Player Comments on In the Caverns
I liked it.
There was enough detail for me to see a picture of what you were writing, and that's a big plus when it comes to storygames.
The backstory was a really nice thing to have and really helped with the character development, which there was a nice amount of by the way :D
I did spot a few grammar and spelling errors, but nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of proofreading. Overall the storygame was still great despite the errors.
It did seem very illogical at some points, such as the gnome murdering me for not eating his food and swallowing bones and fur and shit.
4/8, some errors but it was really good to be honest :)
on 3/21/2017 9:07:45 PM with a score of 0
I like how you began the story with the main character not at his best health, but I do wish I knew what his hardships were ahead of time to figure out how he came to be this way. Also, I felt more like I was reading a book rather than getting to choose anything; it was too linear. Also, it isn't that realistic that you would really try to eat a rat whole. First, if it as really a rat and not a mouse, you might not even be able to fit the entire thing in your mouth. Then trying to swallow the fur and bones was rather unrealistic. Biting the meat off and eating it raw, sure, but not even a starving person would swallow it whole. Logically, pulling it apart and eating the meat would be the bit more logical choice.
The story was pretty good, though, since you could understand how your surroundings felt; I just wish it was a bit longer.
on 4/26/2011 6:12:34 PM with a score of 0
Gives reader the feeling of actually being in caverns
Enjoyable plot reminiscent of classic CYOA books
Semi-polished backstory and action scenes
Grammar and syntax lacking polish
Some random endings with no indications from the previous page
Not fleshed out enough, could have used a few more drafts
Too short, could have combined sequels and this into one game
on 7/13/2009 6:55:47 PM with a score of 0
It's an okay-ish game. I mean, maybe add more excitement to it.
-- Allison Myers on 4/15/2020 3:49:04 PM with a score of 0
IS THERE A WAY
DO YOU KNOW DA WAY
-- DEVIL on 1/15/2020 9:56:41 AM with a score of 0
it was good
-- hello on 1/10/2020 9:38:55 AM with a score of 0
This game was quite boring.
-- vbbfdxgasdfhsfdbgfv on 1/10/2020 9:34:55 AM with a score of 0
I am so confused can someone tell me how to do this?????!!
-- TXKH on 1/10/2020 8:07:38 AM with a score of 0
this is basically the story of ways to die
-- A person on 1/10/2020 7:59:03 AM with a score of 0
-- TXKH on 1/10/2020 7:53:17 AM with a score of 0
no matter what choice i put i kept dying...
-- . on 1/10/2020 7:51:43 AM with a score of 0
EAT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ON YOPUR SIGHT YOU GANGSER GRANNYS
-- aithne on 1/10/2020 7:50:57 AM with a score of 0
i died lmao
-- god on 1/8/2020 9:45:30 AM with a score of 0
-- v on 1/29/2019 7:16:13 AM with a score of 0
-- ellie on 1/29/2019 6:19:21 AM with a score of 0
this is sick bro. keep on doing what your doing.
-- mastermind on 1/25/2019 6:37:06 AM with a score of 0
its boring :/
-- daniel on 1/25/2019 6:18:41 AM with a score of 0
good game (GG)
-- remyh on 1/25/2019 6:12:34 AM with a score of 0
it was a bad ending
-- millie on 1/9/2018 7:18:01 AM with a score of 0
I think that this was SHIT I really disliked I thought it was a bit crappy it was very short and loads of hard spelling
-- kadey brigjht on 1/4/2018 9:11:18 AM with a score of 0
It seems harsh to kill people so early in the story just for eating a rat
-- IMB on 6/15/2017 4:04:28 PM with a score of 0
Why is it that everything leads you to being killed?
on 1/15/2016 8:42:05 PM with a score of 0
Ugh... Why are all of the stories that are continued like 2/8 length?
on 12/17/2015 3:38:02 PM with a score of 0
Nice story. It was short, but I can't wait to see what the next one would be like. Keep writing :-)
on 1/17/2015 4:51:12 AM with a score of 0
A good little dungeon story, the writing especially was strong. I would recommend making the story longer but mostly what there was I enjoyed.
on 11/12/2014 5:44:35 AM with a score of 0
Make it longer. And give a better sequel!
on 8/31/2013 5:34:40 PM with a score of 0
Too short :(
on 8/16/2013 4:42:26 PM with a score of 0
Decently written, and pretty interesting. But the story felt rushed and too short. Please write more.
on 3/29/2013 12:53:59 PM with a score of 0
Well it was kinda fun, but is annoying when you get short stories that are ended with the promise of a sequel that never comes.
on 11/29/2012 1:12:10 PM with a score of 0
That was really short. Also, if I'm a warrior, how can a little goblin club me to death? Still, good try!
on 10/27/2012 7:27:55 AM with a score of 0
on 6/7/2012 7:50:52 AM with a score of 0
-- awesome on 4/5/2012 8:25:34 PM with a score of 0
It was cool but, just when I was getting into it, it ended!!! Please come out with a sequel soon!
on 3/24/2012 5:57:33 PM with a score of 0
on 11/17/2011 4:13:01 AM with a score of 0
I thought the game was a little rushed. You didn't get to know the actual situation that much, too short in my opinion
on 9/11/2011 8:34:56 AM with a score of 0
It had potential but was cut short. 4/8
on 7/4/2011 9:17:08 PM with a score of 0
Bo dissaproves, feel the shame wash over you
on 5/10/2011 9:39:16 PM with a score of 0
The writing wasn't too bad and I was looking forward to seeing what I could do. When I made a "bad" choice I was gently steered onto the "good" path for the most part. But then I reached the end, in perhaps 3-4 choices, which doesn't make a lot of sense. What I would do is take the story down, edit it/extend it, and re-release it. Make it a complete story for both paths. It's too short otherwise. Looking forward to it.
on 10/6/2010 6:15:37 PM with a score of 0
i agree what JJJ said
on 9/2/2009 6:48:58 AM with a score of 0
Compared to other releases this is just absolutely incredible. On an actual scale, it's about a 3. You had an under-developed backstory which is better than none at all and you managed to have a somewhat decent structure to your pages, as well as actually using description. So it wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't good either. I never "got into it", but you do show potential. Also, this isn't long enough to be cut off. You're planning a sequel but it should have just been a continuation of this storygame. Sequels should really only attach themselves to a 7 length storygame or a REALLY good 6 length storygame. That's in the vicinity of two hundred good pages. This wasn't that.
on 8/4/2009 4:00:54 PM with a score of 0
much too short to give an experience
on 7/14/2009 2:15:40 AM with a score of 0