Player Comments on Will You Juul?
Oh boy, where do I begin with this one?
It's basically an advertisement for Juul electronic cigarettes that borderlines anti-smoking propaganda. I think we can all agree that using this site to advertise your product is...weak, I should say. But how does this work as a storygame?
Well, it's somewhat unrealistic and this likely a result of the propaganda-esque style used here. You supposedly knew this woman enough to marry her and only now is she having a problem with your smoking? There's just a problem with congruence here. In the story, it states that you've been smoking the same cigarettes for a decade and you've been married to this woman for three years. We're told at the end of the first page that it's been five years since you've been on tour, which means that, prior to marrying your wife, you were a smoker for 2 years. If this was such a problem that she would divorce you over it, why did she marry you in the first place?
The story is rushed in a comical sense. I would have appreciated some buildup to what happens as a result of the smoking, but you didn't seem interested in putting that kind of effort forth. It's just, "You keep smoking...now your life is ruined." The characters are all poorly done. I can't even make myself care about anyone given how brief everything is.
Grammar and punctuation is the only thing this story has going for it in addition to it being complete. No noticeable errors, which would have been embarrassing for someone advertising a product of any kind.
My final verdict is a 2/8. It's good...for you to poop on.
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Domitus
on 12/15/2018 12:27:44 PM with a score of 5
Fuck you and your stupid ass game? What even is this, freaking cuck ass advertisement.
Nobody gives a crying fuck about your fucking juuls, you advertising lame ass motherfucker.
There are only three fucking categories of people on this site. People who are too young to smoke, people who don't smoke, and our one Irish friend who smokes cigars and shit but doesn't give a fuck.
Get the fuck off this website you useless waste of space cunt fuck. Why even bother advertising your shitty product on some obscure writing site?
Whoever is in charge of your advertisement is a waste of space piece of shit and should be fired, genitals chopped off and quartered.
Someone fucking delete this waste of space game please.
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corgi213
on 12/15/2018 1:08:24 AM with a score of 5
This seems like an infomercial paid for by Juul. I have no doubt that you constantly drag on your own Juul, and just made this to feel good about your choice of nicotine. You might even be a teenager, and you found this information in the first place because your mother was upset to see you Juuling. If I had to bet, I’d say all of this information is either fake, or bribed. However, the writing isn’t too bad, and I think there might be some effort, even if minimal.
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Austinc
on 12/12/2018 8:10:31 AM with a score of 5
Well I have to say this is the first time I've ever seen anyone go through the effort of creating a storygame to try and advertise a product on the site. I'm actually sort of impressed.
Had to lol that the first and most sensible option 'just quick fucking smoking' had a little note implying it wouldn't work and then wow! Sure enough it didn't, because only Juul and the helpfully provided link to their website can save you!
Now that the appetite suppressing effects of nicotine are gone, eagerly awaiting the ad for food addiction next where it takes exactly one click to determine that eating less won't work at all because not making destructive life choices is just too hard without [SPECIFIC NAME BRAND] of diet pills.
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Mizal
on 12/10/2018 7:21:43 PM with a score of 5
What is this? Why is this even a "modern adventure"?
I don't agree with the premise; it's leading and seems to be in bad faith. You present a false dichotomy: keep smoking and lose, or use Juul™ and happy dance. Quitting is impossible. What's more, you provide a few URLs in favor of the product with no counterbalancing studies. Hardly seems impartial.
Proofreading needed a little more work, by the way.
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OriginalClamurai
on 12/10/2018 5:32:34 PM with a score of 5
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