Player Comments on Chains

Honestly I think the fact that this got rated so low was that some choices made you have to redo everything besides giving you a endgame link, since the writing in this is actually really good and I feel it could have easily been a 4/8 besides some minor details.

The premise of the story is what I most liked and feel that it could have been expanded on but I think that wasn't what the author was going for and instead was just trying to push out as much raw emotion as possible as given to by the the summary of the story.

Didn't see all that many typos here so thats a plus too.

For what the story was it was enjoyable to read. Not something that I would read again though but I feel like that is the nature when it comes to a genre like this.

Enjoyed

The general idea of the story is nice, and it appeals to me in a certain way that is hard to describe. Unlike most, I can relate to the situation the character struggles with in the beginning, being alone and locked up in a room by myself. There are a few things that I found strange about the storygame p, however, so let's just get right into that.

The character has been stuck in the cell for months, yet when he first meets the girl, he doesn't no remember anything before waking up. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't know how long he's been locked up if he couldn't remember anything at all. There's a but too much development attempted with the characters too. He is immediately falling for her without even knowing if she's here to help or hurt him.

The coiled snake is introduced in a way that makes it seem like we've already come across it before, yet we haven't. We know nothing about it; why it's here, where it came from, and what the point of it is in the story. I think a better introduction should be assessed and inserted in an updated version if this story.

I also don't like how we are told to not give up, yet all of the choices say to "Give Up". Having more than one of the same choice is pointless and only confuses the reader, so I recommend taking care of that. I'm getting the feeling you lost motivation with the story after the boy and girl meet, and threw in the whole snake situation to put an end so that you can publish it.

Besides all of this, it isn't that bad of a storygame. It can be fixed very easily, and I also recommend changing the font. I hope to see more from the author in the future.

3/8

I'll be honest, I quite like this. I like the way it went around in circles and the harder you try to struggle the faster you sink. Depression is a spiral and I think this story was quite a clever way of giving an example of this way of thinking. It is depressing and it definitely won't be to everyone's taste but subject matter aside I like the way you wrote and presented this.

Personally I think the solution is to change perception and not see a prison but as many different means to escape that can be tried and tested continually, readapted and reattempted until you hit upon something that succeeds. Changing perception is not easy of course and this game doesn't offer any solutions (or if it did I didn't find them) it gives a realistic portrayal of effort and eventual despair. The message is a dark one but it's unfortunately a realistic one :)

I'll be interested to see what other people make of this :)

Fairly good, I like the connection between the two people.

Part of this reminded me of my first story. Part of it. I don't know, just going through 7 passages of "Give up" is a bit depressing (which I guess is the intention here).

I get the message that's being sent here - it's the feeling of helplessness. In that respect I think it was conveyed very well, but there wasn't much beyond that. Replaying this game a few times afterwards didn't really reveal anything else.

Either way, it reminded me more of a Twine game than anything else.

Also funny as hell when you think about it, but that might just be me.

Very clever, bit of a cruel result but I get that, very clever indeed.

Ok I tried to avoid giving up and it still ended with "give up"? Sirousness dude WTH?

I gave up the whole time. Over a dozen choices said, "Give up"
1/8
sorry, you had potential.

too much "give ups"

The premise is excellent. With eventually no other options, you feel as though life can only end in one manner.

Was some good writing, but since almost of my route was pushing the give up option, with no other choice, I was slightly confused. A for effort, but some things kind of ruined it for me

So much repetition, maybe it wasn't. The font was very distracting at times, sorry.

I feel like this is a metaphor, but I was too distracted by the annoying font to have an epiphany.

The writing is very good and makes me eager to see what you might come up with in a more traditional story. This one, while I think I can see what you were trying to do, was frustrating. It's linear, and circular, and maybe that was the point but it seems to defeat the purpose of a CYOA format when most of the options are 'give up' and the rest are also 'give up', just worded differently to disguise them as choices.

It's well-written. Maybe a few too many "meaningful poetic imagery" moments, but nice to see something with some effort put into it.
It seems as though this may have been intended as an illuminating portrayal of either depression, unrequited love, or both (it's a bit murky. ). If so, it doesn't really work: the narrator constantly berating you for giving up when it's the only available option comes off as didactic, forced, and self-indulgent.

On the other hand, it's an absolutely brilliant success if it was meant to evoke the frustration experienced by friends/family of the depressive.

Any semblance of caring I had about the character or what happened to him quickly vanished as I realized no matter what I said or did, he was just going to sit there and moan about the futility of everything.
I just wanted the story to be over already, and yet to my great annoyance the narrator continued to blather ad nauseum about the character's despair and helplessness.

Which is a masterful depiction of depression.
on the one hand, you're experiencing tremendous pain and suffering that you can't find a way to escape, and when you try to explain it to anyone, they roll their eyes and tell you to get over yourself.
On the other hand, someone you care about is suffering, and anything you do to try and help gets met with either nihilistic apathy or them wailing that you just don't understand.

So, yeah. As a polemic on self-loathing it's fairly adequate.

Wow. I really like your writing style, but the game is depressing. Please make another game with more choices and at least one solution. Although this game was very entertaining, and kind of spirally, I wish you'd put in a solution. I guess that's how life is though. I really enjoyed it, but I think you can do better. You get a 5, for now, but when there's a solution, an 8

This game for me was hard! Everything just repeats itself and repeats itself. It's like pararrel line circling in the same cycle! Still..I kinda like the game a bit...I like really detailed games and this is really detailed. One thumb up.

Jesus, we get it. Life is pain and sadness. I feel you were trying to accomplish some some great Nietzchen existential metaphor, but it just came off like teenage angst.

Oh god. I hope you at least are entertained by my pain