Some stories have a message...kinda...

Additional Notes:

WARNING! (The real one)

This story is pretty offensive, it can get graphic and downright ruthless at times so if you don’t like that sort of humor, don’t read this story. But if you read it anyway don’t complain if you get offended, I did warn you and keep in mind it IS only a story.

(Or read it anyway, get offended and leave a hilariously triggered comment, that's fine too.)

Also, don't bother trying to "win" either. You can't. Just heed the moral lessons you may learn.

One musician's tale in a dying world

Additional Notes:

If you’ve read and liked Necromancer, then this might interest you as this story takes place during the same course of events of that story. (Not a prequel, not a sequel, but an equal!)

However, this story is definitely more “story” than “game”. In fact you shouldn’t even bother reading it if you’re intent on “winning”. You can’t. That being said, there is a “true ending” to this story and you’ll probably know if you get it. If you do get it, you can consider it a “win” if you like.

There are a few points in the story where there are links that lead to “Letters to Home”. While not necessary to understand the story, they do provide a little more insight into the protagonist’s thoughts and feelings on various situations.

The last hope for a dying empire

Additional notes:

This story can be very long assuming you're not dying. Years pass and your surroundings will most likely change. You may very well live a life time in the story.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the epilogues.

There are 13 epilogues total.

There are also several points in the story where there are links that lead to more background information on various people, places, things and events. While not completely necessary to understanding the story, they do give you more insight into it.

Carnivals aren't all fun and games.

Additional Notes:

While there is only one spot that contains extra histories for this story, it's basically the background information of all the major characters and factions. It's strongly recommended that these are read due to the fact that your character will be interacting with most of these folks in his attempts to successfully accomplish his task(s).

This story has a very factional feel to it, so choose your allegiances carefully to get one of the better endings.

If you see a bright light, duck and cover!

Additional notes:

I should point out that this story can be very long assuming you're not dying. Years pass and your surroundings will most likely change. You may very well live a life time in the story if you're lucky. You will also experience a completely different adventure depending on how you escaped the initial nuclear strike. (Assuming you do survive it.)

As with any of my writings, the "story" comes before the "game". However, this story was written in a "game like" format. So while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the 4 special endings. (You'll know if you get one because you'll get an epilogue)

This one's for the kids, no really!

Additional Notes:

This story has clear cut win/lose endings. There is nothing excessively unusual about this story, it's just a simple "children's story".

(Yes, you can still die in it)

Running the family business isn't easy!

Additional Notes:

In a few places there are links for history or certain characters. While not necessary to understand the story, they do provide further background information.

There are several endings varying in degrees of good/bad or neutral outcomes. Technically there is one very happy ending, but it isn't labeled as such.

Underneath the sickness there's love...

Additional Notes:

WARNING!

This story contains a lot of graphic content, if you are offended by ultra violence, explicit sexual descriptions, tons of swearing, blasphemy, inappropriate dark humor, and brutal misanthropy in general then DO NOT read this story!

Of course now that I’ve mentioned all the things it contains, you’ll probably read it anyway, you sick little monkey.

Well don’t complain if you get offended, I did warn you and keep in mind it IS only a story.

(Or read it anyway knowing it'll offend you and leave an amusingly triggered comment. That's fine too.)

This also isn't really a "win/lose" type story. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just a tale about a very twisted man and his very twisted lifestyle.

Additional Notes:

This story is definitely more "story" than "game", however there are two distinct paths that can be followed, each with their own pitfalls and additional choices. There is also "one true" ending in which can be considered a "win" (You'll know if you got it, because you'll get an epilogue)

This story can get long, and assuming you're surviving, years do pass in it and you and your environment will change. There are a few points in the story where there are links that lead to more background information on various people and things. While not completely necessary to understand the story, they do give you more insight into it. The text that accompanies some of the pics are also done for similar purposes (Your journal entries, personal thoughts, letters written to you, etc)

Humanity never changes...

Additional Notes:

There are links leading to various background information and your character's current thoughts throughout the story. In some cases these may provide greater insight since some mysterious things can occur in this story.

There are also several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. Technically there is one ultimate "winning" ending, but it isn't labeled as such.

Emotions can be wonderful or dangerous...

Additional Notes:

This story has a few bits that are probably a bit on the disturbing side. Not many, but they are there in places. So if you don't like that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't read it.

This story in general is probably a bit odd and less verbose than most of my other stories. There are also several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just the tale of a teenager who definitely has some issues.

From humble beginning to infamy and beyond!

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as a "sequel" to Innkeeper.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can technically "win" by getting one of the 12 epilogues.

Things would be so much easier if your name was Mary Sue

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as:

A direct sequel to the "Good Girl" short story in Tales From The Basement.

A semi sequel to the other TFTB short stories, Repression, TRASH, Love SICK and Geek.

A semi prequel to Ground Zero.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However while there isn't a complex inventory and all of that, you can still "win" by getting one of the epilogues.

There are 16 epilogues total.

Because Basement Dwellers are people too!

Additional Notes:

This story is three stories in one. Your first choice will lead to a separate tale of a different “basement dweller”. Each one is mostly different in tone.

Ebay Escapist is weird and random. It’s the least verbose of the three. (Or my stories in general)

Good Girl is the longest and most descriptive of the three. There is some weirdness going on here too, but is mostly kept much more in "reality". There is a cast of characters link in the beginning to help you keep up with who’s who.

Anime Addict has a lot of offensive language and humor, so if you don't like that sort of thing you shouldn’t read this one.

In all the tales there are several endings varying in degrees of good/bad/neutral outcomes. While there are some endings better than others, these are basically just tales of basement dwellers.

It's an edgelord boogaloo!

Additional Notes:

This story is three stories in one where it follows a different protagonist based on the first choice.

This story is also probably really offensive or something. Probably shouldn't read it if that's not your thing, but feel free to do so anyway and complain loudly in the comments since those are always good for a laugh.

Anyway, there's your extra warning. You can't say you weren't told.

Incel Insanity and Whining Wokie are all new tales, while Film Fanatic is a "reboot" of sorts of an older story called Exploitation Theater. Yes, it's finally here and been greatly expanded on.

As always the story is always more important than the game focus, but also as always, you definitely can get better endings than others.

Three ladies. Three legends.

Additional notes:

This story is a fully self contained one and can easily be read on its own, however it also acts as a connection to Rogues, Eternal and Necromancer.

As with any of my writings, the story comes before the game. However there is an epilogue for each "winning" ending.

Yee Haw! It's a trailer park life for me!

Additional Notes:

This story has a ton of offensive langauge and humor so if you don't like that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't read it. Though given the setting, the language used is pretty accurate.

This also isn't really a "win/lose" type story. While there are some endings better than others, this is basically just a tale about a typical day of a degenerate that lives in a trailer park.

Okay the first mini-series prequel 

Romance in Rags Issue 1

Hawt straw on straw action

Starts off with Jinjur traveling through the forest thinking about how much Oz sucks now and how things were better when she had a peaceful life as a trad wife and a husband to smack around. But she’s gotta go back to warrior mode and she gets a good test of that immediately when Kalidahs attack her.

She does alright with dodging for awhile, but it’s too much for her and eventually she’s about to become Catbear food then Jack and Amber rescue her ass and take her back to the FF stronghold since this is taking place just before Jinjur officially joined them

Meanwhile at said stronghold Wog is lamenting about his college getting torn down to build Scarecrow’s barn fortress saying what an outrage it is. Hektor says the bug’s right going on about how everything sucks now with an agreement by a guy named Shaggyman.

