Player Comments on Wheeler & Brandt LLP

With such an over-done premise, I was expecting to laugh a parody of trashy harlequins and ended up with The Secretary II: CYOA Boogaloo. How I wish it had been the former.

The grammar and such in the story was fine. That was not an issue.
The structure of the story was quite linear. Up until the very last part, all choices either went to a premature end or had no effect on the story save a few line changes. There was also a very obviously copied and pasted part when Mr. Wheeler enters the building. Despite being on two separate days in the same branch, everything is same down to the phone conversation he has.

I did not feel sympathetic to any of the characters, save the woman’s poor family in the wedding end. If there had only been something there that made me care about what happens to these people in the story, I could have appreciated the story a bit more, but as it was, I got dull, one-dimensional faggots whose only defining traits were “smexy jackass” or “catty bitch”. They did not seem cool, they did not make me laugh, I did not have a reason to cheer for them. They were just a bunch of whiny bitches. Going over-the-top with them would have been amusing, but as they were, I really would have liked to see them do something other than be horny creeps.

There was a semi-amusing part in the “winning” end with the family wishing they were on the executioner’s block rather than watching their kin crawl down the aisle like a dog and have her jackass groom rip open her dress in front of everyone. I was coming close to feeling the same way at that point.

I feel dirty now and pray my family never finds out that I read what is essentially a fucking harlequin in the form of a linear CYOA.

All you horny spinsters out there, this one’s for you. Everyone else, just go read one of the sister fucking paths in Repression or something. That’s a better romance story than this.

Interesting warning on the initial page. Probably a needed warning these days, and a good one to put on this site. I’m glad to see the maturity level selected matches the rating. At the same time, you also freely admit that the story is linear. Well, that certainly lowers my expectations for this one.

I do like the font layout, colors, and design. It is nice to see something other than just the black on white, but of course the black on white does work, too. I was a little lost in the first two paragraphs. The story starts out talking about jobs, reasons for working, and about me. Then it mentioned two people without naming them. In the next paragraph it talks about a couple guys. Are these the same two from paragraph one? They don’t seem like it, and there doesn’t seem to be a connection between these two paragraphs. I’m not sure how to fix that, but they don’t seem related at all. Then in paragraph three, there is suddenly an “Everyone else.” I was getting the feeling there were just three people at the firm, but now there’s a whole pile more. And it is not until the end of the third paragraph do we really get to the idea that I’m attracted to him. I wonder if that’s not important enough to be earlier in the story, perhaps building from me, my job, attractions, then the firm?

There is a clear setting at this point and good descriptions. I’m still confused where “Everyone else” is because it sounds like it is just the two of us in the office. I’m not a huge fan of the link without choices, but in this case because it is another day, it works quite well. The descriptions throughout the rest of the game are good and help to immerse you in the story. You did mention the linearity of the story which becomes more obvious as you select more options. Some places the choices appeared to be the classic “death or right choice” options. Overall a well-written story, but certainly rated 7/8 maturity.

I wondered how this could be rated so low when the writing itself is above average, but then I got to clicking and this whole thing is unfortunately pretty linear. All the choices that don't end the game just very very slightly change the way the exact same events play out.

I didn't particularly care for the protagonist, in fact I was kind of rolling my eyes even at the first page what with the whole 'ooh he's so cruel and demeaning but I'm helplessly attracted to him anyway!' characterization. But at the same time I feel like if you're going to go that route and saddle us with this broke-brained whore you might as well embrace it; you probably could've gone a lot farther with this.

I did laugh out loud at the conclusion of the trial and the wedding, though.

It was enjoyably well-written and for the most part wouldn't be out of place in one of those novels you used to be able to buy at the grocery store (barring the wacky shenanigans of the wedding - that'd raise some eyebrows still I suspect).

The only thing I'd change is the background to something solid as the image in combination with the text made it a bit difficult to read at points.

how did i fail

It's the summer of '18. I'm 13 years old. I wish to spend my computer time playing choose your own adventure games. I come back to the site where I read all those weird warrior cat fanfictions. I think, "Hey! I like love stories. I'll check out some of the ones in the Love & Dating section." I click on Wheeler & Brandt LLP. I ignore the maturity level. I obtain my first exposure to BDSM. I shoot myself 3 times in the head.

its great

Love it.

Man this was something else, the writing was very good, the descriptions well enough detailed; and the intimate scenes were crafted in such a skillfull way that it was accepted by CYS standards, but at the same time, gave the feeling and atmosphere of reading an adult fiction; which I think was the main thing that stood out. This was masterfully crafter to just meet the limit of the site and not fall over, kind of at the edge of the balance. A link to this story should be give in any guide for ‘how to write adult stories without porn.’

Aside from the somewhat lack of branching, which I think is fine because there was reasonably enough of that; the story felt short. I would’ve loved to see how the chemistry between the two characters developed over time, (maybe adding a twist where the protagonist lady assumes the dominant role? That would lead to some interesting encounters, lol.) Thing is, I was slapped with the court case and instantly got married, kind of like the novel concluded directly in the second chapter, just after the first. I’m not asking for more words, just that I would’ve liked it if the story had a sense of ‘closure’ and ‘conclusion’ rather than a seemingly abrupt end.

As for the characters, comments claim that there was no connection to them, but that’s maybe because they’re just biased as they have a, let’s say “special” personality. If looking at them from a neutral perspective and putting myself in their shoes(both the protagonist and the love interest) I think their emotions and urges were explained very well, which is a daunting task to do when dealing with unique personalities. But the author managed to achieve and portray the emotion nicely in my opinion , and I could resonate with them.
Overall cool piece of work here! Loved the story and characters, 7/8.

I mean... I knew what I was getting into when I read the summary and the comments on this game but I still came out looking like the surprised pikachu meme. It’s really well written and all that other jazz people are saying here. But I can’t help but cringe just a little as I got flashes of 50 Shades of Grey. I felt like a fish out of water reading this; seeing how I’m not into BDSM. I just can’t help but feel that the MC and Isabella is brain dead for liking this unlikeable (in my opinion) male lead. Honestly, I feel a like the world is trying to gaslight me into believing that jackasses are hot. Let people like what they want, I guess. But I don’t think I can ever understand the abuse kink (yes I’m making a clear line between people fetishizing abuse and BDSM).

Make more...

disgusting

Good

Had to unpublish and republish to fix the background pictures due to my image hosting site dying. Sorry.