In a Cave...

Player Rating3.11/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 65 ratings since 04/27/2016
played 385 times (finished 72)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

You are in a cave.

It is dark.

You cannot seem to remember how you got there.

What do you do?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is my first Storygame, please enjoy

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am sorry for any grammar/mechanical errors I may have missed, please tell me about any you come across if it's not too much trouble.

 

The headings on the pages are only titles, and are not important to the story.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rated 4 for some mild spooky ness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please enjoy!

Player Comments

For your first storygame, it was neat. It seems that you understand how to make basic choices and allow the character to take different paths, which is always great. I liked that I could choose a variety of responses and get some different results. As for the story, it was interesting, but I wished that you had expanded it a bit more. It really caught my attention. About the writing, the constant, somewhat overly dramatic exclamations were a bit annoying (ex: Suddenly, you have fallen through open air! You went over a cliff!). I felt that you used too many exclamation points during the tense scenes, which negatively affected the experience. More detailed scenes would have been welcome. A description of the character's surroundings, emotions, etc. would have helped enhance the story (ex: Your feet slip and side on the edge of the rock. Whimpering, you flatten yourself against the side of the mountain. The wind rakes at your face as you squeeze your eyes shut, hands desperately clinging to the rocks. Even as the sharp edges dig into your palms, you only tighten your grip and bite your lip). The grammar was fine - I didn't catch too many spelling errors, so it made the game more fun to play.

Overall, I enjoyed this game, although I wished it had been longer. I feel that the story would be more exciting if you had more detailed scenes. Right now, it feels like the bare skeleton of a great plot - fleshing it out would be great. I hope that you keep writing and making games.
-- SummerSparrow on 5/1/2016 10:23:26 PM
This was good. There was a lot of branching and good grammar and writing, so you've at least got the basics down to a tee. It could've used more detail for a lot of it, such as descriptions and such, and could've been longer with a more substantial plot, but it was a good storygame in general.
-- Steve24833 on 4/28/2016 6:27:46 PM
Ok, that was a Choose your Own Adventure story :) I like the way you used the choices and the way you had different settings, events and situations to figure out, the story branched well and your writing was error-free and to the point, if a bit short in places at a sentence per page. Overall I'd give this 4/8, there was nothing particularly wrong with it except that it could have been longer, if you can write a story like this that is say three or four times the length with more characters and situations it'd be even better :)
-- Will11 on 4/27/2016 10:49:49 PM
it was a fun short game i havent tried all the paths yet though. . .
-- Stephano03 on 1/6/2017 7:10:11 PM
It was...interesting. And unexpected. I'll give it that at least.
-- Hello there on 6/26/2016 8:44:07 PM
This story does not make sense at all. I have a hundred questions per page pop up in my head that are rarely answered in this story. It really wasn't very good, sorry, try better next time, champ.
1/8
-- RedofPalletTown on 5/6/2016 6:11:53 PM
This was a neat short adventure, and I liked it a lot.
-- ScrubLord on 4/28/2016 12:56:41 AM
You need to fix your summary, those lines are incredibly annoying and it will distract from your game. This wasn't too bad of a first try, but I don't have time to do more than skim right now.
-- Kiel_Farren on 4/27/2016 10:33:07 PM
Show All Comments