Shaggy man was in the OG books, and he actually was seen very briefly in the Freedom Fighters one shot special, but they never named him in it, he was just sort of in the background. He’s sort of known as a wanderer that takes notes of places he travels to. Traveling is a bit more dangerous nowadays though.

Amber, Jack and Jinjur arrive and Wog’s still bitching about his college and Scarecrow in particular seeing as he did also kill his little fairy minion Pyff. Amber insists that Scarecrow is being controlled magically, but Wog’s not hearing it and neither is Hammerhead.

Jinjur basically agrees that anyone who is helping NK just needs to be killed to weaken his grip and since this is war they don’t have the luxury of rehabilitating someone if they’re helping of their own free will or via magic enchantment.

Amber continues to argue that they can’t just abandoned their former friends, but again he’s the only one arguing for this point, everyone else is too angry with what the trio have done while in their evil forms. However, it keeps showing Patchwork Girl AKA Scraps being silent and looking sad during this whole time until she finally explodes into anger herself specifically defending Scarecrow saying he couldn’t be doing what they say he’s doing on his own accord and only magical enchantment could turn him into a slave driving tyrant.

Wog and most of the others are unmoved. In fact Wog blatantly says her opinion doesn’t matter since as a girl in love of course she’s going to see a prince where there’s actually a toad. Hektor states maybe they shouldn’t talk around someone so sympathetic with the enemy. Scraps runs off calling them all horrible people while Wog just says that they need to be more cautious speaking around Scraps in the future.

Amber in his usual chivalrous fashion goes to try to talk to Scraps and such, but while she’s glad he’s come to her defense, she’s tired of the rest talking shit about her now evil boyfriend. Amber says he’ll do everything in his power to make sure they don’t throw Scarecrow into a bonfire when they confront him.

Meanwhile Scarecrow is lording it over the munchkins, specifically some older munchie called Mr. Pipt. He states he know Pipt is a minor wizard that is skilled enough to make the Powder of Life and liquid of petrification. The plan is to create an army of straw golems like himself so that he can better destroy anyone that would oppose him or the Nome King. Also with such an army he’d be the second most powerful in Oz with only NK being higher.

Nice idea, but pretty sure straw golems aren’t outclassing Tin Man’s steampunk toaster army.

Anyway Mr. Pipt refuses, but Scarecrow unleashes his crows on him so he begs for mercy and gives in. Scarecrow says he’s already provided all the best devices and components he’ll need from various other shamans across munchkinland and if he needs anything else he can get it for him. He also tell him his top crow Heckle will be watching him at all times so if he tries to escape, then the rest of his crows will devour him one small beakful at a time. 

Meanwhile Scraps is sneaking about the FF hideout and having inner monologues with herself about how she’s not letting them do anything to Scarecrow. She goes into Shaggyman’s room (Who being a hobo is sleeping on the floor since he’s so used to it that sleeping in a normal bed is unnatural to him) and starts picking his pockets for an object he carries with him.

It’s the Love Magnet! With it, she’ll be able to track down Scarecrow and turn him back in no time! She then runs off to do just that.

“I can fix him!”

And that’s it for this issue.

Romance in Rags Issue 2

They certainly did nail an evil expression for him

Starts off with Scraps still running off to see Scarecrow and talking herself into believing that she can get through to him with the love magnet.

Meanwhile the rest of the FF aren’t aware she’s gone yet and some are sitting at the table eating. Hektor in particular is eating like a fucking disgusting pig with food all over his fat fucking face and belching loudly (He really is just vile to look at) He states they need to take care of Scarecrow first then the Lion, then Tin Man. Amber still insists they need to just face the Nome King directly, but once again Jinjur brings up the point that he’s too powerful with the resources he currently has. Taking out the trio first at least weakens his position.

And once again Amber insists that the trio are merely under enchantment and not really evil. Hektor pipes up from his sloppy feeding to state he was close enough to see the glee in the Lion’s eyes when he destroyed his people’s village and he did it for the lolz since the Hammerheads weren’t even the target, he was on his way to Quailing country where he killed their king.

Amber continues this argument, but it’s pretty useless as everyone from Jinjur to Jack Pumpkinhead is against him. They’re ready to move against the Scarecrow and not wait for some opening in the Nome King’s defenses like he wants to do.

At this point Shaggyman finally wakes up and starts shouting about his love magnet being gone. They also notice Scraps isn’t around so immediately they’re all going to search the forest for her with Wog saying he knew they shouldn’t have spoke around a creature the same as the Scarecrow. Amber just stands alone sadly since he was wrong as usual.

Cut to Scarecrow finding Pipt asleep at the alchemy table though he says he was merely concentrating. Scarecrow asks what he’s accomplished with all this concentration and it’s the first batch of the Powder or Life, though he says it’s a bit contaminated with dust so the effectiveness of it will be somewhat decreased but it’ll still work. Scarecrow mentions he’s been working on a creation of his own. Namely a son.

Just then another munchkin interrupts saying he’s got a visitor which pisses off Scarecrow since he doesn’t accept any. When it’s told to be a very special looking lady at the door, he accepts to see her.

Cut back to the FF getting ready to do their search. Shaggy wants to come, but since he’s an old hobo without a shotgun he’s not much use so better that he stay put. Jinjur, Amber and Jack are the three to go, though Hektor says he should go instead of Amber since he feels he’s still being a faggot over Scarecrow. Not liking the ongoing tone of this fat freak with no arms and a spring head, he tells him he’s still the fucking officer in charge and Hektor needs to shut the fuck up. Hektor attempts to explain what he meant, but Amber’s done with the bullshit, so Hektor backs down and apologizes.

I will say this that Hungry Tiger is suspiciously abscent and he’d already joined the FF at this point. Maybe he’s on another mission during this time though. (He would’ve been really useful here though)

Cut to Scarecrow who finally sees who his visitor is and even he’s surprised that it’s Scraps. He’s actually glad to see her and for a brief moment he doesn’t look evil, but he’s got too much toxic strawmanitivity to show his real fee fees for long. She comes to him with a proposal that it’s probably boring just sitting around being a king and that he should just leave his post and they can travel  the land together as hobo lovers. 

He states that’s a tempting offer, but he’s got a better plan which is she could instead stay here in this barn fortress and be his queen. Now she’s the one that’s surprised.

Cut to Amber, Jack and Jinjur (and a couple of FF munchkins) lurking outside the barn fortress (Why the hell did they need the magnet anyway, everyone knows he’s in munchkinland in a giant barn) and Amber and Jinjur are reassuring each other than while they disagree about what to do with the Scarecrow, they trust each other to do what’s needed in a battle.

So all three of them do a lot of sneaking about and more sneaking when they get in the place. They’re confused about there not being any sort of guards though. Funny thing is in this prequel the inside of the barn is a bit more complex looking than the design you see in the main story back in first issues. Like there’s multiple rooms and stairways like it’s an actual fortress. In the original it’s more like just an oversized barn just with a very high ceiling. 

Anyway eventually they find Pipt sleeping on his table again, and that’s when they’re also discovered by other munchkins who alert Scarecrow, but he states he already sees them as he’s looking on from a high stack of straw with Scraps by his side.

