Grounded!

Player Rating3.59/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 21 ratings since 08/12/2017
played 169 times (finished 22)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

Tags

Humor

Oh no, your mother grounded you! What's worse, you also have to take care of your little sister for the day. Do not worry, however, since the friendly voice in your head is here to guide you through this terrible day.

Player Comments

This was cute, but really short and felt sort of aimless. And it seems even shorter once you notice how many of the pages keep getting reused.

The first time through I burned the house down, so that was fun at least.

I'm not sure what country the author is from but from some of the wording and the details of the story itself, I'm getting the sense English might be a second language. The grammar was fine, actually refreshingly so, just the wording chosen felt a bit stiff and formal in parts. (fake edit: googling 'mamercake' suggests Luxembourg?)

In the end though the story needed just a little something more to it. There should have been at least some small conflict or goal that took it beyond 'click around aimlessly two or three times until mom comes home'. Even if it was something as simple as adding more detail and a couple of choices to things like baking the cake to determine whether it works out or is a disaster, or a chance of one of you falling out of the tree when climbing leading to an injury you need to treat, it would make it feel more complete.

Also I'm thinking this needs a Geared for Children tag. But even with the flaws I have to say that the little that was here managed to be sort of sweet and charming in a way that somehow touched my bitter blackened heart, so I hope the author sticks around an d eventually puts out a longer project.
-- mizal on 8/12/2017 1:04:03 PM with a score of 0
This storygame was a fun little thing to click through, although the pages were bare and contained only 2-3 sentences each. I would play this on a sunny day when I had too much time on my hands (which is virtually every day). But there are several improvements to be made here.

First of all, try and make your content pop and seem like a real story. The kind of vibe that I got from this was a written-in-twenty-minutes-and-waited-the-time-out kind of thing. It would have been even more fun if you threw some...real plot into it. It was a little bland; kind of like eating pancakes without maple syrup or butter. Add that salt and flour, give it some substance.

Secondly, try and give characters more development than just giving them five seconds of screentime (booktime?). It would be leagues more interesting and more fun to read.

So, I think you could have added a lot more than you did, and put a bit more effort in than you did. Improvements, improvements, right?
-- At_Your_Throat on 8/16/2017 10:48:23 PM with a score of 0
Well-written and fairly entertaining. I was a good boy, so not to exciting,but still worth the time.
-- Weinerpuppy on 8/14/2017 9:37:10 AM with a score of 0
This was quite fun. My favorite game about being grounded remains A Day In Your Room.
-- UnStriped_Tiger on 8/12/2017 1:47:00 PM with a score of 0
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