4/2/2019

7/11/2019 6:17 PM

134

0

18 wins / 11 losses

Marauder

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Watch in fascination as the wolves brutally murder the trapped wolf.

The”detectives” are just more like vigilantes. It’s super over the top and I love it.

Thank you. I pride myself in its awfulness.

Here’s my Brexit story. Thanks Digit and Mizal. It’s your fault I wrote this piece of shit. 30 years had passed since that fateful day, the day when Theresa May finally got her way. Britain had followed through with Brexit, and subsequently left the EU. Everything had been fine at first, but then things went wrong. Theresa May had replaced all money with her new “Brexit Bucks” which also functioned as toilet paper. This led to an economy collapse as all previous forms of currency became useless. Everybody was poverty stricken, forced out of their homes and into slums. People began to collect and mass together in “factions.” These factions were their own independent groups, with governments and laws. There was constant fighting between factions, and the now bankrupt British government couldn’t do shit to prevent it. Now that’s where I come in. My name is Detective Christopher Duncan, and it is my sworn duty to protect the citizens of Britain, no matter the cost. I have rushed into the middle of faction wars, gunned down groups of attackers, and even broken into a bank, all so that I could save the lives of innocents. Recently, there had been news about the Crumpet faction. Apparently, they had been running an underground tea ring, producing and selling caffeine boosted tea bags for desperate citizens. This was big news. Tea had become extremely valuable ever since Brexit, and vendors now needed a governmental permit to sell even low caffeine tea bags. The Crumpet faction was selling tea bags with extremely high levels of caffeine, which was illegal altogether. If a person consumed too much post-Brexit caffeine, they would go into an energy overload and begin to spew propaganda about how Britain shouldn’t have left the EU. This is seen as treason, and is a class A offense. So in order to stop people from being executed for treason, I had to eliminate that tea ring. The first thing I did was find my informant: Harry. I walked up to him and asked, “So Harry, have any information about the Crumpet faction’s tea racket?” He visibly jumped, holding his finger up to his mouth and shushing me loudly. “Shut your mouth, you bastard!” he whispered, “You know this is too sensitive to discuss out here.” He motioned at me to follow, and walked inside of a nearby building. The inside of the building was burnt and empty, destroyed by looters over two decades earlier. Harry leaned up against a nearby wall, and I repeated my question. He looked around for a few seconds before responding. “Alright. So I’ve heard some things. Apparently the Crumpets have had this racket going for a few years now, and are just now getting some notoriety about it. Being who they are, the Crumpets have been mighty secretive about where they operate the ring, changing locations every couple of days or so. Lucky for you, I happen to know where they will be tonight.” I nodded my head eagerly. “Go on.” Harry nodded back and continued speaking. “You know that old sewer system from the 1980s? It’s not there,” Harry laughed, “The racket is actually taking place in the Whiskeymen Bar later tonight. I don’t know your plan, but I would be careful. They will have the place heavily guarded and packed with people. Good luck Chris. You’re gonna need it.” I thanked him and walked out of the burnt building. I hailed a street taxi and got a ride back to my home, where I prepared for my outing tonight. I grabbed a flashlight, duster, fedora, and of course my trusty revolver. After getting ready, I got onto my motorbike and drove over to the Whiskymen Bar. As I arrived outside, it was already clear that something was going on inside. People crowded around the entrance and shouting rang out from inside. I heard a gunshot, and a scream. I pulled out my gun and rushed the entrance. People jumped out of my way and I leapt through the door. As I ran inside, a thug stood up from a table. “Shit! It’s Detective Duncan. Shoot him!” the thug yelled. As that command rang out, I dove behind a counter and bullets whizzed over my head. I bent around the side of the counter and aimed my gun at a thug. I fired once and blood burst out from his forehead. I continued to fire back until I ran out of ammunition. Unfortunately for me, there were still a few thugs left, and they were still shooting. I bent down and picked up a small rock. I threw it at one thug, confusing the other two for a second. I leapt forward and pistol whipped one thug while kicking down the other. The third thug I slid under and slammed my gun into his crotch, incapacitating him. I stood up, brushed myself off, and looked around at the now destroyed bar. Disturbing my moment of zen, a yell from behind caused me to spin around. I came face to face with Leonard, the leader of the Crumpet faction. “Hand over the tea,” I said, holding out my hand. Leonard sneered at me. “As if I would ever cooperate with you, Duncan. You don’t know what you’re messing with.” He reached behind him and grabbed a knife off of a table. “A fight it is then,” I quipped. Leonard ran at me, and I dodged his stab. I grabbed onto his arm and pulled down fiercely, throwing Leonard to the ground. I picked up his knife and stabbed it into his back. Smiling, I wiped my hands off on my jacket and walked into the next room. As I entered, I was faced with a glorious sight, piles upon piles of caffeine boosted tea. I would be getting a promotion for sure. I picked up my walkie talkie and messaged the other detectives, letting them know that more assistance would be necessary. A large grin broke on on my face. Even with Brexit standing in my way, I still had succeeded in hunting my prey.

Post Brexit prompts here. @Will11 mizal told me to tag you to this thread.

Thanks! :)

True. Maybe it felt incomplete because there were a few run on sentences at the end. Idk.

What Love SICK joke? It actually is the best romance story on CYS.

I really liked this. Cool concept, but it felt unfinished at the end.