Jinjur asks if Scraps told him about their plan to which he states it doesn’t take a genius to know they’re his enemies and would logically be seeking to destroy him. However, he’s pissed at Scraps for not telling him and she was just distracting him. Scraps says she didn’t and was just trying to save him from being killed by convincing him to leave this place. This causes Jinjur to point out to Amber that this is proof Scraps is a big traitor and needs to be burned with the Scarecrow. 

Scarecrow at this point doesn’t want anymore shit talked about his queen and soon mother of his children.

Now all of the FF are like “Whut?”

That’s it for this issue

Romance in Rags Issue 3

Oh come on it’s a prequel, we all know how this really turns out later

 Starts off with Scarecrow doing a villain monologue bit where he’s stating they’re all fools to have come to oppose him and reinforcing that Scraps will be his queen and mother to his children. Scraps tries to say that isn’t why she came here, but nobody is listening to her and Jinjur says the children must all going to be liars and traitors too if their parents are any indication.

Jinjur shoots several arrows into the Scarecrow with the predictable results of doing nothing. He states that he’s eternal and that he IS Oz while munchkin soldiers come in to capture the FF.

Scarecrow then goes into a bit of an extra evil rant about how only the magical folk should be living in or running Oz anyway. Even the munchkins can be considered fairy folk that are natives to the place. Meanwhile folks like Amber, Jinjur, the Wizard and Ozma are merely immigrants (humans) and should be banished at best and just killed if they insist on meddling.

He even points out that Jack could be part of the new order if he relinquished his friendship with the humans, but knowing his allegiance to Ozma, he’s dying along side them. Jack can’t do anything since there’s no living plants for him to control. Dry hay doesn’t count. Jinjur and Amber are soon overwhelmed as well and Scarecrow calls for them to be hanged on the corn poles to serve as a reminder of those who would dare confront him. He even tells them to remove Jack’s head and place it backwards so he doesn’t have any power at all. (Seems like the best thing to do with him is just kill him outright, but villain arrogance and all) One of the munchkins asks how another can do this to him, but the answer is it’s just his pride that’s making him believe he’s chosen the right side and he needs to shut the hell up before he also hits him in the head.

Scarecrow then turns to Scraps saying they must prepare for the future with really damn sinister look on his face. As I’ve said whenever they’ve had the evil Scarecrow, they’ve usually gotten his facial expressions perfect for that deranged grin.

So the FFs get the Oz equivalent of being crucified except they’re lucky it just involves tying them up on the poles as opposed to nailing them to the poles or worse impaling them on the poles. Jack’s still able to talk, but he can’t see anything and not being attached to his body he can’t do anything else either. Jinjur and Amber are busily arguing about what they should’ve or shouldn’t have done while the two munchkins are lamenting about what’s become of their countrymen and how they were once a good and peaceful people.

Fortunately because of this, they aren’t the most effective in such matters of being guards and such, so they fall asleep while watching the FF group. Of course seeing as Jinjur and Amber are content on arguing for most of this time, it hardly matters.

Basically Amber and Jinjur spend a few pages arguing over trust and all that. Amber has too much of it and because he believed Scraps that’s why they’re in this situation. Amber claims if he gives up on trusting those he feels are friends then what’s the point since he might as well not trust Jinjur either and only himself. Jinjur points out he’s being a retard and that it’s not the same, but eventually she sees he’s point or just agrees with his dumb ass because they’re wasting time by not trying to escape.

Meanwhile Scarecrow is trying to impress his little patchy girlfriend and shows her what he’s working on which is his “son” who he calls Stitch. Stitch will be the firstborn, but only one of many to come. He then states that he’s glad he no longer has to oversee this along, but he can now share this joy with one that is actually worthy to be called their mother.

“Oh my!” - Scraps

Scarecrow wonders what’s wrong and why isn’t she thrilled by the idea of being mother to an army of straw golems to rule Oz forever. Scraps however says this is just so overwhelming for her little (female) brain which isn’t nearly as big as the Scarecrow’s. Scarecrow apologizes saying he didn’t mean to boggle her mind so much and that he was just so excited to show her what an evil genius he was and it eases his burdens to see that his true love has come to him who he can trust when everyone else has become his enemy. He passionately smooches her going on about more stuff he wants to share with her and then tells her to rest her weary head and then when she’s ready, they can go give Stitch life. 

Scraps is left alone and it turns out she was just playing along because she sees now that Scarecrow is indeed pretty evil and not the same one she knew. On one hand if she goes along with the Scarecrow then he’s just going to make Oz an even worse place and the Nome King will never be defeated. But if she helps the FF then she’s betraying the straw man she loves.

Well she goes and frees Amber and crew because ultimately Scraps isn’t a Ride or Die bitch.

Amber of course is overjoyed not just for the chance at escape, but this proves his point that Scraps was still on the good team, but it’s of little comfort to her as she sees herself as a betrayer no matter what. The crows and munchkins already start sounding alarms.

Scarecrow meanwhile is wondering what’s taking Scraps so long to think on everything he’s said since it shouldn’t take all night. 

“Pah! Women!” - Scarecrow (And yes he actually says this)

Of course he’s really pissed when he hears the crow alarm and calls forth all his munchkin guards to recapture the FF. A few pages of battle ensue including the FF munchkin killing the other from earlier that strapped him to a pole. All of the FF escape, except Scraps who gets brought back to Scarecrow. She states that she would say she’s sorry, but that wouldn’t be the truth.

Scarecrow is genuinely overcome with some grief that he was thinking with his pitchfork. The entire time he speaks he’s face palming on his throne even stating that Pipt escaped in the mayhem. He goes on to say never again will he allow his heart to belong to another and will remain his own. Those that have been calling him cruel and now going to have no idea of how much he was holding back before.

Scraps points out that if his heart has been his the entire time then use it to break free of NK since he’s the one that’s been lying to him not her. He tells his munchkins to get her out of his sight and he doesn’t want to hear or see her again.

So Scraps is off to the Nome King dungeons while Scarecrow goes to where Stitch is still laying on a table and he sprinkles the Powder of Life vowing that he’ll raise his firstborn in his image of not showing mercy and all that other shit.

Stitch then opens his eyes saying “Hello father” 

That’s it for the issue and the miniseries.

So next up is the mini-series Straw and Sorcery which basically just picks up right where the last one left off.

Straw & Sorcery Issue 1

Poor Scraps can’t catch a break

So this starts off with the FF talking about their recent encounter with the Scarecrow as they’re walking away from his barn fortress. Honestly they seem entirely entirely too casual for not being that far from it. Which is proven when they quickly get interrupted by more munchkins. Jack does his vine magic shit and they get away. They’re still arguing again about what to do next, but they do agree that Scraps turned out to still be on their side after all. 

Cut to Scarecrow who is uncharacteristically praising one of his munchkin lackies Pingo on his tailoring skills to help create his son Stitch. Pingo mentions that he thinks he and someone else called Wobbo have managed to recreate the Powder of Life so Stitch seems to be working as intended, though he’s a bit meaner and less refined. Scarecrow says he’ll teach him more refinement but the meanness stays after all an iron fist is needed to rule and he’s the perfect prototype for his army of tatterdemalions.

Cut to Scraps being taken to Em City on a wagon and getting taunted by the munchkins taking her saying she should’ve taken the Scarecrow’s offer since they would’ve been calling her Highness instead of throwing her in the dungeon. They fuck up though with driving the wagon and it overturns allowing her to escape.

