Love & Dating
, #12 for
played 7,554 times (finished 359)
"walk in the park"
"A nice jog down the driveway"
"appropriate for all ages"
Stories with this maturity level will not, by design, have any potentially objectionable content. An example of a type story with this rating would be a quiz on mathematics.
A story about new love.
It seems we skipped some important details here xD This game was written well, but there wasn't much depth to the actual story to say the least. I would've liked to see the relationship actually progress before seeing words like marriage and such :l
This story was decent for what it was, I suppose. Things just ended rather abrubtly, and more details about the love interest would've been much appreciated. The writing wasn't bad by any means, it just feels like quite a bit more could have been added to make this feel like more of a complete story.
on 10/28/2016 12:56:48 PM
Hmm... Where should I begin with this?
I don't normally play this storygames, but the name "Forgotten Rose" intrigued me enough, so I decided to head over and see what this is.
First of all, you can immediately tell the future of the storygame with your writing. With choices like "Do you go for coffee, or leave" or "Do you wait for them, or leave" You know exactly which one leads to true love, and which one doesn't. Also, the story was very short and therfore abrupt. One minute I'm having friendly coffee with someone, and then the next, I'm engaged, married, and living a good/better life.
The writing was okay-ish, with no grammar mistakes as far as I could see. However still, (and this is a common problem) there isn't much descriptivity. And I mean at all. The writing is bland enough, you don't describe anything. The reader doesn't know what the character is thinking, how the girl looks like, whether she has blue eyes or not, what the character thinks about traffic, what the assaliant looks like, whether the assaliant is a one-eyed lizard with pork chops for teeth...etc. I feel as though you could've added onto your writing and and made it more vivid, as to paint an image in the reader's mind. Try using descriptive tongue next time.
This last point is kind of short, but still important, and its the use of cliche things in this story. For example, let's look at your title, "Forgotten Rose". As far as I know, this story never mentions a character named "Rose"... or any characters at all. How is Rose forgetful? What does that even mean? It has no correlation to this story whatsoever, really. It just seems like a cliche, steamy romance-y Valentine's title.
So, with a short story, a title that is cliche and makes no sense, bland writing, I give this a 4/8. Keep trying, and please use descriptive writing.
-- Fazz on 8/4/2014 4:35:56 AM
Well the idea behind the game was good, but I think that if you're making a game about a character falling in love then the first part of the game should be about meeting them (unless they know them already), then the rest of the game should be about getting to know them and deciding if you like them or not. In this game all the character did was meet the man and then it skips right to the end where you fall in love and get married, which is kind of the important bit :p
on 11/16/2012 9:51:30 AM
I liked it, but there were only two endings and it was over in twenty seconds. I don't even know the name of this random stranger that I hooked up with. I think this story would benefit from having a larger range of endings and some more description, so that the reader doesn't feel like they're being pigeon-holed into something every time.
Really, it feels like this is just the story of a first encounter. Either you meet this random hot person, or you don't and that's it. I did find it a bit interesting that the protagonist is attracted to both men and women (since you can go for either) but I have a feeling that that wasn't deliberate on your part.
on 9/18/2017 8:36:30 AM
Could be better
-- Sammy on 5/4/2017 8:38:02 PM
forgotten rose. where is the rose?
-- magic land on 7/29/2016 1:05:20 PM
a little short
on 4/24/2016 10:26:56 PM
This is great!
on 1/15/2016 11:25:01 AM
Waaaaaay to rushed at the end
-- Snowdust on 12/25/2015 2:34:31 AM
Man, you have made a very good pick your path!
on 10/13/2015 9:34:37 PM
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