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Would Someone Read It?

9 years ago

Hello I am new to the site and I would like to know if anyone would read these.

The Vial - Genre: Fantasy - It is a story about a teenager who must take the adventure up the infamous mountain on the outskirts of the city Eldor. He must travel up the mountain to get the vial of health for his ill brother who will certainly be doomed if he doesn't bring it back.

The Adventures Of Neil Bukkits - Genre: Modern Adventure/Humor - You are Neil Bukkits, an ordinary person with a not so ordinary life. You always seem to find trouble and adventure where ever you go. But now you have had such a crazy week. You must get through the week without getting into too much trouble. Will you be given a pig farm from your uncle or maybe you will be given a live pet rock from your relatives. What will happen?

The Shadows Watch - Genre: Horror - You are on the night shift. You were chosen to stay from 11 pm to 6 am, this happens every month but they chose you because you haven't been here for very long. Nobody said anything to you about the night shift but everyone was murmuring something about the shadows. You must survive the night without any tools except a flashlight. Do not let this be your demise and remember, the shadows are watching.

Would you read these? I also have only started The Shadows Watch and The Vial.

Would Someone Read It?

9 years ago

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Would Someone Read It?

9 years ago

I read part of the vial from your points history. The writing is okay. It is easy to understand and gets the points across very effectively. Only issue I have with it right now is that the main story happens to suddenly. Please give us some time to meet the characters before completely diving into the plot. In some cases that works. But in this type of story it does not because we (most likely) won't be seeing your ill brother for most of the story.  If you do this, chances are, the reader will care more that their brother is ill and needs to be healed. Which puts more meaning into the rest of the story.

I feel like it'll turn out great. 

 

Would Someone Read It?

9 years ago

I will add a couple pages to help fill the gaps with the story, I will add something that happened around a week before he was sick. I also appreciate the feedback and I might add a bit more description to some scenes.

Would Someone Read It?

9 years ago

No problem. Can't wait to read it when it's finished.