1/13/2018

7/26/2024 10:31 PM

699

4

2 wins / 0 losses

Infrangible Warden

A Treatise on Heartly Manners

A contest entry for Bucky's year's end contest: choose your own prompt II.
Play as Lord Robert, the baron of Rivellon, at the lowest point of his life. He's cheated on by his wife, betrayed by his liege and filled to the brim with a turmoil of conflicting emotions.
How does his life end? 

Avarga

Entry for EndMaster's Prompt Contest 3. In this epic tale of courage, sacrifice, and redemption, Your journey will take you to the very edge of existence and beyond. Will you stand to lead; or will your story be cut short?

Brimstone

Allow me to share my story.

Cannibal Apocalypse

Pretty sure this isn't meant for the family-friendly category.

Contest Winner

unpublished

It did not win.

Darkest Hour

unpublished

The year is 2478 and the human race once again finds itself within Sol's borders. Like a phoenix from our bitter past, we have risen anew.

Like Aeneas, we had been cast out of our home. We searched the galaxy for a new home, and like him, we found it and made it our own. We struggled and were battered by the harsh conditions. But now, both ready and willing, we will eclipse the legends of old.

Now we shall fight to reclaim what is rightfully ours.

General Butt Naked

unpublished

FOR ENDMASTER'S CONTEST<, PRAISED BE THE LEGEND.

Liberia and Sierra Leone are small countries on the west coast of Africa. Like many African countries, the lands are extremely rich in natural resources and vibrant in culture.

However, in the 1980s the climate halted in corruption and mismanagement under the All People's Congress Party. With over 70% of the people barely capable of buying a single cup of rice, survival became much harder. Not trusting in the democratic process any longer, the RUF was formed to drastically revamp the economic system and redistribute the country's wealth. They fought for education, jobs, and true democracy. In the process, they pillaged the lands and cut off many limbs.

It is in these times Joshua Milton Blahyi is born, butt naked. And in these times he'll fight, butt naked. For he is:

General Butt Naked.

Neglected

unpublished

This is my neglected story.

zExpedition Aquarius

unpublished

For centuries, man has scoured the stars, desperate to find its likeness. Thus far all was for naught; empty husks and barren rocks worked hard to crush his dreams. There was just one anomaly, one beacon amid the darkness. This is its story. This is the story of man's first foray to the stars.

An entry to Mizal's Tiny 'topias Jam. Where a lot more little bite-sized stories are -and will be- shared by other authors.

And for those that don't have the extension, and thus can't click on the storygame to open it, here's a tiny backdoor left open. Feel free to make use of it, and even leave a comment if you like.

Expedition Aquarius

zLetters Unanswered

unpublished

An epistolary novel containing the desperate pleas of a sole father. How will he bring his daughter safety in a city ripe for rebellion?

An entry to Mizal's Tiny 'topias Jam. Where a lot more little bite-sized stories are -and will be- shared by other authors.

And for those that don't have the extension, and thus can't click on the storygame to open it, here's a tiny backdoor left open. Feel free to make use of it, and even leave a comment if you like.

Letters Unanswered

Who the fuck is this guy?

Good job on your improved writing

Never trust motherfuckers with too much bread

Only just turned full lezzo and already multiple girlfriends at the ready goddamn

Wait, you have friends?

Not being exceptional is nothing to be ashamed of my man. The overwhelming majority of everyone in the history of mankind haven't been exceptional in the way you envision. They did just fine and simply led a good life, or struggled and died from hunger or something. Just make the best of the 80 years you're given and enjoy the ride.

Never before have I been dealt a blow this low goddamn man

Which of the about 250 native american languages did you use? In any case congratulations on the win. A nice debut with the potential to grow. And what the actual fuck Alienrun, that was the closest you'd get to the essence of TikTok being compressed into an entry.

My man's still got it. Congrats Wizzy. Also nice story written Yummy, there's no shame here. It truly was a battle of prioritising prose vs plot

Well, didn't want to go too in depth, but here it is. It does make sense that the MC is literally dragging the problem out in the same way it makes sense that I am sitting an hour on the toilet whenever I'm constipated; I wouldn't want to read or write 2000 words about either ordeal. At some point, the pacing of a piece should take a look at what is entertaining and what isn't, unless it's an autistic focus point of the author (because I can always appreciate that). Now let's go from generalizing statements to the specifics: C's plot. We start with a kid who wants to keep his hair. Then the kid gets bribed with sweets. Then the kid's hair gets cut and the kid faces their fears but also passes out. Then it thrice again gets repeated that the haircut is to remember the lost ones. Then she likes her new haircut. With the 2000 words spent on the plotline, it fails at either being interesting or offering depth. There are missed opportunities to make it more personal by letting the MC grieve a loved one or actually come to terms/offer a response at the whole regrowth mythology. It fails at depth by underexplaining why long hair is such an important facet of the tribe (like it being tied to strength and power like in Samson), or tying more elements to their regrowth mindset. It fails at being entertaining because it's a story about cutting hair without any subplots. That aside, when the prompt was a tribe's unique custom, there are so many possible and cool worldbuilding elements you can hook your plotline in, that I feel like this is wasted potential, but now we're straying dangerously close to personal tastes.