Player Comments on One Tiny but Mighty Pilchangk Adventure

This is a rather odd game. Clearly some significant work has been put into the prose and the art (which is pretty cute), and there is an okay amount of gauntlet-style branching, with some looping, for a "three"-length game.

I was particularly struck by how *introspectvie* some of the choices were--sitting and thinking, or looking at myself in the mirror, or coming to terms with my deepest self--these don't obviously lend themselves to an exploration choice game, but they are given a lot of love and detail and description here, to the point that I wasn't quite sure if this storygame wanted to be something more about reflection and less about taking a journey.

It was particularly odd considering that the art is so cute and sort of primitive and that this is clearly about baby Yoda. On the one hand, I wanted the choices to be more meaningul and interesting, but on the other hand, I really appreciated the author's willingness to consider choices about thought and reflecting (even though they don't really end up going anywhere.)

I think this author has a great deal of potential. The descriptions were often quite vivid, and there were even a few moments of (fleeting) emotion evoked. I'd like to see what this author could do with a well-developed, charted out cave of time style story instead this one, which ends up sort of dithering around, unfortunately, and offers choices that are too obvious, usually, to be interesting. Keep writing. I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with.

At first pass, this was a decent and amusing little story, reasonably well written as far as spelling and grammar go. The settings were clearly described and I had a sense of place as I moved from location to the next. By taking a series of decisive actions, I reached what I considered to be a good-but-inconclusive ending.

But on a second pass, I quickly figured out that there is not much of a branching structure to this storygame. Yes, there are choices aplenty, but they are not particularly good ones. For the most part, each triplet of choices can be described as:

- Do something timid.
- Sit and think.
- Take a decisive action, indulge your curiosity, or examine the obviously tempting item.

Either these options lead to an ending, or they loop through pages of intriguing imagery that ultimately mean nothing to the story. The correct action should be abundantly clear, and so only deliberate stubbornness would cause the reader to choose poorly after a certain point in the story.

And so after finding no better ending, I soon realized that the first one I had read was actually the main ending. This was something of a disappointment, as it didn't really conclude any story arcs. I knew as much as I did on the first page, but now I was in a different location. The End.

So we have someone who can write very competently, as far as the technical aspects of stringing words together into sentences and paragraphs go, but is less polished when it comes to stories and storygames.

For a good story, the main character needs to undergo some kind of a change (physical, emotional, spiritual, experiential, etc.) and come out the other end as a changed person.

For a good storygame, the choices should be more consequential, and lead to a greater range of possibilities. I feel like that this story, as it is currently written, is just one of several potential branches for a larger and more satisfying storygame.

I’m pretty happy that I got to play through this story. I find it quite charming.
For those of you who aren’t falling into the Grand Disney Monopoly, this little gem is based off The Madalorian. Imagine a spacey Clint Eastwood but now there’s a baby Yoda strapped to his chest. Except for apparently a baby Yoda is actually called a Plchangk (I only knew that because of the title, so it’s educational!)
The problem is that I’m not up-to-date with The Mandolorian, so I have no idea if this is an adaptation of an episode or not. I couldn’t tell if I’d ended the story happy, or just blissfully unaware of my own demise. I ended up locked in a box with my provisions, waiting for my Clint Eastwood in shining armor to find me again….But I ended up playing through a few more times to see if there was another way. There isn’t. I think. If you haven’t caught up to the show, you might be slightly confused. It might be best to slap the “Fanfiction” tag on it, or at least mention what it’s based on in the description.
The descriptions are well done and have that tinge of sweet sweet innocence in them, as one would expect from a Baby Yoda. Even some of the death routes had me smile at how Baby congratulated himself for putting in the effort. You CAN die, very easily even-- But Baby is pretty darn niave about it.
I don’t know what others will say, but screw ‘em. The pictures are very adorable and I’d like to imagine Baby himself drew ‘em. It’s clear you put effort into this.
There are only a few spelling mistakes (“Thru” on climb the embankment) but nothing that’s really a bother. A short, cute story. Perhaps add the “Fanfiction” tag for good measure.

Drawings are adorable

The pictures really gave this a storybook like feel. I would say this was a rather creative effort at a story-game. In this instance, I'm not only interested in how the writer can improve their writing for any next potential endeavor, but their art skills as well.

Not bad, and pretty interesting as well.