Player Comments on The Life Story #1: Preschool

Well it wasn't exactly BAD, just boring and not original in the slightest. It's really short as well, but there's not much that can be done with a narrow idea like this. It's why I've never been into storygames that are about spending a day doing whatever. They never turn out well and are boring.

The writing wasn't too bad, but some things need work. There's a part that talks about the mom introducing you to the door or something, so that was a little weird. Also, the kid's dialogue and mental proceeds are a little too advanced to be believable. I'd say tone it down a bit.

There's a few spelling and grammar mistakes that can be fixed as well, so I'd just take this down and work on it some more.

-- Nyctophilia on 9/27/2017 9:20:18 PM with a score of 0
Make it longer (too short for "Part of Series");
Write dialogue correctly (it's passable, but not 100% correct);
Include more interactions;
Make a conflict other than being left alone in preschool (example: bullies).

Writing skills;
Link choices (you had realistic choices);
Choice of words (not too hard for kids).

Note: It actually hooked my attention quite well. Keep up the good work!
-- Crescentstar on 12/11/2016 11:46:39 AM with a score of 0
I like it, reasonably interesting premise and well written. I've worked at a kindergarten in China and some of the children cried almost nonstop for 3 months when they first went but that might have been because they were 2-3 years old. The older children were 5 and 6 and after a few years teaching they knew the alphabet, the phonetic alphabet and can start to read short words, so out of boring teachery interest how old is the main character Maddie?
-- Will11 on 12/21/2014 12:24:37 AM with a score of 0
-- DUDE_MAN on 7/27/2019 8:59:36 AM with a score of 0
-- Anactaka on 7/11/2018 11:54:42 PM with a score of 0
It's okay, is a little short. I only found one ending though. Is there a next one? Because I didn't make any friends... Just talked to one other kid. Still an interesting game.
-- BunnyCatMouse99100 on 1/23/2018 12:11:33 PM with a score of 0
Good start to a story but you should have Preschool and Kindergarden in one.
-- Robin8 on 7/10/2017 10:32:20 PM with a score of 0
This is good.
-- UnStriped_Tiger on 6/25/2017 3:03:31 PM with a score of 0
This is NOT fun
It's Funny
-- ZombieGamer9188 on 5/28/2017 3:40:08 PM with a score of 0
Not much of a story.
-- Quorrah on 2/9/2017 5:25:44 PM with a score of 0
it was cute...
-- thebigE on 7/6/2016 5:33:42 PM with a score of 0
It was decent..kind of interesting, but I would have liked it better if offered more options.But overall, nice grammar and good job on the story game.

-- Snowflame on 1/8/2016 10:24:28 PM with a score of 0
Why?-I like how you can be a total brat and still get away with it, I find it amusing.
-- DeathIncarnate on 8/31/2015 6:56:31 PM with a score of 0
Good but pretty boring.
-- Penworth on 6/17/2015 11:51:50 PM with a score of 0
this was all just a bunch of scribbles
-- Maddie on 6/1/2015 7:13:00 PM with a score of 0
Pretty boring. Good grammar and spelling.
-- WizzyCat on 4/7/2015 6:20:56 AM with a score of 0
Too simple
-- Tio on 4/6/2015 11:59:05 PM with a score of 0
It was short and cute. I liked it.
-- bluejay14 on 1/11/2015 3:48:02 PM with a score of 0
Really short and a bit boring, but kinda interesting. 4/8
-- ko_hankinator on 12/22/2014 7:58:37 PM with a score of 0
Wow, I feel really stupid. I can't believe I mistook Fazz for Kiel... I feel dumb.
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/20/2014 7:42:34 PM with a score of 0
Uh ... Dick? I'm up here. Did you just have me on your mind or do you seriously think Fazz and I are the same person? We aren't anything alike.

That said, the story was okay. Yes, they do teach the alphabet in pre-school, Fazz. Kids can start recognizing letters by age 2, but it's only about age 4-5 that they're really any good at it.
-- Kiel_Farren on 12/20/2014 4:31:24 AM with a score of 0
It is okay.
-- WarriorCats on 12/20/2014 3:44:09 AM with a score of 0
Eh, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. It was rather boring and really short. And I didn't find any danger, so that statemen in the description is a lie. 3/8 from me.

And, yes Kiel, they do teach the alphabet in preschool... I think, I never payed attention, I just bit kids.
-- TheDickReviewer on 12/20/2014 12:48:58 AM with a score of 0
They teach the alphabet in preschool?
-- FazzTheMan on 12/19/2014 10:45:58 PM with a score of 0
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