They give chase complaining that all the running is making their corns hurt and if she doesn’t give up now, the nomes will soon come after her and they aren’t as nice as they are. Scraps manages to wiggle out of her rope cuffs being made of straw and all. It isn’t long before she manages to elude the munchkins who then have to go report to the Nome King about their failure.

Upon reporting, NK asks if he thinks he’s supposed to go hopping around Em City chasing the rag doll. He tells him to go see Mombi to handle this shit and for his sake it better get resolved soon.

Just as an aside, the dialog in this one is a lot more than any of the other comics so far. Seriously there’s so many word balloons and text boxes that they’re usually covering most of the artwork. Honestly it’s probably a bit overboard for a comic like this especially when the characters tend to repeat shit they already said last issue or even a few pages ago.

Cut back to Amber who is back Scarecrow’s barn this time with Wogglebug and Gump. Though it turns out Jinjur, Tik Tok, Jack and their munchkin allies are also along for the ride. A big battle takes place in the cornfields with the Scarecrow’s munchkins and his crows that he sends out. In fact that’s how they find out exactly where in the barn Scarecrow is now based on where the crows came from. While everyone is fighting outside, Amber sneaks into the barn and captures Scarecrow who now doesn’t have any guard or even his crows to call upon.

Again this is the time where just focusing on the battle would’ve been better than cramming in a shitload of text boxes dumping lore about say Tik Tok. Seriously, while he’s punching out munchkins there’s multiple long ass text boxes about who and what he is and how he works. It’s like yeah sort of already know based on the shit from the main series. 

And there’s also already more problems with all this.

Now keep in mind this is all still near the beginning of the dark times in Oz. They’ve apparently managed to capture the Scarecrow already with minimal forces, why the hell weren’t they able to do this again? Because ten years later when the earth crew shows up they pretty much just waltz into the barn and take him out with even greater ease with just two dudes and a dog.

Which brings me to the third problem and that’s Scarecrow isn’t wearing any sort of magic amulet that’s turned him evil. In fact he wasn’t wearing it in the other mini-series either. This actually makes it seem like everyone was right all along and Scarecrow is just being an asshole of his own freewill. Even if you dismiss this as “Whoops the artist forgot to draw it” (And that has happened in the earlier books in the main series) they fucking captured him. Surely Amber would know to just remove the thing given that he was there when the Nome King changed them.

In any case, Wog takes Scarecrow’s tied up body on Gump and flies back to the FF fortress while the rest of them fight their way out of the place.

Cut back to Scraps who is now being pursued by Mombi who isn’t pleased that she’s gotta chase down some escaped rag doll like a common guard. Throughout the chase, it’s thunder storming out side all the while Mombi is slutshaming Scraps calling her a trollop and strumpet. Meanwhile poor Scraps probably hasn’t even kissed anyone except Scarecrow.

Mombi starts literally batting her around like a cat since she’s got those long witch nails, but they aren’t doing the desired damage even if Scraps is pathetically begging her to stop but this just makes Mombi even angrier and unleashes powerful magic at which still doesn’t kill her, but she’s determined with the next attack.

And that’s it for this issue.

Straw & Sorcery Issue 2

Another close up of Scarecrow’s scowling mug

This starts off with another fucking info dump of text boxes and then is followed up with a shitload of dialog balloons as the FF are questioning Scarecrow tied to a chair. Trust me, I’m well aware of the irony of me complaining about too much dialog, but again it’s shit they keep repeating which granted is an ongoing problem with the comic series in general, but they go really overboard with it in this mini-series.

It doesn’t help that the text during all this is odd looking. Like it’s flattened and slanted to the right like they were trying to squash as much text in as they could. It’s actually hard to make out a few of the words at times.

Anyway Scarecrow is doing the whole taunting thing, while Amber’s trying to prove he’s under enchantment. Jinjur meanwhile is ready to torch him. Scarecrow then starts talking in weird poetry gibberish.

Cut back to Mombi who is about to destroy Scraps especially since she keeps calling her “moms” while begging for mercy. Out of desperation Scraps pulls out the love magnet and uses it hoping it’ll do something, which it surprisingly does.

Mombi hesitates long enough for Scraps to escape, though Mombi knows some sort of magic was used on her and now she wants that magic for herself.

Cut to Dorothy being taken to her dinner by her nome handler who acts a little concerned for her, thinking she need to eat more and wishes she could speak to tell him how she would like her food prepared, but Dorothy is just in her silent trance and eats the same way.

Oh and how briefly I just explained that? There’s four fucking pages once again filled with text boxes covering half the pics explaining a bunch of shit that isn’t really needed.

In any case Dorothy finishes eating and wanders back to her room with the nome saying poor girl and unfortunately for him the Nome King happened to be around watching all this so he turns the sympathetic nome into a squirrel.

Next he cut to the two munchkins that were helping the FF trying to find Jack while doing battle with their fellow munchkins. There’s a lot of talking between each other and while sword fighting their enemies. This stretches out over several pages until they encounter a munchkin in a scarecrow mask called Pinnok claiming he’s in charge in the Scarecrow’s absence. Honestly that bit was a cool touch and they should’ve had more unhinged munchkins doing shit like that.

Though his bravado doesn’t last long since Jack show up almost immediately to use his vine powers on him and his cohorts, but they aren’t completely out of it yet. 

More fighting (and talking) ensues. Eventually Pinnok gets himself free and Jack is getting his melon hacked at by more munchkins who also have a Quadling hound helping them. Fortunately Sawhorse makes another rare appearance and starts kicking munchkin asses and they all manage to escape.

Though interesting that Amber and Jinjur had just left them all behind and managed to get back to the FF fortress so quickly. (Wog at least had a reason for being back there so quickly, he was riding Gump)

Cut back to Scraps who thinks she’s finally eluded Mombi only to get fucking blasted by her suddenly with magic. She falls off the high roof she’s on with Mombi saying she won’t escape her that way and she’ll be down soon to get her.

Scraps at this point has lost all her energy due to the damage she’s been taken. Luckily for her Pipt and a friend of his are driving wagon looking for her and they just so happen to be riding by where she fell. Pitt picks her up and says he can bring her back with the powder of life.

Cut back to the FF questioning Scarecrow who is still speaking gibberish poetry. Eventually they get tired of this and Wog kicks over his chair. Tik Tok however tells them that he recognizes something about the poetry and it relating to Wonderland.

First reference to Wonderland, there’s going to be more a little later.

Amber and Jinjur start wondering if the evil is also infecting Wonderland or coming from it. All of which implies that Ozzites are familiar with Wonderland.

Last panel is Scarecrow spouting more poetry and mentioning the Jabberwocky with a big evil grin.

And that’s it for the issue.

Straw & Sorcery Issue 3

About fucking time he showed up

Alright this starts off with the FF still questioning Scarecrow and him still more or less answering in nonsense. At one point he asks why they’re so sure if the Nome King is behind his deed, and maybe he just decided he was done with fleshlings. Jinjur’s had enough of his shit and literally wants to beat the stuffings out of him. Amber holds her back stating it’s not going to hurt him anyway.

Jack and the two munchies show up which causes a bit of relief from the FF though Scarecrow takes the opportunity to state that Jack really should be on his team and that the Nome King could have use of him. At which point Scarecrow starts ranting saying he finally said it’s the Nome King in charge of everything and are they finally happy now. He starts singing rhymes and then demands that they release him or he’ll hold his breath until his head explodes. He sounds even more insane than usual at this moment, but then he actually does start doing it and his head starts to get bigger. 

