In the Caverns

Player Rating3.07/8

"#502 overall, #9 for 2009"
based on 144 ratings since 07/13/2009
played 1,099 times (finished 153)

Story Difficulty3/8

"trek through the forest"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

The kingdoms Malish and Groga are caught in a horrible war. Ten Malishian warriors have been captured, imprisoned, and tortured by a horde of Grogaians. You, also a Malishian warroir, has come to their rescue. There are two main endings and, hopefully, I'll prepare a sequel for both. Now, go into the caverns and free your fellow Malishians.

Player Comments

I liked it.

There was enough detail for me to see a picture of what you were writing, and that's a big plus when it comes to storygames.

The backstory was a really nice thing to have and really helped with the character development, which there was a nice amount of by the way :D

I did spot a few grammar and spelling errors, but nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of proofreading. Overall the storygame was still great despite the errors.

It did seem very illogical at some points, such as the gnome murdering me for not eating his food and swallowing bones and fur and shit.

4/8, some errors but it was really good to be honest :)
-- MinnieKing on 3/21/2017 9:07:45 PM
I like how you began the story with the main character not at his best health, but I do wish I knew what his hardships were ahead of time to figure out how he came to be this way. Also, I felt more like I was reading a book rather than getting to choose anything; it was too linear. Also, it isn't that realistic that you would really try to eat a rat whole. First, if it as really a rat and not a mouse, you might not even be able to fit the entire thing in your mouth. Then trying to swallow the fur and bones was rather unrealistic. Biting the meat off and eating it raw, sure, but not even a starving person would swallow it whole. Logically, pulling it apart and eating the meat would be the bit more logical choice.
The story was pretty good, though, since you could understand how your surroundings felt; I just wish it was a bit longer.
-- jkulibert2 on 4/26/2011 6:12:34 PM
Pros:
Gives reader the feeling of actually being in caverns
Enjoyable plot reminiscent of classic CYOA books
Semi-polished backstory and action scenes

Cons:
Grammar and syntax lacking polish
Some random endings with no indications from the previous page
Not fleshed out enough, could have used a few more drafts
Too short, could have combined sequels and this into one game
-- urnam0 on 7/13/2009 6:55:47 PM
It seems harsh to kill people so early in the story just for eating a rat
-- IMB on 6/15/2017 4:04:28 PM
Why is it that everything leads you to being killed?
-- MrPiggyPants on 1/15/2016 8:42:05 PM
Ugh... Why are all of the stories that are continued like 2/8 length?
-- TheBossWriter on 12/17/2015 3:38:02 PM
Nice story. It was short, but I can't wait to see what the next one would be like. Keep writing :-)
-- dischead on 1/17/2015 4:51:12 AM
A good little dungeon story, the writing especially was strong. I would recommend making the story longer but mostly what there was I enjoyed.
-- Will11 on 11/12/2014 5:44:35 AM
Make it longer. And give a better sequel!
-- Il_Maestro on 8/31/2013 5:34:40 PM
Too short :(
-- Sloe on 8/16/2013 4:42:26 PM
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