The Gaijin

Player Rating2.74/8

"#838 overall, #111 for 2015"
based on 62 ratings since 05/15/2015
played 334 times (finished 74)

Story Difficulty2/8

"walk in the park"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

Tags

Horror

Tale of one American's travels in Japan, and his experience with a supernatural force. This "Gaijin" is in for one hell of an eye-opening experience in this Japanese horror story.

Player Comments

As someone who grew up in Japan with a (caucasian) gaijin father this is something I can sort of relate to... the line "And how do you know I'm American?" was pretty funny.

But the humour alone doesn't really carry this storygame. The story feels very weak and is over in an instant, so I feel nothing for the characters. It does feel rather sloppy with a lot of the Romaji (at least I assume) characters not displaying properly. I don't think may readers are going to benefit much from reading all that Japanese. There is a time and a place to use foreign language in stories, but I don't think it was done very well in this case.

I don't think this is a terrible premise for a storygame but it really needs some fleshing out of the characters and plot. You could start by writing some more detail and finishing a longer story. You could have played up the whole scary gaijin thing a lot more and made more subtle jokes and references about that.

3/3
-- 31TeV on 5/28/2015 8:24:18 AM with a score of 0
Haha I find this funny because I live in China but from the writing it's clear you're relying more on your imagination than your experiences :) In Asia 99% of people don't speak English and those that do certainly don't speak it as well as these characters do :D That said this was a good, creative story and the writing was strong, I'd like to read more urban horror stories like this one!
-- Will11 on 5/16/2015 3:51:15 AM with a score of 0
Two ending, you bang a chick or get killed by a ghost. To pages two pages with more than one link (there was two.) There is less then ten pages total and with a little more length it could be a great story and a great game.
-- Dmanxbox on 5/23/2016 4:36:50 PM with a score of 0
Your writing was good. I enjoyed reading it. My personal story was uneventful, but I want to go back and try the second path.
-- dtcox001 on 7/19/2015 9:57:20 PM with a score of 0
It was pretty short, but at least there weren't too many spelling/grammar mistakes. The Japanese lines were really annoying though. Readers who don't know Japanese won't get anything from them, readers who do will be distracted by how clunky and pronoun heavy they are.
-- OwlishC on 5/19/2015 8:52:08 PM with a score of 0
umm really short and the japan links were... wierd
-- derpbacon on 5/16/2015 8:17:43 PM with a score of 0
The Japanese links pissed me off.

However, points for writing it in authentic Engrish.
-- Malkalack on 5/16/2015 5:56:17 PM with a score of 0
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