The Dreamcage

Not bad. It's great that you took people's advice and edited the game. Most writers (if you can even call them that) on this site continually put out garbage and never listen to anyone's criticism and they never improve.

But you, on the other hand, actually care about putting out something worthwhile, so I give you props for that. Still though, this game has some flaws still.

There are still a few spelling and grammar errors which were present. But didn't detract from the story in any way. Also the fact that this is unfinished and a 'part 1'. My rule is, a story needs to be atleast a length of 6/8 to have an extra part. Because it means it can stand alone as a story and not just a "Chapter" for say. Most people do not finish their series after promising so.
Other than that, the writing was fairly good and I think it was an okay read.

4/8 from me.

Well, that was... interesting... To be honest I don't quite know what to think about this story, though I have the feeling that a cat is creeping up at me as I'm writing this. The writing in general was great, but shortness of each scene and the random, random randomness to me make it feel like a bad game.

I think this is mostly because of the rapid fire of completely different, short stories you fire at the reader. This has the kind of confusing, estranging effect on the reader.

I'd say take the individual scenes and turn them into full stories, cause some of them were very decent.

I've given it a 4/8, mostly because I really am still trying to figure out what I've just read...

I feel like my dreams have a little more coherence to them.

prty good br. It wasn't really hard enough.

Its ok. It's kinda like my experience with-

This story had me laughing at every turn

dude get a sequel going asap! Just when it was getting good!

Honestly, you should have waited until you added way MORE crazy shit before you posted this!

This was a little random. I get that it's supposed to be random, but maybe you could connect the dreams a little bit more? Overall, it was pretty good.

Maturity level must be changed!!! War? Bloody dead people? Please make it like PG 13...

It is a very interesting concept, and I was very surprised and pleased with the ending. I think you should create a sequel to this game detailing what exactly the scientists need him for. The one thing I did not like about this story game was the paragraph length. I skipped a bit of action because I would get tired with the long paragraphs compared to the single secluded sentences. I recommend not changing or deleting anything, simply separating the larger paragraphs into smaller, more manageable ones. Thank you for completing this game and well done!