puddlebunni, The Wordsmith
Game dev with a heart of gold. A solid believer that sparkles make everything just a tad better. CYS's self-proclaimed least favorite little orphan.
I'm trying to write more often, so I really appreciate any and all feedback. Also I do art stuff on my twitter, which is a great place to get brain damage.
>>I am reskinning the entirety of Elona+ for some ungodly reason. It just seems like the right thing to do! It is titled the NUTTY NEET edit.
- 50% portraits complete
- OST complete
Nen! It's the energy of life! You've trained for years and finally it's time for your super awesome Water Divination Hatsu test! Find out your Hatsu and make Sensei proud, kiddo.
For those of you who don't know, Hatsu and Nen and all that are from this great thing called Hunter X Hunter. You don't have to know HXH stuff to play, but just say'n. Also, this is my first story game (not counting that middle finger to WC a while back) and I wanted to make a cool personality test. You may have multiple paths, so feel free to do whatever. I think martial arts look cool. Have fun!
Recent PostswOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 5:05:13 PM
Hiya Mizal! I'm gonna go through this, respectfully, so let's get this bread. I doubt anything will change and everyone will continue calling me a faggot but unfortunately for them, I like being called a faggot. It gives me power. It's such a fun word. Is it a kink? Who knows. Resuming getting that bread.
- "But it might help you to understand if you occasionally interacted with a normal person and didn't see the entire world in terms of extremes and of people who should/shouldn't be allowed to exist."
I don't know how the red line quote thing you do works, so we'll be working ike this. And yeah, that IS how the world works! I don't wake up everyday thinking "man who is gonna lynch me today". In fact I am very unaware of my skin until it is pointed out. I don't constantly think of extremes. But as somebody who is not within the demographic of "normal everyday American", I am often subjected to a rude awakening. What is your definition of "normal"? My friend Johhny, a native man, recounts tales of being called "Dirty Fuckin Indian" when leaving the rez. My friend Samson still vividly remembers getting beat to shit at his Alabama school for being trans. A plane crash was being reported when my step father abruptly said "put all the queers on a plane and crash it, it'd be doing God's work". Look, I don't wake up in the morning looking to get slapped in the face with this stuff. But it happens. Because some people view others as targets and they're ready as hell to shoot. I do interact with a wide array of people! But unfortunately this IS normalcy. We live in the same world but we are seeing different parts of it. https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2019/04/09/race-in-america-2019/
- "Isolating yourself from your family only makes sense to me if they were actually abusive or something. (I didn't read the big text wall of your sad life story so maybe they were.)"
Lmao, sorry about that one! I got very fired up. I was basically saying that while I am young I do have experience in working, although I'm sure not as much as many other people here. I do have an abusive household, I've lived with extremely right-wing people all my life who openly talk about me in a very bad light due to my race. Despite my acheivements, I am not worth the time of day. So it's pretty epic that I ditched them as soon as possible!<3
- "Humans are complex enough that "character and beliefs" comes down to a lot more than just whatever political message they accepted after it was carefully packaged and labeled and fed to them."
You're right! But if I were to vote for Trump, that means I'm supporting his cause. That means I'm supporting my neighbor getting deported, that I'm supporting the ugly words he says. Does everybody who support Trump support rape? No freaking way! But they are still holding him up, still backing him, and that kind of ignorance is the kind that hurts people.
- "But ignorance isn't the unpardonable sin, and half the time the asshole boomers I hear repeating the same talking point they saw on Fox all day are the first ones to step up and help someone when they need it."
I take back a little something I said. I haven't cut off one particular set of MAGA supporters: My grandparents from my adoptive family. They are very kind to me, and I am kind to them. We have a good time. It still is deeply upsetting to hear them regurgitate harmful nonsense at the family dinner, though. Things that genuinely hurt people in real life. They are sweet, but their ignorance doesn't exactly excuse the harm their ideology causes.
- "I know everyone is addicted to being angry now and the internet magnifies this a thousand times, but it's interesting to me that the left has rejected the idea of 'tolerance' altogether after so many years of claiming they were the sole source of it."
