Player Comments on Odysseus and Polyphemus
why was there only an 'end game' link on one ending?
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crystalpenguin
on 11/5/2023 5:31:06 PM with a score of 0
creative and cute
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— Patrick on 9/29/2023 4:29:55 AM with a score of 0
:)
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— Leanne on 9/29/2023 3:04:20 AM with a score of 0
Needs improvement but still fun!
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— Marc O'Donovan on 9/29/2023 3:02:41 AM with a score of 0
Good work for a school project!
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— Stefanie ODonovan on 9/29/2023 2:58:45 AM with a score of 0
I, too, would ignore the angry cyclops in the cave for the lure of cheese and food.
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Suranna
on 9/27/2023 11:28:43 PM with a score of 0
Brotha keep this SLOP to yourself, you just put this story in your own words... making it more shit. Least make an alternate choice to the real story.
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GhostCatt
on 9/27/2023 12:09:32 PM with a score of 0
Since everyone has already said some words about your suboptimal spelling, let me have some remarks about the character Odysseus and especially the ending.
Of all the Greek heroes, Odysseus was always my favorite.
Odysseus in the original myth is a very smart and confident, but also a cocky guy and how he handled the encounter with the cyclops at the end will earn him the ire of Poseidon (the reason why it took him so long to reach Ithaca in the first place).
It was sad that this side of his personality didn't shine in the story. You could've made him much more observant to showcase his wit and show him boasting and revealing his name when he outwitted the cyclops.
When I was reading this story, I felt that this was the main reason why it felt a bit off. Plus I do think that Odysseus should have been worrying about his wife and son more, in the end of the odyssee he literally killed all of her suitors with a stone face. In a way I think that he still very much cared about his family and is probably worried sick about them. The ancient Greeks probably have very different values from us, but showing this worry will help you humanize him for a modern audience.
Also, Odysseus also had lots of companions that traveled with him before his chip got utterly wrecked. I think that in this story you could've done more research for some of them to make the story a bit more lived in. It will probably make the interactions with the cyclops also more interesting. Plus you can really use that opportunity to paint a clear contrast between Odysseus and his men and what makes Odysseus different and in other ways similar to them.
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How to present choices: you really don't have to tack numbers onto them or paste them onto the main text. You could've left it out. The link tells us enough.
If you want to offer these choices in the text itself, then weave them into the narrative. Odysseus is a thinker right? Make him contemplate and weigh in the benefits or disadvantages of each choice. Easy peasy. It's also very much in character.
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Darius_Conwright
on 9/26/2023 12:30:03 PM with a score of 0
Ummm...you tried? It wasn't that good. It wasn't that good and the descriptions were practically nonexistant. The whole story felt bland and it was linear. Not kinda linear. All the way linear. If you chose the wrong one, go back because you died. Not very fun or a good game for the site you published it on. Take this advice: take a longer time to make a good story with ACTUAL branching than making a small time one with no good things to speak of.
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FnaFKing
on 9/26/2023 12:08:47 PM with a score of 0
From the first page, I regretted clocking on the link for this story. The second sentence isn’t even capitalized- either you didn’t proofread this at ALL or you have been cheating on every English assignment since kindergarten.
By the way, you can put the choices AS the link names, since this seems to be unknown information to you. You could’ve figured this out by reading so much as ONE singular story on this site.
Also, give me my end game links. Thank God there’s now a “rate & comment” button, so your incompetence doesn’t waste too much of everyone’s time.
I’m not saying you should never write again, but how about next time you try just a little harder. There’s just nothing to praise about any of the roughly twelve words in this short little waste of energy.
1/8, if there was a lower rating I would use it.
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fresh_out_the_oven
on 9/26/2023 10:25:13 AM with a score of 0
Okay, rated a big fat ONE out of Eight for the fact that choices railroad you into the proper one out of two chojce anyways. If I get an option to sail away, I expect to get an end game link, damnnit.
Also the punctuation was atrocious. Try harder. This is CYS!
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corgi213
on 9/26/2023 10:08:26 AM with a score of 0
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