Player Comments on The Plot - Strange, Dark & Mysterious Collection

I think you may be a bit confused on how the genre works.

Just read through it a little more carefully, it reads like a true crime podcast. To make it into a cys I recommend either having a detective solve the crime by discovering various clues and interviewing witnesses or put the reader in the shoes of one of the perpetrators with a series of choices of level of involvement with varying consequences. It's a bit factual, dry and unemotional but very detailed (well-researched?), though with pacing issues.

Wow, this was an odd story for the site. First, it's not a cys, it's a prose piece so it will be unpublished, you should post this on the Forums in the Creative Corner for feedback because it looks like you put a fair amount of effort into it. Secondly your paragraphs are too long, making it look more like an essay than a story. I recommend 5 sentences per paragraph though 3-7 are fine too. I notice some of your sentences run on quite a bit too.

Thirdly, is this based on a true story? It seems so. There are a lot of facts and information. It is possible to turn true stories into cys (see the Edutainment and Historical sections) but it can be tricky. Also, the story isn't very reader-friendly or accessible and rather than slog through it I guess most readers won't even bother. Essentially the structure of the story is so unappealing most readers wouldn't even bother trying to tackle the content.

Don't be disheartened though, because you put a lot of effort into this. Read the comments, fix the structure and either alter this into a genuine cys or try something entirely new within the same genre. Use the feedback as an opportunity to improve your story structuring :)

Uhhhh. No comment

It's perfectly valid to look at the number of linear walls strung together and rate it just based on that. Besides being incomplete and not really what the site is for anyway, this story aggressively rejects attempts to read it.

But even after wading through the first page, having ever inane detail of Rachel's life droned at me without variance in tone made me kinda want to murder her myself.

The author has been around a bit too long to fall back on the usual noob excuses, his previous accounts were from 2021. I don't really know what to say to them at this point except, honestly just look at the other games on the site and see the things they do differently that do not leave readers reacting in this way.

Damn, this makes me feel really bad. There's no choices, there's too many walls of text. But it is 7k words. I didn't read any of it, but it looks like there was a decent amount of effort put into it.

So I'm sad to give it a 1.

It’s really quite impressive that you went onto a site intended for choose-your-own-adventure type storygames and then proceeded to publish a completely linear story.

You appear to not understand what an enter key is. The size of paragraphs is bordering on unreadable and none of the dialogue is followed by a paragraph break.

I’m also honestly not sure why you chose to write the story of Rachel Burkheimer’s murder with some of the names changed by a few letters.

In any case, you get a 1.

I think you forgot the choices?