Player Comments on A night in Dark Chicago

So, I haven’t gone through all the endings yet and have yet to find the surviving ending, if there is one, but I’ve played through several endings, including the original, so I feel comfortable reviewing this. Now, I’ll start off by saying that horror is not my genre, so take my thematic criticisms or suggestions a bit lighter.

So, this story was decent and entertaining enough that there was a draw to keep playing through endings. Really, I don’t think anyone would regret reading this story. I will say that it misses something that it needs to really set itself above the crowd. I’ll try to shed some light on why that might be.

So first, as a horror game, this isn’t really scary or disturbing. The scenes move slowly and leisurely, so there’s not the tension and release that’s needed to really build up suspense. On the other hand, it’s also not especially gory or gross in description. While this is a worse way to build up an eerie atmosphere for horror, it does still work. Here, though there’s nothing to make this feel especially horrible.

Part of the issue might also be the length of the story. The part of horror like this that really enhances the anxiety is the hunt, but this is short enough that I know there’s either a quick death or survival. In addition, very little characterization is done, so it’s hard for me to root for the characters. Instead of playing to survive, I start going through methodically and clicking other choices to see if it’s the right one.

Now, this does sound like mostly criticism, but I will say that the prose and description are strong. The word craft itself was pleasant to read, and I think this can honestly carry the story quite well if frequent typos in the second half are fixed.

Also I am commenting from an ending with no end game link at the part when you are killed by the parasite liquid people after escaping from the spiders

I stumbled across a good handful of typos, and some broken on page scripting, so first of all this could use another proofreading pass. ("its" should only have an apostrophe when it's a contraction btw, not for possessives)

"You cream again, but the sound gargles in your throat as you feel your muscles begin to lock and stiffen." >>> No, no, this is not what it looks like, it's not THAT kind of story. It's just another typo. Then again this game does involve a lesbian being imperiled by giant insects again and again, so maybe for certain people it actually IS that kind of story.

Basically every path is you going out into the city with your little camera and encountering something. Most of those somethings will kill you. And of the things that will kill you, yes, a weirdly high number of them are insect things. I'm not sure if that's something that comes up a lot in the official setting, or if Anthraxus just likes his woman-eating bugs.

The storygame description does get into the setting a bit, but the story itself might have benefited from some of that background stuff being worked into it. There really is no prior indication at all that the POV character understands that she lives in a world where some weird shit is lurking, despite never seeming too be actually surprised when she runs into it.

There are a decent number of endings and a decent number of ways to discover all this weirdness, although the way the paths are structured gets a little samey...strange how this woman has been going out for many nights over a course of years with seemingly no issue when there's something lethal lurking around every corner. I found myself a couple of times wishing for a bit more interactivity in dealing with the various creatures encountered. Or maybe even interactions with people or places that DON'T want to kill me for a novel change of pace; the one where you join the monster hunters was the most interesting to me for that reason, but then it sort of had the designated immediately go home and end game ending, where I'd have liked to see that one continued or developed for a bit longer.

There's a lot of description here even of mundane things, like a LOT. I enjoy and have a high tolerance for well written descriptions, but not everyone does. Specifically it put me in mind of a parser IF game in some ways, with the high level of awareness and emphasis on my surroundings and what they contained at all times. Maybe that's why I was feeling the lack of interactivity, because if the story establishes objects in reach of me and the number of exits and where they all are, I start getting the sense that this is significant information that will be used somehow.

First ending I got was Long Walk Home, it's arguably the best one, and I got it by making the sane and rational choices as a woman wandering the abandoned warehouse district of Chicago alone. So I do appreciate that the game accounted for that kind of playthrough.

Fairly decent story! Not a very exciting idea, but the plot fits well with the evening at Chicago. There's a strong sense of immersion throughout, and was overall a good read.

Needs spell check, but interesting story. I enjoyed the read.

I enjoyed the excessive amount of description.

Some Picky people may point out that the Little Calumet river is in Indiana, not chicago, not sure it reaches the lake.

Go through warehouse
Confused by the initial shadow references. Shadow is singular but they you refer to them being in front and behind.

3rd floor
Second paragraph is awkwardly worded. Had to read it a couple of timew.

First read pretty good. A couple of notes. In the first scene you talk about the Chicago skyline, but the picture there does not support that. There are some weird numbers and % symbols in the text.
Walk Commercial
more weird % and symbols in text.
Check out Bar
%and Susan w/ weird symbols.
In bar
How know is blood rivilets, Maybe looks like blood but assume it's fake?
Sign Contract
Susan and 5 symbols.
Really good job. I will look at it again later.