crystalpenguin, The Contributor

Member Since

11/10/2022

Last Activity

2/4/2023 10:03 PM

EXP Points

179

Post Count

103

Storygame Count

0

Duel Stats

3 wins / 5 losses

Order

Sage

Commendations

24

hello from Procrastination City

 

my name has been shortened to 'crystalpeng' and I do not like it. please if you are going to refer to me as something other than my full username let it be 'cry' as that is the attitude with which I approach writing (you may also use the slightly longer, but still grammatically correct, 'crys')

 

also I draw badly sometimes. fast, but really badly.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points

Storygames

Bakcup
unpublished

speed write dump

the score marks how much you experienced, for example if you don't do anything you'll get a 0. Courageous acts and learning about the world give you points


Recent Posts

Prompt Contest Progress Thread on 2/2/2023 1:26:43 PM

it is the most wonderful feeling when you have ditched your story weeks ago, get a new idea, and churn out 3k in the span of three/four days


Comics!! on 2/1/2023 7:55:53 PM

it is beautiful, incredibly accurate, and heartbreaking. a true masterpiece


The Owl's Challenge - Week Five on 2/1/2023 1:16:47 PM

replace it with: 'that moose will send you to an early grave'


The Owl's Challenge - Week Five on 2/1/2023 1:12:16 PM

a lovely lovely tree

branching into sky, not sea

if you find one floating on waves

maybe you've found a moose instead. or you're hallucinating


The Owl's Challenge - Week Five on 1/31/2023 2:07:13 PM

I read Alpharune by Imadgalaxy and was so angered I had to share my thoughts with the internet. I still have it, but it's not insulting enough, so below I have summarized my thoughts on the storygame.

 

The story is repetitive and boring. A semi-promising start (a good idea, I suppose, though riddled with bad grammar, formatting, and description), but an incredibly disappointing story. After the seventh link I started just clicking through it without even looking, because I knew it would be the same continuous drivel. I honestly feel sorry for the creator of this game, because they probably spent several months writing so many words, and it turned out to be dull, two-dimensional, pointless, and linear, not to mention the inconsistent tense. The level of detail varies, sometimes spending a whole paragraph to describe one animal, and sometimes mentioning an important plot point (not that there are any) only in passing. The sentences are either too short or use an abhorrent amount of commas, which makes the story seem to crawl by at a snail's pace when coupled with the varying amounts of description. Items were included in the game, for a reason I cannot discern as they are useless ninety percent of the time and illogical in their use for the other ten percent. A beautiful example of this is the rock: you pick it up and aren't able to use it as a weapon, because its destined use is...to be thrown at prison bars and make them collapse. Just...why? In what world, during what part of this twenty-five-thousand word story does this make sense?

 

Moving on to the plot: It's bad. The premise could be carried out well, though it's very cliché: some random dude walks up to you and tells you that you must save the world by collecting a bunch of things on a bunch of different planets. On each planet you gain a 'friend', who you have to leave at the end of the chapter. Predictable and repetitive, the story drags on forever. It feels like you're supposed to care about the characters, but that's a task more difficult than defeating the 'big boss' since they're all either 'rugged' or suck-ups to the main character. Each and every character, including yourself, the antagonists, and the monsters, is boring, flat, and lacking a personality. The most interesting character through all the planets was some alien cultist that hermited itself in a cave. Really says something about the story when that's the character with the most personality.

 

Choices are sprinkled throughout the story, but there's only a few that truly matter, and the only way to really 'win' is to try every choice until you aren't dead. It's said that consequences come of killing, but it doesn't make a difference whether you murder every monster you come across or not, it doesn't affect you at all. No choice makes an effect on the future except for the 'live or die' ones, which have no context as to which one will lead you to success. The most striking example of this was in chapter 3, where upon landing on the new planet you have the choice of whether to kill or spare a few random forest creatures. Soon after, you are captured by a chief of a tribe, and accused of upsetting the balance of the forest's ecosystem, whether or not you killed the animals or not. Two choices are given to you, with the exact same wording, and one of them leads to death while the other lets you continue. It was incredibly disappointing as I thought that the previous choice would make a difference, yet it doesn't change a thing.

 

Overall, Alpharune was long, boring, meaningless, cliché, and a complete waste of time. I do not recommend reading it (not that you can, since its creator has deleted it in shame.)


drawing to drown out the sadness on 1/27/2023 4:17:06 PM

if I show the proof I think I'll be double cursed though


drawing to drown out the sadness on 1/27/2023 3:31:41 PM

please explain how exactly a cursed individual may become uncursed. Specifically this curse


drawing to drown out the sadness on 1/27/2023 11:48:25 AM

portrait of you


drawing to drown out the sadness on 1/27/2023 11:33:17 AM

thank you thank you thank you


drawing to drown out the sadness on 1/27/2023 12:25:00 AM

I cannot explain this, I just know that I wanted to share it