Player Comments on YOUR story (of how you died)
This was extremely underwhelming. This story could have been so much better if the author took the time to add more choices and exploration, instead of a set path that only leads to a singular vague ending. Another thing: when you find out that you are dead, you are super chill about it. One would think that figuring out that you had just died would register some form of panic. Overall, this story could have been much better with just a little more work.
on 4/29/2019 1:40:56 PM with a score of 0
I enjoyed it, actually, even with the grammatical errors and the obviousness of it. 5/8.
on 12/2/2018 9:23:31 PM with a score of 0
This is a very interesting idea, I would like to see something like this where you can be a detective and use clues to find a culprit. (: Personally, I prefer happy endings that would make sense if the story were true, but I make exceptions sometimes when the endings are not completely bad.
-- (: on 3/11/2018 8:27:20 PM with a score of 0
This honestly really hooked me in, but is some grammar problems. Other than that, it's great. Keep up the hard work!
on 9/10/2017 5:54:48 PM with a score of 0
Very creative and interesting concept, I'd love to see this story developed into something longer.
on 9/1/2017 12:35:21 AM with a score of 0
Okay, this was interesting, although I solved the 'mystery' after going through 'The Wolf door' (You don't capitalize 'Wolf' in this situation). Along with multiple errors in your grammar and the odd, unnecessary changes in text background color (probably due to copying and pasting), and font size, it DID keep me interested, regardless of my almost immediate conclusion.
'They become more bulgy'. I love this short sentence. 'They become more bulgy'. That's just funny. Anyways, I recommend going through your story, revising and editing before publishing it. This was short, but it did feel necessary. You do have a talent, and I hope to see you improve upon this!
But, however, the purpose of 'Choose Your Story' is to 'choose your story'. There were no true choices to be made that affected the story, thus making this a 'story', not a 'choose your story'.
The story felt rather linear, well, it actually IS linear, I'm just trying to sugar coat it.
The cliff hanger at the ending was, well, unnecessary, but I understand why you used it. In many situations, good story-telling comes with a good cliff hanger. This, as I've stated before, is set as a story, not a choose your own adventure. Maybe improving this and giving it separate endings will make it fit in far more. Anyways, your writing skills are pretty good compared to many others, so keep it up! I'm positive you will learn from this and become better!
on 8/30/2017 11:21:51 AM with a score of 0
Pretty confusing but then understood, 10 out of 10
-- Random... on 8/20/2017 8:35:02 PM with a score of 0
The full story 'experience' apparently depends entirely on being directly told by the author to select one choice after another in a particular order. There are no scripts to enforce this however and it's completely linear either way, so once I realized what was up I just rapidly clicked my way through to the end without bothering to read it. I think the big twist was that you were a werewolf or something?
on 8/19/2017 10:32:51 AM with a score of 0
It was very linear, and I'm rather disappointed with the ending. Not sure what else to say since the writing was better than most of the stories uploaded recently, but the reasoning of certain things were rather confusing to me.
on 8/18/2017 2:41:47 PM with a score of 0