Player Comments on A tale of love and hate..

Although this story was well written, it's very different from the typical CYOA found on this site- not that that's necessarily a bad thing!

For me, the main issues were spacing, length of paragraphs, and lack of choice (I only came across two real decisions).

Concerning the first two, to give you an idea: when I originally opened this story, I was immediately taken aback by the huge paragraphs on the page. I often found myself skimming through lines- but not because the story was boring. I only did so because of the gargantuan size they ended up accumulating to. I would recommend that, if you were to make a story in the future, you used proper spacing- it's a great way to convey emotion and separate ideas.

As for choice, you have to remember that this site *is* called "Choose your Story"! When there are only three endings that you have to offer- as you say in your summary- the story becomes very linear- as you also happen to say. This would not be an issue if the choices weren't so... clear, for lack of a better word. When choices immediately lead to cookie-cutter endings, it becomes quite bland. It also makes the reader feel like the true ending is Helena's- which is something you don't want to do. Try to make each choice feel solid.

However, apart from this, the only flaws I could find were an underuse of commas where needed, and not separating the dialogue with spacing. Be that as it may be, this is still one of the better stories on this site. I congratulate you on writing it, and give it a 5/8.

:)

Definitely a lot more story than game. However, it is an amazing story and it made me melt on the inside. There were no grammatical errors, just a few missing spaces. Overall, I really loved this, it reads like a classy romance and is perfect for a hopeless romantic. If you're looking for a little more spice, I recommend you check out some other stories though.

7/8

A very wholesome romance and a very good storyline! You got to stay true to those who’ve always stayed true to you.

awwwwwww

love it

Call me a heartless bastard, but I didn't feel anything. It was a lot of telling how perfect they were for each other, you know, but I didn't feel that much chemistry between the two main lovebirds.

I love this story because for some reason I love to do this type of stuff.

Can´t think of anything else, so take this generic comment...
This was good!

crying my eyes out omg so cute

One of the best stories I ever read

horrible say something about s**

your the worst writer and it was too long it took me 100 years to finish this story

That was cool

it was a cute story but it had no back bone. i chose to stay true to Helene because love is nothing if not durable, but it didn't make me feel anything. The story dragged me along with cold indifference, and honestly it was just boring. i wouldnt totally recommend but if you just want a quick thing to do if youre bored then go ahead.

so romantic

not good

Wow. I was completely caught off guard on the first page simply because of how long it was! I had to change my thought process from the "fast-paced" decisions to more "story-based" decisions. When I made the switch, though, I really enjoyed the story. It was well written and, of course, I'm a sucker for love so my opinion is a bit biased. *wink*

This is a very nice game, I don't mind the long paragraphs. I loved the way this was written, and the endings which you could choose.

Thank you for the beautiful story. I haven't been lucky in love and, therefore, don't read romantic stuff. But...I read your story and liked it. :)

Really good teaches that true love isn't like the illusions of society and isn't about lust or greed and true love leads to true happiness

lovely fantastic romantic amazing story line loved it

Amazing just amazing, in the routes that left Ferdinand with someone else other than Helen I felt so sad for Helen especially Nicole's Route.

You are A great Writer.

so nice >_<

Very well done, not too many choices but it was a very good story :)

It was simple, realistic and yet very enchanting :)

This was a amazing story

I left Hellene for Nicole. Ha! It was nice... NOT. Quite short, but a sweet story. I guess.

It is a very sweet story it actually tells me a lot about life,about patience and I really love these kind of stories and even if story was real and they would make a movie I will be the first one sitting there with a wide smile watching this story I will take it to the oscars if I could really a good job ????????

I stuck with Helene through the end. . .
Very nice plot and over all story.

A nice story. ends a bit quick, but leaves you satisfied.

Quite short, but I still love it.

I didn't rate this as high as I normally would because I love choices in a story game and I don't like pages to be so long. In a normal book it is fine, I have no problems with long books, but for some reason it really bothers me, it's nothing personal. On the other hand it was a beautifully written story with great character development. I hope I helps and keep writing:)

Very nicely done. It would be easier to read if there were a few more paragraph breaks though.

I liked this game a lot but possessing way too much free time for my own good I've got too much feedback for a comment box so I'll message it to read or delete as you like :) Great game though, good writing and plot :D

Please leave your comments and criticism, good or bad. It will help me improve my next stories. Thank you. :-)