stronger in the area of 'choosing', with a few more branches available that change the story in meaningful ways. But nothing wrong with starting small for your first attempt, and you've got the whole 'writing an enjoyable story' part down pat, which is the most important thing.

Looking forward to your next attempt, and remember the forums are available if you need feedback or advice on any in progress projects.
-- mizal on 6/17/2016 9:41:56 AM
Very good! Especially for a first story. The writing style you use is easy to get drawn into and descriptive without seeming too heavy, and your spelling and grammar is perfect. I only wish it was longer, so that I could more accurately rate it, and although I have nothing against short stories as long as they're good (which this certainly is), I would recommend changing the play length to 3/8, because although there's a few different paths, all the paths are short by themselves, with only maybe three choices on each one. And the difficulty rating is definitely only 5/8 at the max. Other than the exaggerated ratings and the short length, this is a very good story and I'm sure you'll have good luck on your future ones.
-- Cinderblaze on 6/16/2016 11:42:55 AM
Very unique and well-done plot, but was very short. Detailed enough that it was understandable, but I feel like you could have added more. But once again, I liked the uniqueness of it.
-- Troppy on 6/16/2017 6:14:56 PM
This was very short but I enjoyed it enough to go back and explore every path.

I would really have liked it to be longer, even if only the best path expanded into a greater story but I was a great short story nonetheless.
-- FeanorOnForge on 10/21/2016 3:31:47 PM
Well I killed a magician, imma go find all the other endings!
-- frostmoon02 on 8/2/2016 2:34:37 PM
6/8

-- Deathdefender on 6/23/2016 8:47:00 PM
I became enslaved. Go figure.
-- crusader on 6/17/2016 5:35:44 PM
Great for a first story!
-- madmax on 6/17/2016 3:36:25 PM
This is a great storygame especially considering that this is your first. The characters were fine, the choices were used proficiently, and your writing ability seems strong. The only problem is that "Footink" reminds me of tattooed feet, but I still liked it. 6/8
-- WouldntItBeNice on 6/16/2016 10:02:55 PM
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