Player Comments on The Life Story #1: Preschool
Well it wasn't exactly BAD, just boring and not original in the slightest. It's really short as well, but there's not much that can be done with a narrow idea like this. It's why I've never been into storygames that are about spending a day doing whatever. They never turn out well and are boring.
The writing wasn't too bad, but some things need work. There's a part that talks about the mom introducing you to the door or something, so that was a little weird. Also, the kid's dialogue and mental proceeds are a little too advanced to be believable. I'd say tone it down a bit.
There's a few spelling and grammar mistakes that can be fixed as well, so I'd just take this down and work on it some more.
on 9/27/2017 9:20:18 PM with a score of 0
Make it longer (too short for "Part of Series");
Write dialogue correctly (it's passable, but not 100% correct);
Include more interactions;
Make a conflict other than being left alone in preschool (example: bullies).
Link choices (you had realistic choices);
Choice of words (not too hard for kids).
Note: It actually hooked my attention quite well. Keep up the good work!
on 12/11/2016 11:46:39 AM with a score of 0
I like it, reasonably interesting premise and well written. I've worked at a kindergarten in China and some of the children cried almost nonstop for 3 months when they first went but that might have been because they were 2-3 years old. The older children were 5 and 6 and after a few years teaching they knew the alphabet, the phonetic alphabet and can start to read short words, so out of boring teachery interest how old is the main character Maddie?
on 12/21/2014 12:24:37 AM with a score of 0
on 7/27/2019 8:59:36 AM with a score of 0
on 7/11/2018 11:54:42 PM with a score of 0
It's okay, is a little short. I only found one ending though. Is there a next one? Because I didn't make any friends... Just talked to one other kid. Still an interesting game.
on 1/23/2018 12:11:33 PM with a score of 0
Good start to a story but you should have Preschool and Kindergarden in one.
on 7/10/2017 10:32:20 PM with a score of 0
This is good.
on 6/25/2017 3:03:31 PM with a score of 0
This is NOT fun
-- ZombieGamer9188 on 5/28/2017 3:40:08 PM with a score of 0
Not much of a story.
on 2/9/2017 5:25:44 PM with a score of 0
it was cute...
on 7/6/2016 5:33:42 PM with a score of 0
It was decent..kind of interesting, but I would have liked it better if offered more options.But overall, nice grammar and good job on the story game.
-- Snowflame on 1/8/2016 10:24:28 PM with a score of 0
Why?-I like how you can be a total brat and still get away with it, I find it amusing.
on 8/31/2015 6:56:31 PM with a score of 0
Good but pretty boring.
on 6/17/2015 11:51:50 PM with a score of 0
this was all just a bunch of scribbles
-- Maddie on 6/1/2015 7:13:00 PM with a score of 0
Pretty boring. Good grammar and spelling.
on 4/7/2015 6:20:56 AM with a score of 0
-- Tio on 4/6/2015 11:59:05 PM with a score of 0
It was short and cute. I liked it.
on 1/11/2015 3:48:02 PM with a score of 0
Really short and a bit boring, but kinda interesting. 4/8
on 12/22/2014 7:58:37 PM with a score of 0
Wow, I feel really stupid. I can't believe I mistook Fazz for Kiel... I feel dumb.
on 12/20/2014 7:42:34 PM with a score of 0
Uh ... Dick? I'm up here. Did you just have me on your mind or do you seriously think Fazz and I are the same person? We aren't anything alike.
That said, the story was okay. Yes, they do teach the alphabet in pre-school, Fazz. Kids can start recognizing letters by age 2, but it's only about age 4-5 that they're really any good at it.
on 12/20/2014 4:31:24 AM with a score of 0
It is okay.
on 12/20/2014 3:44:09 AM with a score of 0
Eh, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. It was rather boring and really short. And I didn't find any danger, so that statemen in the description is a lie. 3/8 from me.
And, yes Kiel, they do teach the alphabet in preschool... I think, I never payed attention, I just bit kids.
on 12/20/2014 12:48:58 AM with a score of 0
They teach the alphabet in preschool?
on 12/19/2014 10:45:58 PM with a score of 0