Player Comments on Apocalypse desert monster
I got the true ending for all it's worth. And I believe I read almost everything.
This is a lolrandom story, which I happen to like... when done properly. This isn't funny random, this is stupid random.
I do not see the point of the items since I wasn't able to use them on even a single page. Sure sounds like the "infinitely warm" rat skin could have been used to good effect in the "cold path". Hell the "pick your ending" thingy could have been done with simple site scripting. At this point, I don't know if it even checks if I have the items, cause I have them all.
There are nonsensical links aplenty, including one that just resets the entire story I guess? I'm not sure if I should bother mentioning the bad grammar/spelling mistakes... cause it was probably to be expected and I'm the fool for hoping for better.
Finally, all I know about the "beast" is that it's an insectoid or whatever. This is not a tense psychological horror game so that doesn't work here. I also know nothing about the protagonist, nor do I have any reason to give a shit about him (or her, cause I don't believe it's been specified either).
I still gave you a fucking 3 cause again, I'm a sucker for lolrandom stories and some of the over-the-top STUPID shit did get a laugh or two out of me, but this game is generally bad. Do not recommend it. Go and read some of the higher rated stories to see how to write your next one.
on 9/14/2022 7:09:58 PM with a score of 0
I survived freezing to death by, let me check my notes, uh, using a jar of glue? Yea, that's an apt summary of this game.
on 10/1/2022 5:22:29 PM with a score of 0
I originally gave this a 3 which I think is better than the writing itself deserved, but it did seem to have a decent number of choices and some effort put in with the items and such. Still ultimately didn't meet minimum standards for the site however.
Now I see it's been republished by the author, but it's just going to be taken down for low ratings again. There is only a small amount of text here, it would not have been difficult to edit it into something passable...and so it's doubly a shame that after all this time and receiving feedback the author still hasn't bothered.
(Hint: Capitalizing the beginnings of your sentences is a good start for making something look--at least on a passing glance--like it's not been written by someone with a severe brain injury.)
on 10/1/2022 2:51:26 PM with a score of 0
It was ok. I don't really have anything else to say about it. The writing was legible, and the world was kind of solid. The eat glue ending was pretty good. You usually don't see the small endings like that in a puzzle game.
on 9/21/2022 11:37:15 AM with a score of 0
Well, you tried. I would recommend consulting the writing workshop for any future possible stories you may want to write on this website. Things such as grammar, choices, the use of items was severely lacking in execution in my opinion.
on 9/17/2022 11:57:50 AM with a score of 0
It's nice to see someone experimenting with the item system.
I'd recommend checking out some more of the other storygames around, along with the articles under Help & Info, to get a better grasp of what the expectations are here.
on 9/14/2022 4:53:20 PM with a score of 0