enterpride, The Wordsmith

Member Since

1/13/2018

Last Activity

1/24/2020 8:20 AM

EXP Points

359

Post Count

53

Storygame Count

1

Duel Stats

2 wins / 0 losses

Order

Warden

Commendations

72

A jolly old Dutchman who is on an important mission to write his second story.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Having 1 Storygame(s) Featured

Storygames

Featured Story A Treatise on Heartly Manners

A contest entry for Bucky's year's end contest: choose your own prompt II.
Play as Lord Robert, the baron of Rivellon, at the lowest point of his life. He's cheated on by his wife, betrayed by his liege and filled to the brim with a turmoil of conflicting emotions.
How does his life end? 


Just a random idea
unpublished

Metallic Flesh
unpublished

An up and coming epic tale told about the incarnation of the first sentient artificial intelligence


Recent Posts

A new story. on 1/8/2020 3:31:10 PM
Ah, thank you very much. I thought I put those commas in there... must've been too tired. Yes. As I picture the story now, you see the world through the eyes of a small kid. He'll eventually grow up some more, find a true and dashing knight, and become his squire. Eventually, he'll grow disillusioned, have his dreams shattered and leaves for a mercenary company. There the school story comes in, cutthroat as they come. The narration will follow his look on the world throughout. It starts off young, lively and full of dreams. As the little kid grows up and gets exposed to the real world it turns darker and realistic. So it's a lot of plot that would need a really fast pace to pull it off: short pages with a high information density. I think I need to back to the drawing board and slow this whole beast down.

A new story. on 1/8/2020 2:03:18 PM
With the contest over and with it all the stressfull writing, I'm starting a new school-based story. I'm still unsure of a lot of things and appreciate all the feedback before I'm neck deep in shit. So here's the first page. I wanted to try a whole other style than Treatise, keep it far more light and innocent. Does this page work for you? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The mighty horse charges his target. His hooves trample any who dares stand between. All you need to do is couch your lance. The wooden stick hits its target hard. Success. "Ow! What did you do that fow?" your little brother asks with a refined indignation far beyond his years. "I will become a great knight one day!" you respond back beaming with pride. You usually missed. Today was a good day. It was your big dream to be a hero. Mama always told the best stories about them. They saved princesses, slew dragons and - most importantly - were handed all the sweets they could eat. "Come kids, dinner's ready!" You approach the table with trepidation. The food was tasteless, like always, and looked even blander. Your life was a load of pants. Nobody ever treated you with respect, you were always the little boy, and --most importantly-- never received the sweets you wanted. "Momma, Adam did it again!" You almost forgot that little monster. He always claimed all of the attention. Somehow he received it too. "Oh sweetey, let me give you my magical healing kiss," your mother coos back. It was frankly disgusting. "Hmmpf. It still huwts," your little brother replies in disgusting sweetness. It's shocking how the grow-ups can be so blind. Against all your sincere protestations you're promptly dragged back to your room. Adam had done it again, was always the bad guy. Your life was indeed a load of pants. You fill the vast oceans of time with naive fantasies, full of adventurous heroes and heroic adventures. They're almost enough to forget your rumbling belly. Continue.

Year's End Contest - Entry Discussion Thread on 1/5/2020 11:32:48 AM
As far as I know, there's no scripting in my game, just pages and links. So there are two main endings of the bear fight: - See your loved one, then wake up flows to the 'victory' branch and the following feast. - Choosing to see a monster or remembering the whole thing forces you to the 'defeat' branch where you either drown in love of consume yourself in hatred. So maybe it's that. Good luck with the judging! There are a lot of very good entries to choose from.

Year's End Contest - Choose Your Own Prompt II on 1/3/2020 10:17:12 PM

Here's my entry.
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-treatise-on-heartly-manners


A Treatise on Heartly Manners. -Enterpride on 1/2/2020 8:50:47 PM

I am sitting on a fat 31k words now with a multiple of completed branches. There are just the two branches remaining. It's the two that have bugged me for the last month, that I have procrastinated until the very end.
Well, the end is in a little more than a full day. So I guess I'll have to pull a Camelon tomorrow and finish them.
I hate deadlines.


A Treatise on Heartly Manners. -Enterpride on 12/30/2019 10:20:08 AM

Freetime got busier than I hoped. Still got one path completely finished with two more close to finishing. Then I'll see if I'll have the time to properly grow the last two branches, or if I have to cut them down to a stump dead end.


A knight, a princess, and a dragon. (Contest) on 12/20/2019 5:48:54 PM

"Well, I guess the charade is up, isn't it?" she says, softly sighing.
And you also get an awesome alliteration! 


A Treatise on Heartly Manners. -Enterpride on 12/19/2019 4:16:34 PM

Week 3 update 1.

I didn't procrastinate enough and only managed to get to 18k words. At least there'll be some quiet days off ahead.


A Treatise on Heartly Manners. -Enterpride on 12/12/2019 6:36:16 PM

Thank you for your kind words and you're right. The second set of sentenced flow much better, I've fixed it.

Your prompt makes me remember that one time I so innocently read the Grimm's tales. My kid-mind was not ready for any of that.


A Treatise on Heartly Manners. -Enterpride on 12/12/2019 6:31:51 PM

Week two, update two. It's getting somewhere!

So I just went past 15k words over 42 pages. Sadly I couldn't finish any more branches or add more endings. What I did do, was adding to the romance part of the game, blasting toxic early Weeknd at full volume. Fun times.
Next week is going to be busy with exams. So I predict I'll go full speed ahead with the power of procrastination and add another 5000 by next update.
I'd also like to thank Reader82 for some much-needed proofreading and an astonishing amount of high-quality feedback. Thank you, man!