Cut to Hungry Tiger who is wandering through a forest and then he gets attacked by kalidahs. There’s more text box info dump while the fight is going on. So by the third or forth page it turns out Monkey boy is flying overhead with HG and helps him out with the kalidahs using bolos and nets. The fight goes on a little longer, but eventually they kill the kalidahs. Monkey asks isn’t he going to eat the kalidahs, but HG says they’re part tiger and that feels like cannibalism which he can’t do.

Turns out HG and Monkeyboy have been looking for the Lion’s lair. Though shouldn’t just be in the same location it was before, it wasn’t like Lion moved it and HG should already know where it is. Meanwhile Lion is already well aware he’s being searched for and says it’s fortunate that the kalidahs confounded HG’s sense of smell because HG wouldn’t be walking away if he found him.

Cut back to Scarecrow’s madness routine and Wog is pulling out some sort of giant lighter. Amber tells him to put that away and tells Scarecrow to tell them more about the Wonderland poem, but he’s done with that bit so he moves on to something else and spouts more gibberish until he suddenly gets completely free by jumping out of his clothes (through the collar)

At this point he’s just a naked strawbody bouncing around as the rest try to catch him, but he gets away through a window taunting them the whole time. And even worse he had a munchkin minion waiting with a wagon right outside the fucking FF fortress!

What the fuck are the FF even doing? No wonder it took 10 fucking years to take back Oz! Hell they wouldn’t have done it at all without Kevin and crew!

Cut to Ozma in the dungeon and again a shitload of text boxes. Nome King arrives to basically be mean to her as usual long with threatening to RAEP her (Or “take her” as he puts it) but of course we all know he’s all talk in that department.

Cut to Scarecrow who is back at his barn and giving out a lot of orders to his munchkins. Ordering Pingo to make him a new set of clothing, a doctor to patch up the munchkins who got wounded in battle, having a letter sent to Tin Man and Lion to help deal with the FF, and have the dead crows cleaned (Even says poor birds) He actually comes off completely clear headed now.

Finally he goes to see Stitch who looks like he needs another dose of life powder again, but Scarecrow has plans for him to be his new captain.

Cut back to Scraps who is being revived by Pipt who thanks him for saving her and he suggests they go link back up with the FF. Though he feels like they’re going to be dealing the Scarecrow for a long time.

Final scene is Amber deep in thought and one more time a shitload of text boxes about what he’s pondering. It’s really the same old shit, won’t bother going into it other than he let the fucking Scarecrow get away again due to fucking around and now he's moping about like a faggot. 

That’s it for the issue and the series thankfully.

So Romance in Rags was cool. I actually would’ve preferred something more like that for the main series and just have Oz characters rather than focusing on the earthers. It really should’ve started with the dark times and went from there.

However, the S&S mini-series was a mess and should’ve been something other than focusing on the damn Scarecrow again (Guess it would’ve been called something else). A lot of it just didn’t go anywhere. It probably would’ve been better if they had explored more with Hungry Tiger and Monkeyboy tracking the Lion.

Don’t get me started on what the hell happened with Scarecrow’s straw golem army. I mean he had 10 years to work on that, and they’re nowhere around by the time Kevin and crew show up. Though given how incompetent the FF showing is in this issue, I suppose everyone is just retarded in Oz anyway.

And yeah I get that they probably didn’t have the idea at the time of the first issue, but this is the problem with prequels. They can create more unnecessary plot holes.

Anyway that’s it for prequel shit. Next five comics will be the conclusion of the main series, well sort of, but we’ll get into that later. Stay tuned!

Avatar Fire and Ash (The Movie)

Alright I’m not going to spend much time on this one since I know everyone here is all into the franchise so they’re going to see it anyway.

One I’ll say right away is that this was probably the first Avatar movie I actually liked in its entirety.

The first one I definitely wasn’t impressed with. And while I didn’t hate it I still stand by the by the fact that it was Dances With Wolves IN SPACE so it didn’t do much new and I’ve never been into the whole “White dude goes native to help the savages” shit.

And no it’s not out of some hatred of “white savior” trope (I’m fine with that obviously), it’s more the case I just don’t like traitors. And Jake’s a fucking traitor to humanity for a piece blue tail. (Literally, not just her blue ass) That’s all there is to it.

Also didn’t help you had faggots hyped up about this movie so much one of them actually popped his cork because real life would never be as “beautiful” as the Avatar movie. What a fucktard, he missed out on all the future movies.

So by the time the second movie came out, I was going to ignore it, but to my surprise everyone here is a damn Avatar fanatic (Not the ones that popped their cork over it though obviously). Or at least all the important people are. Something about how it’s better than all the marvel shit that’s churned out, etc.

And well yeah of course it is, but that’s a pretty fucking low bar. As far as I was concerned, Avatar is in the same league as the same dumb ass blockbuster Marvel movie with a lot of flashy shit going on. Didn’t do anything new or impressive, I don’t care how pretty it looks.

Well not wishing to look like an outsider, I decided well fine I’ll give it another shot, maybe there’s something I missed or something. (Plus I didn’t have anything better to do and I can’t really be too much of a movie snob for someone that watches people getting their heads sawed off for fun)

So I saw the second one and it was alright. I liked it at least better than the first that I almost had a facial expression.

I think my problem with that one was there were parts that just felt too unecessarily long. Probably would’ve liked it better if it had been about the length of the original one (That one was 30 minutes shorter than the second) Probably was a good idea to bring Miles back since he was pretty much the only reason I tolerated the first one.

Well at this point I’m invested in the series enough that I had to at least see this one and whether I saw any more or not depended on how good this one was. So I saw this one and as I said before I liked the whole thing. As far as I’m concerned this is the best of the movies so far. Seeing as there’s supposed to be only two more planned, I suppose this means I’ll be seeing those as well, even if the next one ends up sucking worse than the first one.

Hell this one was even a few minutes longer than the second one, but none of it really felt like filler. I actually felt like “Yeah, they needed about this long to tell the story.” (It's clocking in at a little over the 3 hour mark)

I’m sure of this was helped once again by having Miles in it a lot more. The interactions with him and his new crazy fire obsessed girlfriend was pretty amusing. The fire queen in general was a fun character. Even Jake’s wife wasn’t boring this time, she’s actually sort of racist in this for awhile which was cool since she wanted to kill Miles’ son a few times. He’s probably the most annoying character anyway.

Other stuff that made this better is expanding the lore a bit more. Introduces some new tribes you haven’t seen before. Not just the new fire bad guys, but there’s a tribe that just goes trading with the other tribes all over, using these balloon like creatures to fly around. They're supposed to be in it more in the next two movies. Humans got a lot more of a foothold on the planet too.

Anyway if you’re into the series already, I can’t imagine you won’t like this one too.

Alright next 5.

Issue 11: The Perils of Peter

A day in the spotlight

Starts off with the Nome King roaring in anger about Ozma being gone. Mombi tells him that the jailer reported this to her and NK is probably ready to have him flayed. He tells everyone to search everywhere.

Mombi goes to her Ladies Auxiliary and tells them all except two are needed as extra guards. The remaining two need to keep an eye on Peter. So they’re escorting him to the dungeon and making jokes about Mombi along with telling Peter to not be such a coward since it’s going to be just as terrible for them when they have to hear his screams echoing down the hallways. Well Pete is of the mind that if he’s actually thrown in the dungeon again that’ll be it for him so he figures his only chance is to do what Kevin would do in this situation.

