Hi guys, I wanted to get familiar with the CYOA editor on this site and wrote a short story, Grounded!, where you have to survive the day while at the same time watching over your sibling. I was wondering if I could get some feedback for some aspects and maybe some general tips. I hope the story is not too short for this site, according to the statistics 31 pages is below average, but I am still curious to your opinion.
Link:
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/grounded~21
° I hope I gave it the corrrect tag and info. I was not 100% sure if Modern Adventure was the correct category (on which it is now), or that I should have placed it in Everything Else. I hope people find it a humourus little story, but I find that hard to guess. Furthermore, I gave the game a 3/8 for maturity level, but I do swear in it (fuck and shit are the two particular instances). Is 3/8 fine or too low?
° Going back on the swearing, how do you feel about that those two swears were used in the story? I am still not sure if I can leave it like this, or if it is better to try to avoid it at all (in the context of the rest of the game)
° I do wonder about the length of my paragraphs. Sometimes they can be really short. Is it dissapointedly short, or is it reasonable?
° Of course I need to ask the mandatory, how is my English usage? Grammar and spelling wise. I did read it over, but if I missed anything, please let me know.
° Additionally, I do worry about not using enough synonyms, especially concerning the word 'sister'.
These were my specific questions about my story. I have another about the editor. You can added chapters, and that is nice for overview purposes. But can you add existing pages to a new chapter? Additionally, can you move around the pages? So, move the place on position #5 to #3 for instance.
I hope you enjoyed the CYOA and felt there was at least a bit of a choice. Please let me know what you thought of it.
