Player Comments on Fireteam
It was a little short in my opinion. I played through two paths, but none of them really set the scene or dramatic tension. There was the issue of linearity, where wrong choices almost certainly seemed to result in instant death. You had three different branching paths at the start, which is definitely promising. What might be beneficial is to have situations where making a poor choice causes punishments besides instant death, such as losing the element of surprise later in the game, or losing specific abilities due to having to abandon equipment. If some of these are present in another branch, I didn't get around to it. Ultimately, aside from wanting to win there was no real reason to care about any of the protagonists. I'd like to have seen more personality and exposition before we got into the mission so when I lost a squad mate, it felt like I was losing a comrade and not an inventory item.
That all being said, it was well written overall. I would have liked more detail, but multiple pathways did add replay value and the two paths I played had a very distinctly different flavor. I look forward to your next submission.
on 9/10/2017 3:25:38 PM
Not bad, but there could have been some improvements to this game. I liked the pictures and the writing of this story. It seems like you know a lot about how the military works... or just played a lot of SOCOM, both I respect mind you. The main problem this game had was the linearity; one bad move and you are dead, but I guess that's how it is like in real life. Still, I think there should be different strategies you could have used to rescue the captives, for example infiltrating the prison stealthily or guns blazing. As it stands, the game was a fun way to waste ten minutes.
on 7/4/2015 8:34:49 PM
this story is illegal by ssite standards theres a no link page
on 10/8/2017 9:45:51 AM
I'm not sure if you're aware, but it is possible to have more than one paragraph on a page. It doesn't have to be one giant chunk of text.
For what it's worth, I liked it, and I would have liked it more if you hadn't had missing links on some of your endings. It could be much longer, too. This was too short for me to feel much from it.
on 9/20/2017 5:15:47 AM
It was a fun story game, my only problem being that it was too linear. Other than that, the writing was fine and the plot moved along swiftly.
-- The negative on 9/15/2017 9:08:20 AM
Commander Tarbo to the rescue!!!
-- Tarbo134 on 3/29/2017 12:53:35 AM
Short and sweet, I like the war storygames a lot. I wish there were more choices and more character and scene development, but I guess there was less space to squeeze that in for you.
on 10/7/2016 12:38:35 PM
It was OK. If it was a first storygame for this guy.
on 3/10/2016 5:02:31 PM
Deads have no end game link, leaving the sloppy default look. Also, set up an ambush, didn't ambush anybody. Plot hole!
on 11/10/2015 10:42:45 PM
It should have been longer, other than that it was good. Well written, I liked the technical details. Rico got killed though...
on 11/9/2015 11:39:09 PM
I liked it. It seemed realistic but not enough impactful decisions and had a few instant deaths.
on 10/26/2015 6:37:30 PM
This was decent, but it could've been much much better.
on 7/22/2015 5:03:01 PM
It's short but not bad! Keep up the good work and Semper Fi!
on 3/25/2015 5:11:59 AM
on 12/4/2014 2:25:02 PM
Ugh, big block of text is a total reader-killer. At least split it into paragraphs. Your game isn't even finished either, stumbled upon more than one dead end.
on 2/22/2014 9:55:12 PM
Cool beginning to a war story, Make a sequel!
on 2/19/2014 1:05:56 PM
on 12/10/2013 6:10:26 PM
on 8/31/2013 11:01:02 PM
Pretty good. I would suggest making it longer. I still enjoyed it.
on 5/9/2013 3:42:08 PM
Your paragraphs were waaaayyyyy too long and I became disinterested quickly. Not that it was a bad game, but you had too much description concentrated into too few pages. I found I wanted to end the game as soon as possible just so I could leave a comment and get it over with. However, the concept is original and the addition of pictures was cool. Good job, but it needs polishing.
on 5/9/2013 1:19:36 PM
ot a bad plot, but I wish there were more descriptions, dialogue and not to forget, a longer story. Maybe this can be Cahpter one in a serie. Good work otherwise. 4/8.
on 2/7/2013 7:30:55 AM
Seth says NO!!! It was short and easy!! I finished it after a couple pages and cot the mission done!! 2/8
on 11/6/2012 8:40:48 AM
on 5/26/2012 11:49:10 AM
short but not bad 6/8
on 5/22/2012 9:53:43 AM
3/8 nuff said
on 2/27/2012 9:50:23 AM
on 11/20/2011 5:45:30 PM
I won first try..too short.
on 10/30/2011 8:19:04 AM
That was pretty awesome. I didn't even have that many problems with the grammar in your story, great job dude 6/8
on 10/15/2011 5:21:07 PM
Very, very bad.
-- Someguy on 9/28/2011 1:04:19 PM
on 9/28/2011 1:23:54 AM
on 9/27/2011 2:44:23 PM
Pretty Intense even though I failed the first time!
on 9/27/2011 1:29:47 PM