So he punches one of the LAs in the stomach and another in the face putting “Equal rights means equal fights” to the test. He runs off and tries to cut his ropes around his wrists on a nearby suit of armor holding a weapon. (Hey they were the ones stupid enough not to tie his hands behind his back) The LAs are eager to recapture him otherwise it won’t be good for them, though Pete states he’s also fond of being alive so it’s going to depend on who wants it bad enough. 

While I haven’t said much about this, but Peter and Kevin are both pretty damn skilled in combat for what are essentially being nerds. And Peter isn’t even supposed to be the brawler of the two. Now granted there’s plenty of folks who are nerds and also have combat skills, but these guys are more action hero level than normal. I suppose I point this out now because he absolutely dominates the two LAs who aren’t just armored (Yes properly armored, no chainmail bikinis) and have swords. These are SUPPOSED to be an elite warrior group on Oz. 

I suppose it could be a case though that they haven’t really gone up against any serious competition, but Pete just fucking thrashes them both as they bumble around trying to recapture him or actually they dispense with the recapture and are trying to just kill him. (At one point he does state he hates that he’s punching women while doing it)

Anyway after knocking them both out, he grabs a sword and runs off to save Dorothy though he’s still under the impression that she’s Glinda. (Probably believing her magic can save them both somehow)

Meanwhile Ozma’s giving a speech about how great it is everyone’s reunited. Various folks are apologizing to each other and Kevin interrupts everyone saying they need to stop the lovefest and go back to rescue Peter. Of coursethere’s problems with that given even the tunnels they used to save Ozma are probably well guarded (or collapsed) by now.

Wog comes up with the plan that he and Ozma should visit the 4 main kingdoms to try to unite their respective folk (The Munchkins, Winkies, Quadlings and Gillikins) against NK once and for all since things are a bit different now with Ozma and the trio on the good team again.

Meanwhile Kevin is speaking Mary and she’s apologizing for running off the way she did not realizing Kevin and Peter weren’t right behind her during the first Munchkin attack, but Kevin isn’t fussed about it since the important thing is to save Peter now and get out of Oz. 

Then Mary has this almost sly look on her face saying that it hasn’t been all bad here and she’s even made a few friends.

Way to be a big whore Mary.

Kevin brings her a bit back to reality saying Peter’s is possibly being tortured so he’s not to fond of things right now. Amber steps up stating that Ozma and Wog wants to speak with them. Kev asks Mary if this is one of her friends, and she explains the least damning way possible saying Amber saved her life a few times. Kev thanks him, not really seeing anything more to it all the while Amber has a bit of an annoyed look on his face.

As for Ozma, she actually doesn’t say much other than after they win, she can send them all back to earth, but they’ll be welcome to stay if they wish. She then leaves with Wog as they ride off on Gump.

Meanwhile Peter is still running about the palace looking for Glinda. Eventually he gets back to the throne room where everyone has left except Dorothy who’s still sitting on her throne.He sees the amulet around her neck and knows from the trio that if you take it off, it breaks the spell. So he does that and then soon finds out this isn’t Glinda. Dorothy is also a bit confused since she still thinks she’s a little girl, however she remembers the Nome King so she tells Pete that the Wizard had a secret passage nearby.

And then she passes a mirror and starts crying about how she looks. She says how she doesn’t want to be old and wants to be a little girl again and wants Aunt Em!

So what’s Pete’s response?

He bitch slaps Dorothy. Guess he got a little too comfortable hitting women. Lol.

Pete apologizes like a gentleman but says they don’t have time for a breakdown they have to escape, so Dorothy is like okay okay and leads the way. Pete adding “At least it’s not like you grew up ugly or anything.”

(Watch it Pete, she looks 22, but she’s really 12)

Cut to Ozma and Wog who meet up with some Gillikins and after explaining the new situation, they’re ready to commit their forces for the cause. They also give Ozma some metal scraps they gathered from the former  Freedom Fighter Hold which are bits of Tik Tok. 

Wog suggests they go visit the Winkies next since they’re good smiths and can put him back together

Meanwhile there’s a nome meeting with a character in a cloak. The face is hidden completely. The nome hands over a vial of blood and in return he gets a shitload of gold. Turns out the vial contains the blood of the true ruler of Oz and a WICKED plan is going to be set in motion.

And that’s it for the issue.

There’s a Munchkin mailbag at the end, but the only thing of amusement value is the editor telling Oz fans to take a MGM Dorothy doll and put a noose around her neck and place her on the Christmas tree because after all, aren’t you supposed to hang Garland for Christmas?

Finally one worthy of King Zombie.

Issue 12: All Things Wicked

Okay Pete, you’re pushing it now on getting main cover time

Starts off with Ozma and Wog arriving in Winkie land, which is now under new management seeing as Tin Man isn’t ruling the place anymore. Major Minor is still around and so is a majority of the mechanical shit that Tin Man was hyping up when he was evil.

Though seeing as he left, the toasters ended up picking a new king among the meatbags. Weird that they’d do this since even if Tin Man turned good, he was really instilling the whole machine superiority thing. You’d think maybe Major Minor would’ve logically taken over and continued with that, or at least taken over in general. 

However, instead Major Minor made the decision to pick a guy named Johnny Dooit to be king since he had the most mechanical knowledge so it was the most logical choice, plus he helped build most of them.

(Apparently this Dooit guy is a character from the OG books, though he’s portrayed way younger here than he is in the books)

Dooit explains to Ozma and Wog that he was the main one from keeping Tin Man from killing more Winkies whenever he got angry at them. So he was basically Ozcar Schindler. Ozma asks if he can rebuild Tik Tok, but Johnny says it’s going to be tough but he’ll try. He also gives his support of the Winkies to move against the Nome King when the time comes.

Cut to Nome King and he’s throwing a tantrum and breaking shit. he’s about to break the good witch figures until he stops himself saying he may have use for them later. So he calls Mombi in to bitch at her since now Peter and Dorothy have escaped. Tells her to stop fucking up or else she’s going to get fucked up. He basically tells her to kill everyone, even Ozma, he can’t take chances anymore.

Cut to Dorothy and Peter who has tried the best he can on updating her on the situation as they move through secret passage (which is going a lot deeper underground). She starts asking about Toto, Aunt Em, her chicken, etc. but Pete doesn’t know anything about that. When she mentions Ozma, he mentions he saw her in the dungeon since he was with her. 

Dorothy insists they go back and save her, but Pete isn’t keen on that idea. It doesn’t matter though since she’s already trying to go back, so he goes and follows her. Of course they don’t know she’s already escaped. This plan is cut short anyway when they run into goblins. 

Cut to Ozma speaking to the Quadlings on joining the coalition, but their leader Prince Quonto says as much as he sees the merit in the plan and respects Ozma, he can’t throw in his support and has to put his people first.

He then goes on to explain that while the rest fell with such little resistance to the point of cowardice, the Quadlings actually managed to drive the nomes out of their land and hold off NK from taking over. Though it’s been at a great cost, so it doesn’t seem like a good idea to throw more men in plan that’s probably going to fail anyway.

Wog gets pissed about this which Ozma has to calm him down before the guards skewer the roach for mouthing off to the prince. Ozma makes one last plea saying she can’t believe they’d defy their queen that loves them, but her words do not move the prince. He merely states that her fucktarded belief that evil couldn’t conquer her land lead them to this situation and so the Quadlings can only depend on themselves and will remain independent from now on.

