The White Face

Well, you put some time and effort into it. That's obvious.

But I really feel like parts were lazy and thrown together, as if you felt the need to publish it right away and rushed some of it.

I really love and hate the story at the same time, because there were few choices and somewhat abrupt endings, but at the same time the writing was very good and I would want to read more from the author.

And while the choices were few, there was quite a lot of reading. This makes the storygame more story then game, and that might take away from your ratings a bit.

There were also grammar errors, and not just one or two. Closer proofreading is gonna help you a lot in storygame writing.

Like DEP said, expand. Add more branches and overall choices, and this storygame could be much greater then it currently is.

I'm gonna say 3/8. I hope you take this constructive critisism and improve your writing :)

Even though the paragraphs were large and I see you've spent some time writing, the many grammatical errors make it look like you rushed. Take your time, develop the story more, and remember to go back and edit. It's an excellent idea, but there's room for improvement.

goosebumps, you are a good writer. You need to spend some more time expanding your storyline before posting a story though... There isn't much of a story here, you just go to the water and check out a ship and then the story ends after you do one or two things.

Go to the ship, shoot someone, die - this is not a story.

Go to the ship, shoot someone, barely escape, lead an raid on the white-man, battle ensues, win or lose the battle, the after effect of the battle - this is a story.

Expand on what you have, and what you will have is gold.

Different...

Not much story in it, to be honest. Choices are few, and mix to that too short length.

Sorry, but boring. 3/8.

NOTE: YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK SOMEONE TO PROOFREAD YOUR WRITING FOR ERRORS IN THE FUTURE. GOOD LUCK!

Not very entertaining.

I got one good ending, and one bad ending, a goodending of great flexibility, and a bad ending of certain death. It was too short, however. And failed my expectations greatly. I gave it a 3 however, even though it was short.

Kinda cool, but really short for me, and it wasnt that interesting.

Cool. I bash someone in the head, and then I get hurt "badly". This seriously lacks detail. Please add some more detail.

It was okay, very short, maybe a bit longer and it would be a pleasant story

This is the most short story I've ever played through in my entire life.