Player Comments on death alley

Well I could see you were trying to use the advanced editor, but haven't quite gotten the hang of it. The hideout was supposed to be used to restore your health and restock on ammo, but it didn't do either and after you save your brother and the girl you like, it doesn't make any difference to the hideout, plus you're given the chance of switching weapons when you can just take all three. Stuff like that you need to figure out how to fix. Shouldn't be too hard.

It was interesting, but it dropped you in with no explanation, like, "Yeah, it's a post-apocalyptic story, whatever." The swearing, to me, seemed unnecessary and out-of-place, as well as many pages. I know you were trying to be funny, but it seemed forced. It might help if you fix it so that the player can only take one weapon a day to add strategy. Also, I ended on a password, so I got the impression that you said, "Yeah, it's not finished, but I can't wait to publish it so I won't." Also, a spellcheck is in order. It might also be nice to manage and talk to all the survivors that you've gathered, command them to forage for food, join your monster hunt, etc., but maybe I'm getting a little too in-depth. Interesting system, but in its current state, even you have admitted that it's a joke. We'll have to wait for the sequel.

Potential is there.
I think the organization and systems need work.
The path I took (that lead to the ending with the password) had a half-decent story, although it was all skin and bones. Your vocabulary was decent but your spelling and grammar was a little on the weak side -- not terrible.
So for organization and systems. Never ever have a link that breaks the wall between real and story (IE: I want to kill the narrator). And there should never be pages that say "click the link." Those are all avoidable things. Also, it had so much potential with: "Kills better at short range" etc. That could have been awesome, but instead I never got to use weapons and all the battles were linear.
Oh yeah, and capitalize your title.

Everything about this was just too stupid for words.

Okay, this was just...silly. What was with that ending? The "I AM STUPID BUTTON" choice that comes up near the end? Are you supposed to be able to replenish your health at this hideout? Everything loops if you choose the same option more than once, to the point that you rescue the same brother infinite times from the same rooftop.

The spelling and grammar needs work and the bestiary was a mess. I facepalmed when it got to the part about your high school crush. It became ludicrous, especially near the end.

There isn't enough choices

This took less than two minutes. Lol. Hardcore boring. File 13. Gamer Monthly's recommended game to forget.

Really? A code and a rushed ending? You need more length and development. This can be a really great story, it just needs some work.

That was terrible.

That was a weird example of a really promising game that just collapsed due to indifference or lazy writing from the author. If you don't want to finish something I'd leave it and come back to it later; not just write whatever to get the story done. This could be a fantastic story if you rewrote basically the whole last half.

This could be good but needs a lot of improvement. It seems like the author couldn't decide whether to write a story or make a game and ended up with neither.

Not a great story. Very linear and not very well-edited.

Could use a LOT of improvement.

Katia comes to kill me: 3 times!

It seemed like a good start with the option of a bestiary, searching for survivors and hunting monsters but it turned out to be sadly linear. A few clicks got all the survivors back to your base, which seemed to have no effect on the game. Then it was just click a few linear links to finish the game.
If the hunting was turned into a mini game of the story was padded out more it could be good, I'll wait to see the sequel/ ending.

pretty good.

Why?This made me feel physically sick :/

Good plot and writing

good game I like the storyline

Good game. Is there a sequel?

this is kinda rubbish

One word: WHY! 3/8

I don't get the point of it. Could barely read, speeling mistakes, and no point in having items if ya can't use them. I don't like this story.

what's the point of the items? You don't use 'em. No point to this story at all. Atalll!!!!!! plus, don't you know grammar?!?!!?!?

Hey guys, ignore the password... decided to take that out... and yall guys are right i will rethink the plot for the sequel... well... thank yall... peace :p

Signed in blood not ink:
John (or sacreir :p)

With some improvement this could be a brilliant game. Just give the player more choices. CHOICES. DECISIONS. Also, you need to make it longer.

Some more descriptive writing would be nice too.

It's awesome!!!

Not bad. Not bad at all. You did a nice job incorporating variables and items. But, uh, why is a pistol/revolver better than a katana? Katanas are made the strongest steel in the world! I mean, just call it a pocket knife or something. Whatever, just a stupid nit-pick. Anyway, great job.

2/8. There is no point to your items, because you can lie and say you have a sniper, shotgun or magnum. The plot needs to be re-thought, the grammar licked ape nuts, and you need to think about ways to make your items a little more important and useful.

Kisses,
DS :)

thanks dude... im working on the sequel right now, do not tell the password (if you finished the game with the final ending)

well, youve got links, items, and even some writing ability here. but your biggest challenge is setting and depth. i knew little of what was going on. set up some background next time. but great effort.

i have to admit that even as the dude who made this, it sucks donkey balls, but who says the sequel isnt gunna be better?