???: .-..-. .. / ... . . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / - .... .- - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / -.-. .- .-. . -.. .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. . ..-. - / -- . / -... . .... .. -. -.. .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. . ..-. - / -- . / - --- / .-. --- - .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / .-- .... -.-- .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / .-- .... -.-- / -.. .. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- / .. - .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / .-- .... -.-- / -.. .. -.. -. .----. - / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. .. ... - . -. / - --- / -- . .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- ..--.. / -. --- .-- --..-- / .-.. --- --- -.- / .-- .... . .-. . / - .... .- - / .-.. . -.. / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.- / .-.-.- .-.-.- .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .-. . .- .-.. .-.. -.-- / .--- ..- ... - / .-.. .. -.- . / - .... . / --- - .... . .-. ... .-.-.- .-..-.

Glad to see you shared something you wrote here! :D

With that being said, what are you looking to have critiqued?

Because given that its only one paragraph long, all I personally have to say is that it seems to be a consistently presented monologue of someone. There's not much to go off of is what I'm saying. The dialog feels raw but not in an overly self indulgent way, just feels like what someone would think to themselves to sort of process their own thoughts I guess.

Idk if that's what you were going for, but that's the impression I got anyways.

So yeah, what are you looking for to have critrued? I hope what I said helps/is useful in some way though! :O

EDIT: Ok, so I thought of more to say. You could consider separating the paragraph into two or three smaller ones. It really depends on what the pacing is in comparison to the rest of your novel.

I was accusing Mizal of suggesting/saying you have autism...I'm not saying that YOU do!

Don't worry though. I definitely have WAY more autism than you, despite the fact we have a decent amount in common. (You tend to wear your edginess on your sleeve whereas I tend to keep mine hidden until I deem it appropriate to share with others! :P)

Do you have ADHD though? Maybe...but honestly who cares! About 50% of the people here at least aren't super social anyways so it really doesn't mean much at the end of the day!

lol :P

You can't edit a post after someone's replied to it unless you have magical mod powers silly! :P

I realized I did that stupid overstuffed paragraph thing again and was going to shorten my points to make what I said more readable.

Now I can't... :(

At least I'm catching it more quickly/accurately now!

lol :P

The kid won't learn anything if they don't understand why they are being disciplined in the first place/why it matters. If anything, its just making the deadline sooner. Instead of "Oh shoot! I need to finish my homework so my teacher doesn't get mad!" its "Oh shoot! I need to finish my homework a day in advance so my mom doesn't get mad!". Once you become independent, you start to view things more in terms of purpose and consequence (obviously it depends on the person but hopefully you get what I'm saying here).

Procrastination being bad is kind of an overrated statement anyways. Like, its a surprisingly good way to have your time organize itself in a sense, since it logically checks that you'd want to finish something before the consequence hits as opposed to simply because you tell yourself there will be a consequence if you don't do something at a certain time.

Obviously how you should go about rewarding/punishing your kid is pretty nuanced discussion all things considered, its not black and white. I'm mainly just playing devil's advocate towards your perspective if anything! :D

lol :P

I'd like to think he's joking...but yeah...I guess it would be funnier if he wasn't! (lol :P)

a litmus test for autism

Ok now I'm curious, can you explain this? (Or is this mainly calling out Bezro and someone else maybe?) 

1. Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island and play X video game or Y video game?

2. Same as above but replace the deserted island with someone pointing a gun to your head.

3. Would you rather be a bird, fish or lizard?

4. Would you rather be trapped in a virtual reality that's a paradise or rule over one with other people in it that's post apocolyptic/a hellscape of sorts? (Basically you taking on the role of a Dark Lord and you can't step away from the role) The important difference between the two is that in one your alone and the other you are not, despite everything about the first one being better than the second one otherwise.

I could probably think of more, but in terms of unique stuff, that's whats on the top of my head.

I do have to wonder if you plan to make up any scenarios on your own or if your purely just using suggestions on this thread. Because give how many responses you got, I can only imagine how many you would be able to come up with if you tried, given that this is your project so you should be the most motivated to come up with ideas for it.

I'm looking forward to reading this if you ever end up finishing it! Good luck writing it! :D

Oh ok.

I think it looks pretty good then! It weirdly suits you pretty well all things considered! (I do look forward to the hand drawn image if you ever get around to that though. No pressure or anything though!)

lol :P

Is this Ai generated or did you just search up a picture of a penguin reading a book?