Ozma leaves crying with Wog (Lol)

Cut to Peter who has a multi-page fight with the goblins. During the fight he mentions that this action hero stuff is supposed to be Kevin’s job, though he’s pretty much been performing like one throughout the comic as well and is doing it again here.

Cut to Mombi briefly saying she’s glad she’s got permission to just kill Ozma now, but as she’s spying on things, she notices Kevin’s dog Max and starts going on about how this beast won’t stop her. The evil witches really don’t like dogs.

It goes back to Pete still fighting the last goblin and now he’s making one liners like an action hero, but after has dispatches that gobo, one last one comes out looking a bit tougher than the rest saying a fighter who makes jokes is the most scared and now it’s time for a big joke, he’s going to die.

Cut back to some of the Freedom Fighterer riding on Scarecrow’s crows to assault Em City themselves, mostly to save Peter. While Wog had warned them earlier that such an action was retarded without waiting for the back up him and Oz were getting, they went and did it anyway (Which Wog figured they would)

After flying in and dispatching the one lone sentry on the battlements of the palace, they soon stumble upon Mombi who is glad they’ve saved her the trouble of seeking them out.

That’s it for this issue.

Not much reader mail and Stu didn’t ramble so we can move on

Issue 13: What on Earth?

These niggas about to have a bad trip

Alright so this issue is mostly one big troll. And if I had to guess it seems more like something that was Ralph’s idea than Stu’s.

Starts off with the Freedom Fighters bumrushing Mombi and then she puts that old voodoo on all of them. She knocks out Kevin first with a brain beam and then does something with the rest of the Oz cast. Only Mary and the dog seem to escape getting hit.

But before we get to those results, it cuts back to Peter losing against the gob boss. Fortunately for him Dorothy smashes the gob boss in the back of the head with a rock saving him, before they foolish run back to the dungeons to save Ozma.

Meanwhile Ozma and Wog are currently in Munchkinland where the munchies are falling all over themselves for her. They always were her favorite. Naturally the Mayor of Munchkinland is all for lending his support. Well 3 out of 4 ain’t bad.

But let’s get back to what Mombi did because that’s the fun part.

So what she did is transport the lot of them to Earth and oh boy is it fun.

First thing that happens is they pop up in the middle of a busy street where Jack gets hit and his melon run over by a truck. He’s pumpkin paste (again). 

There’s a brief comment about the vehicles resembling armored wheeler which were a not so nice race that lived in Ev from the OG books. They also appeared in the Return to Oz movie as Nome King henchmen. Sort of surprised they didn’t bring them back for that again.

Anyway next monkey boy isn’t paying attention to the fact there’s power lines while he’s trying to get above the fast traffic situation. Electrocutes himself.

Meanwhile the rest of the group has all scattered into pairs and they don’t fair much better.

Lion and Hungry Tiger get riddled with bullets on the street by some cops that probably thought they were just big black dudes by mistake.

Amber and Jinjur get attacked by some gang members while running through an alley. The leader having a giant swastika on his forehead and imply he wants to RAPE Jinjur just to emphasize how evil he really is. He doesn’t actually do that though since she puts up enough of a fight for him to just outright shank her to death. Amber takes out a couple, but he gets beaten to death as well.

The last two are the Scarecrow and Tin Man who while immune to bullets and knives, they aren’t safe either. Special forces, an attack helicopter and a fucking TANK comes after them both.

“Is this this earth nothing but a WAR WORLD?” - Tin Man

Why yes, yes it is.

Anyway, the Scarecrow gets a flamethrower discharged at him, burning him up. Finally the Tin Man gets his lower half blown off by the tank before it rolls over him.

Then it shows the dead faces of all of them with this text:

“ For all their might and abilities in the magical land of Oz, this brave band of Freedom Fighters could not possibly face and survive the dangers of a modern day earth. An earth that is brutal and harsh with technology so advanced as to seem like magic itself. And now we can only wonder what hope is left in the land of Oz if its greatest heroes are gone.”

Wait this reminds me of something. Oh yeah this:

“With this character’s death, the light is gone and darkness now covers everything. Reload a saved game to restore the light or persist in this doomed world you have created.”

So next page is all of them still very much alive, just trapped in the Mombi mindfuck spell she cast on all of them. She’s actually using the mental images of earth from Kevin’s mind to fuck the rest of them up.

Mary attempts to rush her, but Mombi’s got Baba Yaga strength and starts choking her ass out with one hand while still mindfucking everyone else. She’s also going on about ruling Oz herself.

However, she’s then attacked by Max the dog, her one weakness! Mombi’s spell is broken and she even does a semi “This would’ve worked if not for that meddling dog” quip.

Kevin tells her she’s got bigger things to worry about, but Max begins to speak like he’s people and says nope, she was afraid of him the most.

This causes some shock from Kev and Mary and then Max begins to explain that he’s basically become more aware since they got to Oz, but he never revealed himself until now because it was his destiny to follow his master like a good boy to wherever that would eventually lead. Which was to Mombi eventually.

Now that he’s free of that destiny, he can also speak freely.

As Kev and Mary try to wrap their minds around this, there’s suddenly a big shake up. Like a REALLY big shake up. It’s a huge ass earthquake that affects all of Oz. The Nome King’s power on display. Basically it fucks up all four of the major territories, but there’s one place in particular it fucks up.

The home of the late Hektor Hammerhead (Remember him?) is so utterly destroyed by the quake that ALL of his people are flat-out genocided.

And nothing of value was lost. No, seriously according to the OG books, all of those guys are fucking assholes. Hektor was probably the “friendliest” one you see and he died so quick that you didn’t really get invested in his death. Never mind the fact he wasn’t from the books anyway.

That’s it for this issue.

A page of rambling by Chet this time going on about talking animals in the OG books so they had been planning for Max to do a sudden hero reveal from the start.

Issue 14: Battle Royale

Oh no, we aren’t going to be fooled again by a cover like this

Okay so we start this one off with the flying monkey king Reynar approaching Em City with his army since they finally got up off their rainbow colored asses to do something about the Nome King.

They bust in on NK who asks what they have to make all of Oz shake as much as it did. This confuses Monkey King since he figured it was NK (And it was) but it doesn’t matter since they’re putting an end to his reign.

NK pulls out another secret he’s been keeping which is the CAP. He puts it on and immediately takes control of the monkeys. One can only assume he pretended to not know who took the cap before so Mombi wouldn’t know he had it.

As far as NK is concerned now, he’s just going to wreck the shit out of Oz if he can’t rule it at all.

Mombi’s already escaped,and the Freedom Fighters assemble (Amber actually says this) but Abella goes flying off to join his brainwashed kin.

Meanwhile Ozma and Wog are sitting with the Gillikin and Munchkin leaders, waiting for the Winkies. There’s some discussion and disagreement, but nothing important other than Mayor Munchkin being a fucktard about the power of “Goodness” which is the same sort of thinking that lead to this situation in the first place. Eventually Johnny Dooit arrives with his steampunk machines and most importantly an improved Tik Tok.

Cut back to the Freedom Fighters following monkey boy and soon learn that NK has the CAP and a big battle between the FF and Monkeys ensues. NK’s staff gets destroyed in the scuffle.

