Killing in the castle

Player Rating2.63/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 11 ratings since 09/12/2019
played 73 times (finished 13)

Story Difficulty6/8

"wandering through the desert"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

This is a mystery game. You serve to the royal family of England in the 1600’s. You live with the other servants in a small room under the castle. Then, everything changes when the family your work for is mysteriously murdered and you are the suspects in the crime. Can you find the culprit and save England from utter chaos?

Player Comments

The only thing this story does good at is that it succeeds in the plot area of things after that the story is burdened down by bad grammar and choice loops
-- Skeltro105 on 9/19/2019 2:11:05 PM with a score of 0
The concept itself is interesting. A murder mystery in the castle and it has to be solved by a not-so-skilled servant. Unfortunately, the execution fails on a few key levels:

- It moves too fast during the mystery, wasting most choices on inconsequential ones, so there really isn't much sense of hunting for clues. It's not that the mystery is hard to solve, per se, (I guessed it first time through, anyway) but that one has to solve it by recalling off hand comments and observations vs. hunting for evidence or quizzing suspects. So even though my hunch turned out correct, I didn't get a sense of earning the ending.

- Very poor grammar and capitilization issues make this extremely difficult to read.

- One of the key characters you spend time with isn't even a suspect.

- Some choices like 'comfort the king,' which the game does not let you do, are frustratingly meaningless.

- Beyond the first couple pages, the world itself is never really developed other than we find out there are newspapers and no one bats an eye if royalty decides to help out in the kitchen. It would have been nice to see sething more about the rules for servants or the intricacies of court life and ranking.
-- Camelon on 9/17/2019 11:39:23 PM with a score of 0
Sorry if this comes off a bit cruel, but in pursuit of a better story from this, honesty is the best policy. This is one of these stories where you don't need to hunt for errors, because they already outnumber and are hunting for you. And they found me too, the shriveling, shrieking mess that I was by the end of the story. Much like the main characters after attacking the guards, I ended up speared in the neck, chest, and stomach.

Okay, with that out of the way we can begin with some actual constructive stuff. There are a few issues with this mystery being a CYOA story to begin with, but they can be fixed. Firstly, there is only one meaningful choice, the end choice where you accuse someone of killing the King's daughter. All other choices are either annoying death chutes (berries), pointless (how to get to the dining hall), or extra information that could've been put on the original page. How to fix it? Add multiple ways to solve the mystery. Give us a way to circumnavigate reading the newspaper while still having enough information to solve it.

I like that you can sell out William at the end though and, in my head anyways, that's the true canon ending. Sorry, this was a bit rough, if you need assistance, feel free to ask me more specific questions.
-- TheChef on 9/13/2019 2:27:31 AM with a score of 0
At first I suspected this game was satire, because the initial choice is "do I come clean about eating berries or not," a choice which leads to either progressing or death/exile. Then I *knew* it was satire when I got to lines like this:

“The queen came in and picked some extra berries and helped me put the deserts” William says “she’s so nice”you thought

The game is wholly unproofread, and has sentence-level errors in practically every sentence. It's nigh-unreadable.
So once I realized that the reading was so weak, I realized, oh, this is not a satire. This is someone working on their writing, and then I softened towards it.

Then I got to the mystery (which involves a newspaper in this medievalesque kingdom) which has choices that deny agency (my favorite choice is "Comfort the King" which the game essentially says "NO" to. And then a later choice has a character grousing "Why don't you comfort the king?" I tried to!

By the end, I was pretty sure it was satire again, with one of the options for the murderer being "yo momma." Also, one of the choices for the murderer was someone who was in the game at all, which the game points out if you pick it. I thought that was actually pretty funny. So this game made me laugh one time, a bit.

I'm still not sure what the tone was. The end is obviously not playing this straight, and if someone took the time to mimic really problematic prose, my hat is off to you, but the story wasn't interesting enough to play through on a story level, and really hard to get through on a prose level.
-- Gower on 9/12/2019 10:07:20 PM with a score of 0
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