I brought this up when talking to the ninja guy. Don't let a wolf into a field of sheep. The people we aren't tolerating are literally racists who don't want us to exists. You have to shut that stuff down before it grows. I'm confused as to what you want me to say here, because the answer seems really obvious. There are people who want to kill us, and we don't think that's cool. And I guess some people really think us saying no to these guys is bad thing...?
- "humans are always going to have more in common at the most basic level than anything keeping them apart."
It's true. But real shit? Not everybody sees people like that. The KKK in that Daryl Davis interiew literally says that black people have a latent violence gene. These hate groups see others as somehow less than human. There is an actual history of scientist fudging numbers to show that black people are less intelligent than white people. Natives are regularly refered to as savages. This subtle language seems like a joke, right? But it's indicitive of a culture that view some people as people and some people as others. I can garuntee you that the white guy that told me to get out of town did not see me as an equal person.
- "Everybody in the world sees themselves as the noble underdog hero of their own epic story, refusing to even try to understand them is a failure of basic empathy and slams doors shut that never needed to be. And cutting yourself off from people just leaves them to their echo chamber and removes any chance that they'll ever have a reason to reexamine any idea they have."
You're right here too. It's important to look at other views, to analyse your own, and to be highly critical of both. I am half white. I have lived with white people. I do not hate white people. They are people, so I am truly no different from them. But I can see the ugly underneath, the folks who say I shouldn't be there, that I should never have been born. And then I see my mother, a true blonde blue-eyed damsel laugh awkwardly when Uncle Kenny asks if I've washed enough with all that sand in my skin.
I am half african. I have lived with colored children. We have fun with the white kids too, running around the jungle gym and rattling off naughty spanish slang we learned from each other. It is fun and diverse and the food is cheap and good. But I can see the ugly underneath when a mother tells my neighbor to learn the fucking language (and she does) at a student teacher conference.
You're saying the right things. You're asking for empathy. I'm asking for empathy but nobody will give it because we are lying, we are making it up, we are annoying and baseless and maybe if we just shut the fuck up and sat still and were good little niggers we wouldn't get shot in the street. We are begging for understanding. This entire conversation people have been calling me faggot (my favorite word) and saying "if they didn't act like savages". How can we be empathetic and kind when the other half of the conversation refuses to look us in the eye? To even attempt to put themselves in our shoes? CYS is very much an echo chamber and even as I bring my point, i've been yet to be met with any kind of respectful answer (I guess you, Mizal, but you seem really put off for some reason). I don't mind all the words. It's just difficult to see a site I grow up with with writers I admire talk in such a way. I'm happy to recommend reading on colored people's experiences, if anybody wants to shoot me a dm.
Ah, how long winded! I expect you skip all that. My hands hurt a lot, you know. I blame you, even though this was my own decision to write this! I admit i'm a little sad as well. You encouraged me to write, and I was a bit depressed but I did it because somebody appreciated it, so I'll be always thankful for that. I'm afraid I can't sit well with these views. Nothing I can do to change them. It is hot out today so I will take a break and eat some edemame. Fake virtual money on you calling me a faggot again <3
wOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 4:15:26 PM
Aw shit. Looks like I have things to work through. I forgot to take my anti-racism pills this morning. I have the urge to draw extremely offensive Jewish caricatures right now...
i said i wouldn't respond but what the fuck. on 7/27/2020 4:03:26 PM
noooooooo mizal pleaaaaaaaaase no i want to hear it. Me (an autist) has been arguing with this other guy (a bigger autist) and honestly i want to hear it. I'm having fun but I'm also learning a ton about the "harmless" racism ingrained into everyday life. I beg for text wall.
Also I have no clue why me explaining my experiences would make me so great and noble. OTL I'm just giving background for my viewpoint. So you can feel free to poke holes in that.
i said i wouldn't respond but what the fuck. on 7/27/2020 4:00:15 PM
we throw wonderbread soaked in whole milk at him. we shout "go white boy, go" alas, he is chained. he cannot go. the suffering continues. back to going back to corgi with the weather.
wOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 3:58:17 PM
Gah, I keep digging myself a hole! I feel like I'm falling down an abyss of internet shittery. What mistake this all is. But I'm fired up, so I guess I might as well~!
