Fluxion, The Reader

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7/18/2018 4:06 PM

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5 wins / 3 losses





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The Cottage


Left to fend for themselves, two children brave a dark forest, and the evil it hides.


Quick Notes:

This storygame is short, and it's kind of a kid's story. It's actually part of an idea I've been rolling around about a collection of fairy tales/spooky tales, a sort of anthology. It's my take on the classic Brother's Grimm tale, and it's not complicated, nor is it replete with a myriad of parallel plot lines. There are three endings (four if you count dying), but do not expect vastly different outcomes: it basically comes down to who ends up dying by the end.

It's also possible to completely avoid the main plot section (The Cottage), although I wouldn't recommend that path, as the story is short enough as it is. I'm not sure if this falls under fantasy or horror, but I think I'll go with horror, even if it isn't particularly scary. It's a bit macabre in places, but ultimately it is a children's story.

Visually speaking, I'd advise playing with images on, otherwise you might have to highlight text in order to read it in some cases. Also, you might want to scroll the text so it isn't directly on top of the moon on a few pages. A mild annoyance, I'm sorry, but I couldn't implement the full scripting I wanted to in order to handle that problem.

Lastly, admittedly this was put together quickly from a base idea jotted down earlier, due to the nuclear attack on the website over the past month, which put me too far behind to finish the entry I wanted to for Killa Robot's "Feels" competition. It is what it is: just a short take on a classic tale. Not a lot of feels, but a little bit of pseudo-early modern English ;).

The Ghost People
This is an entry in the December contest

Writing Prompt: "In 100,000 B.C.E., a boy from a Neanderthal tribe meets a homo sapien girl for the first time, changing the fate of their tribes for all time . . . for better or worse."

A Neanderthal boy is sent on a perilous mission to rescue kidnapped members of his tribe from the clutches of the evil Ghost People, whose magic far surpasses that of his own people.

Some quick info on the setting: It is generally believed that hominids lost their thick fur around 1.2 million years ago or so, give or take. However, for the sake of this story, Homo neanderthalensis will have thicker body hair than Homo sapiens (not bear-thick, but still thicker). There are two reasons I have chosen to do this: (1) They lived in the colder regions. (2) Homo neanderthalensis appears to have had primitive clothing compared to Homo sapiens; basically just fur capes, while Homo sapiens had more advanced stitching and more tightly tailored clothing (which kept them more warm). So I feel having neanderthals a little more hairy than Homo sapiens is a reasonable liberty for me to take in this story.

As for language and technology, both Homo sapiens and Homo neanderthalensis shared almost identical vocal anatomy where it matters. Despite neanderthals not having left behind nearly as much advanced artwork, they very likely had complex language just like Homo sapiens. As for fire technology, for the purpose of this story I am assuming that different hominid tribes were further advanced than others, irrespective of species. The neanderthal tribe the protagonist comes from has yet to master creation of fire.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Wheeler & Brandt LLP

WARNING: There isn't much by way of blatantly graphic sex in this storygame, but there are plenty of deviant erotic situations, including some pretty rapey ones. If such scenarios disturb you, this storygame probably isn't for you.

At its core, this storygame is a tale of a screwed up BDSM relationship, which you cultivate as the ultimate "sub." The goal of this storygame is to get your boss to engage in as many "unprofessional" acts as possible, and to eventually sway him into falling for you, all without getting fired along the way. If you make the right decisions, the game escalates from event to event, bringing you closer and closer to a relationship with your boss. It's pretty linear, and you'll know for certain if you get the "winning" ending. Let's just say it will involve a leash and some public humiliation.

You work in a small law firm, performing both receptionist and data entry roles. Your job is thankless and tedious, but one thing keeps you coming back: your boss, Brandon Wheeler. Aloof and dispassionate, Wheeler exudes a muted but overwhelming power you find irresistible, and you are determined to tame that power, even if it costs you your career.

Recent Posts

Very slow loading/"This service is unavailable" on 7/18/2018 3:32:16 PM
Just today I had some slowness issues for about an hour (was taking 2 to 5 minutes for a simple script edit to validate and save). Could be nothing, but did anyone else have any trouble today?

