Player Comments on The Miracle of Jess

This storygame is a 99% linear story, clearly written as a straight-up narrative rather than with true interactivity. There is some use of items early on (these sort of fall away 1/3 of the way through, and they are never used in any particularly interesting way--the key goes in the lock.)

There are a couple of choices which, if you choose to push against the stream of the story, push you right back into the main narrative. "Go with the Doctor/Don't go with the Doctor"--both, of course, make you go with the Doctor.

I am not at all a Doctor Who fan. I know enough of it to be able to tell this is sort of a "best-of" mixer of some of the major enemies and types of plots. The main character here is a total dud. Perhaps this is typical for Companions. But she does little--*can* do little, because there are not choice. At one point someone actually says, "Get behind me, my lady!" to her.

Writing-wise, the story is serviceable, but not great. Serious punctuation and sentence-level errors show up on nearly every page, but the writing is totally readable, and there's some narrative momentum. I think this would have been much better just as a story--as an attempt at interactivity, it's a tough read.

Very linear, but still entertaining.

I like the story line, but here's a few things that I think that would make this story game "extraordinary."

First off, grammar. There were quite a few spelling mistakes and misuses of commas. Make sure to proof-read when done, or get someone else to.

Second, the story looped a lot. When I used the phone to call parents, I actually tried calling them on all of the pages;-;.

Third, I loved the length of the story, but there were barely any choices for that long of a story!!

Lastly, LET US MAKE OUR OWN CHOICES!! I what if I didn't want to go with the Doctor? If anything there should be a little more story then end game if you don't go with Doctor.

Other then that, the story has A LOT of potential!! LOVED IT(????)

I love love love love loved this story.. I was seriously hooked on it. I wish there was more.

SOO TOTALLY FUN TO READ!!! :)

Would've liked to see a romance blossom.

No Means No

Although I am not a fan of Dr. Who and sometimes didn't understand what was going on, it will be hard to find a fan fiction story game as well written as this one!

Great story. You got me really interested about Doctor who! I just might start watching the series!

I think this could even be considered feature-worthy if not for its linearity. That was my only problem. It was too freaking linear. Otherwise, this was awesome.

Wooooo Doctor Who

Good game I can't figure out how to beat it though.

is there another 1 coming anytime soon?

It was well written, especially for a fan-fiction, but... As others noted, there were very little options that actually made a differences if any. You were kinda forced down one route.
Fan-fiction being mixed with 'Choose your own adventures' can be a really cool way to go, with the different paths, etc. Unfortunately, you didn't utilize that.
As it is, and you even admitted this, it's just a (good!) fan-fiction, not a CYOA game.

I really don't understand nor do I like, or have seen doctor who before. Honestly, I just dislike how everyone talks about it (I haven't quite pinned down if it's a book or a movie series; I know it's one of the two). The game was pretty linear, as in, not many choices for a choose-your-own-adventure game. Nonetheless I was impressed by the vocabulary and execution of the text to insure that my experience was at least somewhat enjoyable.

You had good grammar and spelling, and the game was pretty long. It was pretty linear, though, and I feel that you could have branched out different bits of it. Are you making another? You should. I really want to know what happens. I do recommend you unpublish this one and add to it if you want to continue the story, it tends to be better for readers. Good job. 5/8.