Player Comments on The Annihilation (part one)

Pretty interesting. The action certainly provided a bit of a thrill, but I couldn't help but be confused about certain things. Like why isn't everybody acting more surprised about the fact that there are suddenly killer robots among us? How is it that Aliyah is so good at fighting those robots?

Some more information on certain things would've been appreciated, even if it's just the start of a bigger adventure.

The pictures were rather jarring at times too. I know that some of the scenes were supposed to be serious and dramatic, but the art would sometimes lessen the tone of certain scenes. It didn't detract too much from my enjoyment of everything though.

Overall, this game was pretty decent. The writing wasn't bad and the action scenes were pretty fun, the drawings weren't really my taste, but it's certainly a positive that they were there to accompany the writing.

not that good

Spoilers below.


Despite my criticism, I would like to say you did a very good job in setting the tone of the story. I found the story engaging and mostly well-written.

Characters-3/8
The main character's only personality trait was enjoying violence. The storygame immediately ended if you chose an option like surrendering. It would have been quite a bit better if she was fleshed out more, as a fight is a good situation in which to define a character’s morals.
I also did not understand why she was so overpowered during the fight. I thought it may have been in rage from Marianna’s death, but this possibility isn’t explored.
Even the main character did not seem sad when Marianna died. There needed to be a conversation, some dialogue, anything that showed, instead of told, that Marianna and Main Character were friends.

Setting-2.5/8
The setting was hardly described. The story would have felt a lot fuller and more fleshed out if more time had been spent focused on the character's surroundings.
The backstory was acceptable. America being destroyed and remade into someplace new has been overdone but could still have been good if you had worked it into the plot better. The teacher talking about America becoming Aranthi after World War IV felt more like it was there because the author needed it to be there than an actual history class. Still, I will give you credit for incorporating it into the plot somewhat.

Plot and Grammar-5/8
I only found one grammatical error, and the sentence structure was good. A small issue is that you didn’t have to write “*turn around*”. You could have just written “turn around” and it would have had the same meaning.
The plot was excessively linear. Almost any time choices were offered, one led to death, while the other continued the story. This was the biggest issue that lowered my rating.


The Drawings-1/8
The drawings distracted from the story in multiple ways. First of all, they were not…very well drawn. I don’t think you know how human anatomy works, and I’m not even going to say anything about the hands.
Besides that, you did not include any background in the drawings either, which quite contributes to the problem with there being no descriptions of the background. Also, the blood is neon red.
I think the story would work a lot better if you removed all the drawings.

In all, 4/8.

This story feels like it was written by a bored in class, lonely girl in middle school/highschool.

Also the main character is probably a mary sue. And the um...art...Let's not talk about that.

I've got nothing else to say. Stay away from the garbage folks.

Um, at first I was going to comment to say that the pictures were bad - but then they got REALLY creepy and started to scare me. It's like they were drawn by one of those creepy girls in horror movies who goes on a killing spree. After that I just couldn't concentrate on the story.

Oh, and your writing is good too. That art, though. It scarred me.

Cute story. Benjamin and I survived. {3

Quite short, but the illustrations made it so much more interesting. The plot was ok, although I thought the characters were not described well enough for me to really feel too much for them. But all in all, 5/8. Good job.

I survived with Benjamin! :)

I didn't really like the pictures. They kind of distracted me from the story.

Why is this girl a bad ass...?
Who is this guy...?
Why are killer robots not a huge shock...?
Why the period period period...?
I'm sorry, but this needs a lot of expansion before it gets good.

Good story. I survived, though no one (except ol' Ben) survived with me. Looking forward to seeing more.

Amazing cant wait to see part 2

I survived without using the back button even ONCE! I learned that girls with blades are dangerous. Who knew?

Everyone died, including me..

Ummm... my name is Jasper btw is it you're first? it's really good.

There is no big. I didn't see some text. Sorry.

It doesn't have too many choices - it gets irritating to click the ... button and it doesn't deserve the difficulty rating. When I spit into the robots face, on the next page Benjamin is there and the robot is gone. A bug?

The writing was done well. The plot was fine, though I found myself wondering whether there was any possible way to lose. The pics... I wasn't sure what to make of them. They were hilarious, which is good, but the story itself was not hilarious. It was a mis-match.

Although the plot is nicely well done, you haven't elaborated much on certain events (like why? who? how? what?!).

While the writing was above average, the art work distracted from the story. While the story was not meant as a comedy, the drawing made me laugh, due to their odd design.

Good story. The illustrations added a different feel to it; I had trouble placing "my" character's age because of it.

Not sure if I chose the right path, or all paths will lead me here.

Pretty good game. Am looking forward to part 2. Got to say though, the art did kind of distract from the game for me. I think I might have gotten more into the character's emotions if the sad parts of the game weren't accompanied by little cartoons of a girl looking sad.

Good writing. A couple mistakes, in grammar and spelling, but you can't be perfect. I agree with someone below, though; she seems to become a killing machine a bit too quickly.

5/8

i really like this and I will definitely play the second episode. Did you draw those pictures?

Some good writing in here. One minor irritant that I found was that when you have the choice to 'spit' or 'stay silent' you spit either way. It's not a big thing, but it did give me the impression of being forced, even in such a small matter.
Also, I found that the main character fell into the sadistic role a little too easily, even after all she saw.

Quirky, but at original, and takes the whole 'zombie Apocalypse’ thing in a new (non-zombie) direction. Not bad at all :)