During all this Kevin finally realizes what MIGHT have been going on between Amber and Mary. He sees Amber acting all brave like he normally does and thinks he’s showing off for Mary so Kevin starts trying to out do him. Amber reminds him that he’s not the enemy here and to keep his mind focused. Lion fights a particularly large monkey, though he spanks it hard.

Nome King is busy blaming all his failures on his lackies as usual, so he starts fucking with the stone and rocks magically to toss the FF around and let the monkeys gain the advantage again. 

Cut to…well nobody we’ve seen before. Or we have, just not the leaders. It’s the goblins again.

King Goblin Kraylor is talking with his shaman Krakatos who apparently was the one in the hooded cloak that gave the gold to the nome that gave him a vial of blood several issues ago. He states he’s got all the ingredients to bring forth a creature so WICKED that the magic will do what the goblin army couldn’t do in a lifetime.

He mixes the powder of life and blood of Ozma together and magically brings forth the new powerful ally for the goblins.

Cut to Peter and Dorothy who arrive just in time to see the FF and NK fighting. Dorothy recognizes the CAP and sneakily grabs the cap from NK since his back is turn to her and Peter. She then tosses it to Peter leaving the Nome King without his monkeys anymore.

He attempts to go for his Belt of Wishes, but that gets ripped off him by Reynar and causes his pants to fall down. (No not really, would’ve been a funny humiliation though)

At this point NK is screaming about having lost all his power, wondering how this could’ve happened and that he’s completely DOOMED, which the rest don’t argue with saying he’s spending the rest of his days in a prison that will hold even him.

Really have to wonder where the fuck all his nomes were during all of this. Surely some of them could’ve helped out.

Anyway that’s it for this issue, no reader mail or editor/creator ramblings in this one.

Issue 15: Victory?

A wrap around cover and they couldn't at least fit Gump in the background?

The finale to this arc at last.

So now everyone is taunting NK saying he’s going to pay for his crimes and Max unleashes some speech about him accepting his fate and such. NK remarks that maybe he’s correct, but given that he ruled over Oz for 10 years, do they really expect him to just give up like it was losing a game of cards?

He doesn’t have his artifacts, but he’s still got his stone magic and encloses himself in a stone barrier stating that he’s still got a powerful army of nomes and it won’t be long before they arrive. Reynar tries to attack from above, but NK encloses his arm in stone. Nobody can really get to him inside, though at this point a couple of nomes run in to give him the bad news.

Ozma and the rest have breached the gates of Oz and are kicking the shit out of the nome army. The FF tell him now it’s really over, but he won’t come out. They still continue to try to break the stone spines surrounding him, but only the Scarecrow’s crows manage to get in at all. Eventually they rip out an eye and Abella smashes the stone with a mace (Should’ve thought about that before)

Anyway it’s all a bit for naught as the Nome King has tunneled his way out straight down. Meanwhile Abel’s hurt enough he’s gotta get patched up, while his dead just up and dies, but not before he apologizes to his son for not making up with him sooner and at least glad there’s a worthy successor to the throne.

So NK got away, but he still lost an eye in the process which has now turned to stone. His nome army is also defeated and flees.

Abella takes his dead dad and the rest of the monkeys back to monkey land. He’s gotta bury his dad and rebuild the entire culture and says it’s going to be a long time before any of them return to Oz again.

And it’s at this point some old guy who looks like a wizard suddenly appears. He says the Nome King must’ve been finally defeated. He had no idea it would take this long.

Dorothy instantly recognizes him as the Wizard.

Peter and Kevin are like “You’re the wizard?” Mary asks how they know him at all and they state he’s the old geezer they bought the book from that lead them here in the first place and the Wizard explains that they were sent to Oz on purpose.

After some other characters speak on things, Amber talks to Mary who is going to be heading back to earth. Amber asks her directly if she really loves Kevin. She stumbles over her words a bit until finally giving a straight answer of she doesn’t know. (Big surprise there)

And she says that this whole adventure has changed some things and she might just need to go home to be alone for awhile. 

Amber takes all this in stride stating that he needs to stay anyway as his duty calls and while it pains him that she’s leaving, he’s not stopping her even though he’s grown to care for her and all that other emotional shit.

He states that he know his chivalry makes her uncomfortable too, but then she smiles and says she kind of likes it. (Again big surprise there)

And in Chadly fashion he smiles back saying he’s glad she survived and now he has other duties to attend to and goes off with Tik Tok to free Nome King prisoners from the dungeons.

If Amber had been a werewolf (or vampire) Mary definitely would’ve stayed.

Jinjur meanwhile is taking charge of the situation and stating that they need to get to rebuilding Oz immediately. The trio agree, though Ozma has gone back to happy happy joy joy says “Why so serious? Let’s all have a party with the munchkins and have an orgy instead!” (Alright she doesn’t suggest an orgy, Garth Ennis didn’t write this after all)

Cut to a bunch of goblins traveling into Quadling country and then getting promptly stopped by Quad guards.

A small skirmish ensues, but the Gob Shaman insists on speaking rather than fighting. He says they aren’t here to fight though the Quads aren’t convinced by this what with them being gobs and all. The gob shaman says they’ve already struck an alliance with the Bane Wolves (Remember them?) and are seeking another alliance with the Quadlings and they can unite against the likes of Ozma and usurpers like the Nome King and rule Oz like it should be.

The Quads still aren’t convinced so the Goblin King comes out of his covered wagon stating they could’ve just killed all of them without blinking, but instead they didn’t and wish to speak directly with the Quad prince to decide who is be trusted and who will make good allies.

Last scene is the group of gobs and quads heading to the Hall of Princes.

And that’s it for the issue.

There’s another “Ozitorial” (Though I’ve been calling them ramblings) by Chet. He mostly goes on about the new direction Oz will be taking. Which is never a good sign when it comes to Caliber or Arrow comics and usually means it’s going to get horse fucked.

So there’s mention of another prequel mini-series coming up which is going to be done by all the original guys. Specifically the artwork which is going to be different in the main story going forward. I haven’t said much about the art that’s been used up until now, but it’s fine and I definitely prefer it over the new art they use in the next five issue. 

I assume they had to use different artists to do the main story and the prequel story at the same time.

However, we’ll save the next five issues of the main story for the update after the next one. I’ll go over both prequel mini-series next post. Stay tuned!

He was doing a ritual to prevent getting instakilled. It's like one of those horror videogames where you have to keep doing something periodically to ward off the abominations.

Anyway praise will work on me for awhile, can't promise his chances with the other 11 admins though. Plus I'm also prone to just kill people for the lolz at times (Like tagging me 3 times) so it doesn't always work.

I dunno, the name TypedRooster, just makes you sound more like a cock.

He's German if that helps with the insults.

In fact he even made a story with a Nazi protagonist!

Here. You guys can continue in the lounge, that other thread is for teaching the noobs their first steps in calling people retarded and this bit is showing the more advanced class already.

Sort of surprised nobody old here mentioned it yet, but we actually were selling merchandise awhile ago. Might be doing it again some time, though it's up to MHD since she was in charge of that.

Apparently a lot of schools do this now.

Like half the noobs that are snot nosed kids only have access to computers with various blocks on them. (Images and/or text) It's one of the main reason why a lot end up at this site. Apparently this place is so fucking old in design it bypasses a lot of filters.

If you're into killer clowns murdering the shit out of people in various gruesome and bloody ways, there aren't many other movies in that killer clown genre that match it in that regard.

Art the Clown definitely has already established himself up there in horror icon status with the OGs like Jason, Freddy, Michael, etc.