Surviving the Trip Home

Well... it's something.

Like Saika pointed out, there are probably more one link pages then pages with actual choices on them in this storygame, which is a major flaw because it makes this much more of a plain story, rather then a choose-your-own-adventure-story.

It did seem rather illogical and just plain silly at some points. Some things didn't make much sense, maybe it was from the rather linear writing, or maybe it was the unrealistic situations.

Character development wasn't exactly a big part of this storygame, I would have rated this higher if you'd fleshed out the characters better. At the moment, I don't feel any emotion or sympathy for them.

Detail could have been better, but you did have some, so it wasn't all bad in that category.

I'll give this a 3/8, improve it please.

At the beginning, there are too many one-link pages, and the plot doesn't really make sense.

Died fairly quickly. Still good, though.

Heck yeah

That's boring:S

So many one-link pages. So many.
Aside from that, it did keep me reading and the use of pictures added to it was a nice boost.

nice

I read this because I wrote a story that started similarly. Way too much telling rather than showing and dreaming every single night about your family...so stickily sentimental. Sure, this is realistic, but so is pooping...and I won't want to read about that (well, except in that one spider game on here). Also, not enough choices in the beginning.

It was a really good story I had a very fun time taking it, and I'm surprised that I made it home safely on my first try.

The beginning was totally unbelievable, it would have helped the story if you had begun by setting the story as a crash landing in the first place, and cut out the first few scenes where you had no choice of where the story was going to go anyways.