And also! I like you, Cricket. But now I'm scared. I reeeeally hope my reading comprehension has taken a flight to Jamaica, I really hope I'm reading this threaded view all wrong, I really hope this doesn't say what I think it says. I really hope you're not saying that if colored people stopped "acting like damn savages" they wouldn't get lynched. That these hate groups wouldn't exist if us damn colored bloods wouldn't stop niggerin' up the place. I really hope I'm reading this all wrong. Please confirm I am reading this wrong.
i said i wouldn't respond but what the fuck. on 7/27/2020 3:52:22 PM
No, that's the exact reading of it. You said it is necessary to sacrifice for a higher, more noble purpose. That purpose being to redeem fully grown white men who hunt my people for sport. You literally said it's our responsibility to end racism. You're saying that sometimes colored people have to die to make sure white guys stop being in the KKK. That's what you're saying.
Look, I don't know if you're white or brown or what, but it doesn't even matter at this point because you clearly have no idea what it's like to be in danger for not being wonder bread.
i said i wouldn't respond but what the fuck. on 7/27/2020 3:40:10 PM
so you're literally saying the lives of my people is worth the redemption of yours
wOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 3:06:31 PM
He's a respectable man. But there is a very real danger of so much as interacting with Klan members. This man is clever, he's talented, and most of all he's lucky. Are you telling me, a young colored person to walk into a Klan meeting, stand up and say "I think we all gotta hold hands a little" and chill out over ribs? Do you know the violence these people enact? Do you know the gangs of Proud Boys that beat the shit out a black kid in my town until he took his own life? It is kind. It is compassionate. But it is a beautiful miracle that is even happened, a miracle that he did not get hurt, a miracle that they did not come after him first. I'm afraid you're painfully niave about many things. I don't know your background or if you have ever been spit on by a fully grown white man before for having a little more melanin than the average bloke, but to have the audacity to tell somebody at risk of being killed to walk up to the killer and make it their responsibility to save them....You are relinquishing the other party of their responisibility. That's all I'll respond to you with, I know I seem very angry but it's quite a blow to see people with such a light-hearted disposition when it comes to a subject where they are most likely not the ones at risk.
wOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 2:51:43 PM
...I hope you know I am very against these things? Of course these things have shaped my life, because they are very real groups that exist today. I remember being told to leave a certain part of town because of my camel jockey roots, and not understanding what that meant (mind you this is more East, in those small hick white towns with all the farmin' and whatnot). I refuse to treat hateful people with compassion because doing so is to allow people with the intent of destroying you into a community that is meant to be safe. You do not let your dog into the chicken pen. I don't know what else to say, but as somebody who has been hurt by these practices, I am completely justified in this line of thinking. I am very aware that my upbringing has shaped my views and it has allowed me to see the ugly side of small towns and everyday life that need to be changed. Are you telling me I should be kind to... Klan members?
wOrLdS SaDdEsT sToRy on 7/27/2020 2:25:57 PM
I'm sorry, I hope I'm reading this correctly. Protests certainly have their own issues but the issues are vastly different from those plagueing the police system (the corruption, provoking of violence to create crime, tampering with evidence etc etc)
I'm afraid saying "most people get along just fine" is a very niave thing to say. Are you refering to the racist/political issues of today? I have no reason to believe you would treat me indecently. I'm sure you are a very fine person. But you being a fine person does not fix the underlying problem of what we are protesting. You being kind to me does not fix the fact that people are getting lynched, that my hometown is a hub for Proud Boys, that my uncle is very proud of his Klan ring, that my best friend was threatened to be killed for walking down the street. If you are refering to political issues, it's best to think of it like this: Give them inch and they'll take a mile. Maybe your neighbor is nice and peachy but if he's proud of his Nazi flag, don't tolerate it. If he claims that the confederate flag is a part of his heritage, don't tolerate it. I don't keep in contact with members of my family who are pro-MAGA because the movement is reflective of their character and beliefs. It's one thing to simply have coffee, say, with a friend who has a different view with you but it's another to tolerate harmful beliefs that essentially say certain types of people should not exist simply because of what they were born with.
The BLM movement was peaceful (taking a knee, petitions) but very little was done at that point.
Again, I'm sorry if I misread you so feel free to bash my internet skull in if I took this completely the wrong way. I hope this makes sense.