Fluxion's ACTUAL EPIC contest entry update page on 7/11/2018 4:58:09 PM
Thanks again. You are too kind and very motivating, MoreCowbell. I wish you were in the contest so I could read your stuff and return the favor. But then, 60,000+ is a lot haha. Probably wouldn't have time. I've hit writer's block 50 times already so far so...

Fluxion's ACTUAL EPIC contest entry update page on 7/11/2018 12:59:17 PM
Update 3: Early again because I'm bound to forget.

Story progress

I'm working more offsite this time, just in case the site shuts down again. But, while I have a good idea of the start and end, I'm still piecing together the plot points along the way. And this is doubly challenging for me because, as noted in Update 1, there are several different available starting points, each which will have very different circumstances that lead to the final act, and even how the final act progresses will be different for each. So, I'm trying to give solid purpose for each character throughout while making each character go down their own CYOA path, and also trying to a way to bring them all (or most of them) together to the same final conflict, either directly or tangentially (And of course, the roll each will play there will vary over several possibilities, some not even being in the same location).

So mapping that out has been the biggest challenge so far.

What I like about the story so far:

So far it's the elves. I like inventing this new culture that's a little bit alien. I like how forests are essentially grave yards, and that soul and body are joined to a particular tree, which creates quite the dilema for the elves in this story (of course I won't go into detail here). But, aside from the fact that my story is really a collection of different POV stories in the same overarching mega-story, it's definitely the elves that I'm enjoying writing about the most so far.

And since I'm on the subject, here's most of the second page of Ardriel's story (the Elf Princess), still awaiting careful editing, of course (there are going to be a few images scattered throughout the story, including on this page, but I'm not going to go full ridiculous like my other stories):


  It has been a long standing custom among the Ilowaes to have a feast to honor the memory of the deceased. Among most elves, the custom is no longer practiced. Usually those grieving simply spend time in the forest until they find their peace with the world again. But for the queen, such a custom must be upheld, and so you have spent the last few hours at the table to your father's right, a canopy of thick leaves a hundred feet above blocking most of the sun, while hundreds of feet below sits the base of the giant tree that is the home of the royal family, its roots anchored deeply in the earth.

  The mood was somber through the afternoon and into the evening, but tradition demanded a mildly festive spirit, and so music was played and fond memories were exchanged. You, however, spent most the evening silent. While you knew your mother through your dreams, you were not able to enjoy any waking moments with her, and so this exchange of memories was not something you could be a part of.

  You glance at your father. Never the loquacious type, he had hardly uttered a word during the feast. You notice his plate has barely been touched, but his cup, filled many times with wine this evening, is empty. Upon his face you see the soft magical glow from the leaves encircling the high platform, a legacy of your people's connection to the earth- the Ilowaeth, in your language; for your people, the Iloweas, are believed to be directly descended from the earth itself, before it died and became the home to all life.

  Your father looks into the distance, remaining as still as the trees themselves, except when politely thanking each person who bows before him and offers condolences. But it is clear to you that the emotion is slowly overwhelming him. In fact, it feels overwhelming to you as well. You begin to think of your mother, and of your time spent with her in your dreams. Your eyes become unfocused as you stare at the table before you. After a long, numb moment, you remember...

"Ardriel, look my daughter! Look at the sun! Isn't it beautiful?"

  You turn from the stream that leads to the pond at the sound of your mother's voice and glance at the sunset. The red-orange glow along the horizon creates a tapestry of deep pastels fading from bright yellow to deep black-green. Frogs croak in a constant rhythm, creating an almost harmonic counter-beat to the breeze and rustling of leaves. You know the real world could never duplicate the beauty found in this dream space, a place only your mother and you have ever seen or will ever see.

  "It is, Mother," you answer. "I can hear the sun singing to me."

  She laughs, a gentle, warm sound. Her voice radiating joyful curiosity, she asks, "What does it sing, my child." You turn to her. Her emerald eyes seem to reflect every movement of the scene around you; even the images of fireflies behind you pass over the soft glow of her irises. Low angled sunbeams partly shine through her soft white dress. The cloth itself, like her auburn hair, gently waves as if she were under water. Her feet gracefully float inches above the ground.

  You concentrate for a moment, closing your eyes and listening. It isn't really a sound, you realize; it's more like a warm, inaudible vibration. You meet her gaze again. "It is a mournful song, Mother, but with a trace of joy. Like an elder reflecting on a long life with happiness, yet sadness at moments forever lost to time."

