SpartacustheGreat, The Wordsmith
"I survived because the fire inside burned brighter than the fire around me. I fell down into that dark chasm, but the flame burned on and on."
A man and his flag. Fallout Fanfic
Recent PostsNew Contest Theme: Lone Hero on 8/18/2019 1:44:53 PM
Coins' motivational thread 4 contest on 8/13/2019 4:04:53 AM
Word count: 8,722
I'm so screwed
The Final Judge on 7/28/2019 11:27:43 AM
He gets it when he can. It's very hard to find in Africa, so Happy takes his sweet time chewing whenever he gets some.
The Final Judge on 7/28/2019 10:43:14 AM
Name: Chef Pastor Doctor Jonas "Happy" Johnson
Bio: Chef Pastor Doctor Jonas Johnson is a Liberian ex-warlord who has fought in over a dozen military conflicts in Africa. During his time as a general in the Liberian People's Liberation Army, Johnson was widely known for brutally cannibalizing captive soldiers and civilians, his kill count going up into the thousands after decades of brutal slaughter. He earned the monikor "Happy" due to his jovial nature throughout his campaigns of terror. He would often be heard cheerfully whistling some merry tune while stirring a piping hot pot of "soldier stew". His terror would finally come to an end after his crushing defeat by government forces at the Battle of Nambika, where every single one of his soldiers were in turn cannibalized by government soldiers. Why Johnson himself did not meet the same fate is not publically known, but there have been rumors that the cannibal warlord deliberately led his men to their deaths- in order to save his own life.
Regardless, Johnson came out of the battle a reformed man and vowed to change his ways. He has sworn off violence and eventually turned to both religion and medicine, swearing to never again kill another person with his blood-stained hands. Following the practices of Jesus and medicine, Johnson excelled at both, eventuallly earning titles in both fields. General Johnson was no more. In his place rose the right honorable Pastor Doctor Happy Johnson.
In addition to his other skills, Johnson found that through years of cooking with flesh, he had developed quite the eye for the culinary arts. He quickly rose to fame throughout Africa with his chain restaurant "Happy's Hungry!", which specialized in all manner of stews, sandwiches, roasts, briskets, and more. Of course, Happy was never one to let others do his dirty work for him. He is known for working side by side with his employees in his restauarants, eating the same food and cooking as they do. Sometimes, he can even be seen stirring an enormous cauldron of stew, whistling a cheery tune throughout.
Coins' motivational thread 4 contest on 7/28/2019 5:46:21 AM
Word count: 779
Coins' motivational thread 4 contest on 7/20/2019 8:21:23 AM
I was coerced and enslaved and now am being forced to write an entry under the threat of being twice shamed. This is bs.
New Contest Theme: Lone Hero on 7/19/2019 7:12:54 AM
What the crap is this nonsense
A Letter to the Next Poster on 7/18/2019 11:47:30 AM
Great, just in time for dinner. I'll be over in a flash.
Dear Next Poster,
Can jet fuel melt steel beams? Depending on your answer you are enlightened or one of the sheeple.
New Contest Theme: Lone Hero on 7/18/2019 8:29:15 AM
I'm sorry but what you ask is impossible
New Contest Theme: Lone Hero on 7/18/2019 7:42:55 AM
I may or may not join in the near future