Player Comments on In the Caverns

I liked it.

There was enough detail for me to see a picture of what you were writing, and that's a big plus when it comes to storygames.

The backstory was a really nice thing to have and really helped with the character development, which there was a nice amount of by the way :D

I did spot a few grammar and spelling errors, but nothing that can't be fixed with a little bit of proofreading. Overall the storygame was still great despite the errors.

It did seem very illogical at some points, such as the gnome murdering me for not eating his food and swallowing bones and fur and shit.

4/8, some errors but it was really good to be honest :)

I like how you began the story with the main character not at his best health, but I do wish I knew what his hardships were ahead of time to figure out how he came to be this way. Also, I felt more like I was reading a book rather than getting to choose anything; it was too linear. Also, it isn't that realistic that you would really try to eat a rat whole. First, if it as really a rat and not a mouse, you might not even be able to fit the entire thing in your mouth. Then trying to swallow the fur and bones was rather unrealistic. Biting the meat off and eating it raw, sure, but not even a starving person would swallow it whole. Logically, pulling it apart and eating the meat would be the bit more logical choice.
The story was pretty good, though, since you could understand how your surroundings felt; I just wish it was a bit longer.

Pros:
Gives reader the feeling of actually being in caverns
Enjoyable plot reminiscent of classic CYOA books
Semi-polished backstory and action scenes

Cons:
Grammar and syntax lacking polish
Some random endings with no indications from the previous page
Not fleshed out enough, could have used a few more drafts
Too short, could have combined sequels and this into one game

I thought that this was a very good story and I enjoyed the nature aspect, this is a good recommendation

It's an okay-ish game. I mean, maybe add more excitement to it.

IS THERE A WAY
DO YOU KNOW DA WAY

it was good

This game was quite boring.

I am so confused can someone tell me how to do this?????!!

this is basically the story of ways to die

AWESOME#2!!!!!

no matter what choice i put i kept dying...

EAT EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ON YOPUR SIGHT YOU GANGSER GRANNYS

i died lmao

Wow

funny

this is sick bro. keep on doing what your doing.

its boring :/

good game (GG)

it was a bad ending

I think that this was SHIT I really disliked I thought it was a bit crappy it was very short and loads of hard spelling

It seems harsh to kill people so early in the story just for eating a rat

Why is it that everything leads you to being killed?

Ugh... Why are all of the stories that are continued like 2/8 length?

Nice story. It was short, but I can't wait to see what the next one would be like. Keep writing :-)

A good little dungeon story, the writing especially was strong. I would recommend making the story longer but mostly what there was I enjoyed.

Make it longer. And give a better sequel!

Too short :(

Decently written, and pretty interesting. But the story felt rushed and too short. Please write more.

Well it was kinda fun, but is annoying when you get short stories that are ended with the promise of a sequel that never comes.

That was really short. Also, if I'm a warrior, how can a little goblin club me to death? Still, good try!

Pretty well!

sweet

It was cool but, just when I was getting into it, it ended!!! Please come out with a sequel soon!

too short

I thought the game was a little rushed. You didn't get to know the actual situation that much, too short in my opinion

It had potential but was cut short. 4/8

Bo dissaproves, feel the shame wash over you

The writing wasn't too bad and I was looking forward to seeing what I could do. When I made a "bad" choice I was gently steered onto the "good" path for the most part. But then I reached the end, in perhaps 3-4 choices, which doesn't make a lot of sense. What I would do is take the story down, edit it/extend it, and re-release it. Make it a complete story for both paths. It's too short otherwise. Looking forward to it.

i agree what JJJ said

Compared to other releases this is just absolutely incredible. On an actual scale, it's about a 3. You had an under-developed backstory which is better than none at all and you managed to have a somewhat decent structure to your pages, as well as actually using description. So it wasn't terrible, but it just wasn't good either. I never "got into it", but you do show potential. Also, this isn't long enough to be cut off. You're planning a sequel but it should have just been a continuation of this storygame. Sequels should really only attach themselves to a 7 length storygame or a REALLY good 6 length storygame. That's in the vicinity of two hundred good pages. This wasn't that.

much too short to give an experience