kardymon, The Reader
Just your friendly neighborhood Spy-dymon!
Recent PostsMight as well say hello on 9/16/2019 12:59:37 AM
I made an account here just to take a bow in the Sammy thread, but I've been looking around the site since then and this is a pretty cool place. I'm not much of a forums user but I'll be around awhile to read stories. And I guess I'll just be kardymon from now on since I've gained some small number of reputation points with it here. No one would recognize my Cog name and it was always embarassing anyway...I was 14 when I made it. Nuff said.
btw I posted the first page of a horror story I started in the Writing Workshop section. It's a twist on a haunted house story and I've never tried writing anything like this before so if you have a moment I'd really appreciate if any of you could take a look at it and give me advice.
Please read and give advice on my horror story. on 9/16/2019 12:52:49 AM
This is the first page of my first serious attempt at a horror story, any feedback would be welcome. I don't use forums much or share my work often but I am looking for ways to improve and I like the environment here. It's a haunted house story...sort of... There's a mystery to uncover and more to be explained later on. Thanks to mizal for the help with punctuation and I've tried to add your suggestions, let me know what you think.
I'm just writing this on Infinite Story for now because I thought of it as mostly as an ordinary novel at first, but I'm trying to come up with ideas for more choices and I'll move it over here if I can do that.
The title is Dream House.
Chase Warren was a very uninteresting boy. He made straight Bs in class and never got into trouble. He never had a dog or cat, only a goldfish his sister named Glubbo. Without anyone really noticing, he grew up into a very uninteresting adult. He worked at Walmart, talking to people all day but never really talking to anyone. He liked to ride his bike, draw, and play board games, and he never tried to argue about it when his girlfriends thought he was too boring and left him. He liked to read, but only read non fiction. So when the letter with the real estate office's official stamp arrived in the mail, he didn't recognize the signs of how weird things were about to get.
"Mr. Chase Warren," it read.
"Our office has been trying for some time to find you. As the only living relative of Matthew Warren, Jr., you've come into the possession of the Warren Estate, located in the town of Vagary, Maine. You'll find a map and directions to our office there enclosed. Because of the peculiarities of this case and the wishes of your great uncle, we'll need to meet with you in person to proceed any further. Please call if you have any questions."
Well of course he had lots of questions. "What the heck? Is this some kind of scam or what? I don't even have a great uncle," he muttered to himself. He almost threw the letter away. Then his curiosity got the better of him and he called his mom instead. It was then he learned that his father, long deceased, had been adopted. So this Matthew Warren, Jr., had been his father's biological uncle. It seemed a long shot that someone he'd never met that, as far as he knew his father hadn't had much contact with either would go through the trouble of leaving him anything, but then again he'd known very little about his father and there could be more to the story. It was at least enough to make him give the number a call, after looking it up and seeing the real estate agency was a real one in Maine.
He was answered by a man named Luke Bronson who seemed excited to hear from him and knowledgeable about the situation. "We've been looking for you for three years. You were originally supposed to inherit the house back when you turned 18. How soon can you be down here to sign the paperwork?"
"Whoa, slow down. The address is over a thousand miles away. How do I know this is even real? And I'll have to take off work and everything..."
"With all due respect, Mr. Warren. You're about to inherit an entire house, and it's one of considerable value even without factoring in the antique furniture inside. I've also been authorized to advance whatever funds are needed to smooth the transfer of the property along. Meaning I can book a hotel at the nearest place to us with an airport and arrange a rental car."
Chase paused before he answered. It all sounded too good to be true.
"Uh, authorized by who? Where is this money coming from?"
"The groundskeeper of the estate has been in the service of Mr. Matthew Warren for decades, and he was the one entrusted with upkeeping the house and the funds to do so for an indefinite length of time. He's just as eager to see the property transferred over as we are however, we'd all like to see this matter resolved."
Chase took a deep breath, running his fingers through his blond and brown streaked hair. “Sorry, but this all seems so crazy and out of nowhere to me. I never knew anything about my dad’s biological family...he was adopted and well, he didn’t leave this one on the best of terms either.”
That was an understatement. His dad had driven into the lake with Chase as a three year old still strapped in the carseat. Only the chance of a passing Good Samaritan with lifeguard experience had been able to save them. Afterward his dad had disappeared from the hospital. Everyone said he must have had some kind of psychotic break or gotten amnesia and wandered off. There never was any way to know whether they’d both nearly drowned on accident of if it had been deliberate. Chase of course had been too young to remember anything, and his life sense then had been blessedly dull.
“Mr. Warren, I understand completely,” Luke said soothingly. “It’s a lot for anyone to take in at once. But there are certain time sensitive matters involved in this, and of course this has been a property we’ve had to deal with, at no profit, for three years now. I think the entire process will be simpler than you think if you’d just come on up to the office. We can’t go forward with anything just over the phone.”
"Fine. But if this is some kind of scam: I work at Walmart, I have no freaking money! There's nothing you can get out of me."
Luke made a sound over the line that was lost in a burst of static, but it sounded like a chuckle. "I will certainly keep that in mind.”
That night Chase dreamed of riding his bike. He rode out of the city and down a long winding road through an idyllic countryside. Up ahead was THE HOUSE. No matter how many twists and turns the road took, THE HOUSE was always right in front of him. He rode across a bridge, on a walkway along a river, then through a dark tunnel through a mountain with unblinking red eyes watching him from all sides. When he came out again THE HOUSE which should have been left behind on the other side was still right there on a hill against the horizon, more ominous and unavoidable than ever. The patches of farmland had turned into squares on a literal quilt, green and gold. There were embroidered letters in rusty brown that he couldn’t make out, undulating across its surface. What he could read however were the words painted in giant letters on the road itself, that he drove over one by one. STOP. DEAD END. TURN BACK. WRONG WAY.
And finally: TOO LATE.
Chase woke up and gave a huge yawn, rubbing at his eyes. Some remnant of a dream flickered through his mind. He remembered a patchwork countryside and a creeping sensation of dread. He had an idea some hulking, alien thing had been crouched up ahead, but the memory of whatever it had actually been was gone.
After breakfast, he picked up the phone and called Luke Bronson again at the time they’d agreed on. It was time to arrange how to travel to the house. After all he couldn’t exactly just ride his bike there.
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.
The first choices after this will be whether to take a plane straight there and go on to the original idea I had, or else you can drive there with your friends and get a different plot with the story more about the trip and someone mysterious trying to stop you from even reaching the house.
CYS Dev Thread on 9/15/2019 10:41:03 PM
This is dope.
How Did You Find CYS? on 9/13/2019 6:16:32 PM
I followed the trail of omnidirectional vitriol.
Let's Play: Tally Ho, by Gower on 9/11/2019 11:10:07 PM
I had not intended to post again but this is just sad. Gower, you're the only mod I like. Hang in there man,
Sam's Suicidal Saga on 9/9/2019 6:37:10 PM
You're welcome you crazy bastards.