  She tilts her head to the side, her brow creased, a look full of love and concern on her face, and underneath that a sense of resignation. She gently reaches toward you, tears welling up in her eyes...

  Suddenly the ringing of a fork on glass brings you back to the present. A single warm tear streams down your face, which you quickly wipe away. Your father stands, and the people scattered about the large wooden platform that serves as the royal court become silent. "My brothers and sisters, today we remember Ardriana, our queen, and my one true love. She was beautiful, kind, selfless, and wise. Among the Ilowaes, she was our beloved star. She lived in peace with Ilowaeth, and now she is one with it once again."

  All those present then repeat the phrase, "And now she is one." With this the ceremony is brought to a conclusion, and the name Ardriana will never be spoken aloud again, except in reference to the tree she has now become entwined with. Your father sets down his glass. You notice his hand shaking slightly, his breath faster than before, almost on the verge of panic. His eyes drop to the floor.

  In a much softer voice, almost a whisper, he says, "I would be alone for a while in our private chamber, where my wife's essence still lingers." He takes a deep, unsteady breath, and through a sad smile he says, "Do not be overcome with grief, my friends. Our queen is at peace. Rejoice at her life." With that, the king steps down from the dais upon which the large banquet table rests, and walks behind you. As he passes he gently squeezes your shoulder, and then disappears through some leaves, going to his private quarters.

  You realize he is at the end of his ability to maintain his composure; a requirement for a king. And a few minutes later you, too, feel the burden of grief beginning to overwhelm you. So you stand and bow, as tradition commands, for the rulers of the forest are always servants, and then you exit behind your father, down the long, shadowed tree-branch pathway upon the giant tree that you've spent most of your life.

What follows on this page is some thought leading up to the first choice in Ardriel's story, a seemingly minor one: follow your father to his chamber or not. It's not a hugely consequential choice, but it does affect whether or not some foreshadowing occurs. It also determines when a character is introduced. But much more important decisions for her come later. This is all just the beginning; these first two pages are about the funeral and post-funeral ceremony. This is a 60,000 word minimum contest, so no point in glossing over this sort of thing.

Anyway, there's Update 3, so I should be caught up. I may or may not post more snippets as I go. I've only touched on two characters. Maybe I'll add in Quinton Graham's introduction later (the eventual businessman turned spy), and maybe a couple more.

General World Events Thread on 6/30/2018 5:16:20 AM
Which really shouldn't be too much of a problem given there are no drastic needs like pressurization.

General World Events Thread on 6/29/2018 8:29:54 PM

I have one concern here. Is the low amount of oxygen enough? Because according to the link below, plants actually do need oxygen as well.

Do plants have to have oxygen to survive? Or can plants (other than the plants in wetlands) live without oxygen?

EPIC Contest - The Contest to Rule Them All on 6/29/2018 8:05:36 PM
I've seen a few, but I'm not a junkie. First one I saw (not counting Dragon Ball Z, of which I was admittedly late to the party on) was Crying Freeman (I think it was made in the 90s as well, but I was also way late to the party on that one).

Grammar: Titles within dialogue on 6/29/2018 7:58:26 PM
No. Basically if you pay for the premium service you get to ride in your car with the prostitutes while it's towed, and they, well, let's just say passersby won't see them due to the particular location of their heads.

Grammar: Titles within dialogue on 6/29/2018 5:55:00 AM
Let's say a character says he works for a particular company in a conversation. Do we need to use single quotes or italics for the title, or can we just capitalize the main words like any other title?

For example, say a character says this: "Hi. I work at Bill's Towing and Fine Prostitution Services." Should the business title be italicized or in single quotes? Or is it fine written like that? Thanks to the helpful Grammar Nazis!

EPIC Contest - The Contest to Rule Them All on 6/29/2018 5:31:54 AM
Kind of reminds me of Sword Art Online. (I definitely don't watch anime or read the stuff it's usually based on, btw)

General World Events Thread on 6/29/2018 5:27:20 AM
I love how he actually cites scripture from the Old Testament in the following page and then claims that the Bible was altered at a different part (the lineage of Christ per the Gospels):

CHRIST'S GENEALOGY (according to this crayon eating fartnugget).