Player Comments on Jurgen the warrior

NO GOOD ENDINGS?!

Is there any good endings? My horse killed me and I was killed by an orc- I don't know- 100 times?

I was super confused as to what I was even doing. I thought I was supposed to be going to kill a dragon but it ended with me sleeping at the Inn? Not sure what's going on and the frequent spelling errors didn't help.

bull crap

So a horse kicked me in the face, huh? Well... Did I die? Or did I lose because my once beautiful face now smells like horse?

I could give a list of reasons why this game sucks ass, so I'll just leave it in point form.

-Not enough words per page
-Stupid, random deaths
-First option can get you killed
-No plot (barely even a story)
-No characters (just people)
-Horrible description
-With the little words contained within the story, about 15% of them are grammar/spelling mistakes or typos.

Conclusion: MORE GODDAMN EFFORT, MAN!

I WILL Say it again!!! The worst thing I hate seeing are immediate end game links!

You really could with injecting more descriptions into this storygame. It would bring it to life a little. As it is, it's really bland because I can't get a good image of the characters, scenery or anything else. You could have made this a sci-fi story instead by changing barely any words, it's that lacking in descriptive detail. It could have easily just been:
orc -> Martian
knight -> marines
sword -> plasma blade
Whitefall -> Planet Wetaeya
etc., etc.

Your choices often lead to really unsatisfying and lame one-sentence deaths. It's frustrating when you're suddenly killed by an orc for no apparent reason or a horse inexplicably kicks you just because the author can't be arsed to elaborate. That's certainly what it felt like. If you look at good storygames on this site it will go into more detail and explain why your character died, which makes it interesting to read and not at all an annoyance.

Your lack of explanation about the world of Skyrim/Elder Scrolls makes this unenjoyable for those not familiar with the setting. Then again, maybe it makes no difference when it's so non-descript about everything. And what the hell is the YMCA doing in this place?

What the **** is this!

Why can't i just say hi to the orc?!?!?!?!?!

Very short, not good at all. In terms of descriptions.

Game over links on the first page ...? =\

The anachronism is horrific and you can't even finish your quest. There is no characterization and the name of the frickin' city you're going to changes. I hate to do this, but this game is utter garbage and I am giving you a 1/8.

The anachronism is horrific and you can't even finish your quest. There is no characterization and the name of the frickin' city you're going to changes. I hate to do this, but this game is utter garbage and I am giving you a 1/8.

This is absolute...
Bullshit.

Um... well... I don't really know how to start off my criticizing, so I'll be back (hopefully).

P.S. Use better grammar!

Wow. I go to say goodbye to my family and a random orc kills me for no reason. What.

First off, this story should be placed in Fan Fiction since this is obviously based off Skyrim. Also I think the choices are illusions here, each time it's "choose this or you die." The story is fine but needs some expansion, also that whole Y.M.C.A part just threw me completely off. The most redeemable part of this story is your grammar, which is refreshing to see after the stories that have been popping up.

It wasn't bad for a first story game. Some of the choices didn't really make any sense, such as if you choose to say goodbye to your family you get killed, but if you don't, you say goodbye to them anyway and survive. Also I don't think they had the Y.M.C.A back in medieval times. Still, your spelling and grammar seems good and I'm sure you can do better with time and effort.