Player Comments on In the Pale Moonlight
This was a great game. I started reading before the contest results were announced and wasn’t surprised to hear it got 1st. Congrats. From the violent killings to the “calm before the storm” Lodge preparations, it was very impressive how you set the tone.
Let’s start with the things I enjoyed the most: The main character and his badassery, the lore, and the werewolf primal urges.
The Main Character: Good ol’ Willy. Like the description states, you have completed 12 hunts and the game takes place on the 13th. There is an interesting background page regarding William’s childhood and father – I recommend finding it (I don’t think you’re forced into it). Rather than a generic Van Helsing knock-off, which would have been an easy pit to fall into, the MC has his own story and is shaped by his own unique past.
The Main Character’s Badassery: Ok, I decided this gets a section of its own. You’re armed with a shotgun and a revolver. Pure badass. Depending on the choices you make, you become blessed by a prominent Nordic figure and make the Alpha Wolf your Alpha Bitch. Oh, and did I mention he smokes weed?
The Lore: The game shows us an unseen war that has been going on for centuries that has elements from Catholicism and Norse Mythology. An ancient order that protects weak humans from terrifying beasts could easily turn cliché, and I think Steve did tremendously well keeping the reader from having an “I’ve been here before” feeling.
The Primal Urges: HUNT! KILL! EAT! Need I say more?
There wasn’t anything that jumped out as something the story desperately lacked or needed to change. I didn’t mind The Fool’s riddles; I thought it was a fun twist and a nice break to the dark, gloomy setting. There were a couple places where a title or sentence was mistyped, but that’s easily corrected and didn’t affect my rating at all. I read through two endings and was deeply entertained the whole time.
on 11/15/2018 1:01:38 PM with a score of 0
A Hunter! The true hope for humanity, a fiery beacon in the darkness, but sometimes you must work In Service to the Night!
Any ways, this story was a lot better than I thought it would be, for a 63k story written in a month. The beginning just set up the whole feel of the story quite well. The background and purpose of the hunters was interesting to read, as well as how they operate.
The characters were pretty developed and cool. Even though they didn't have the longest life span in the story, the each had their own distinct personality from the start. Mr. Gaange was pretty mysterious, I spent some time wondering when he would come up again.
The main thing I noticed that I didn't like was that it seemed whenever you were to FEED! it led immediately to an end game link (The Call of the Moon). It seems a good amount of the endings seemed to come up abruptly, but once again, contest entry on a time crunch so meh.
Although I'll assume there was probably a whole branch dedicated to helping the werewolves anyway. Works for me as I wasn't planning on joining those furry bastards.
Another thing, I really liked the action scenes as well, they seemed to capture the brutal and animalistic nature of fighting vampires and other such beasts of the night to the death.
Any ways, good job as always Steve.
on 11/4/2018 11:23:01 AM with a score of 0
A very gripping read. It's jam-packed with action right from the start. Rarely does the story start to drag, even as most of it is well fleshed-out.
It doesn't have that X factor which would make it an unforgettable read, but it's a solid popcorn work. Accept my payment of 6/8. Cheers.
on 4/14/2019 12:42:22 AM with a score of 0
It was very good. I liked the story line but you should of had a choice if you wanted to be a wolf or not but it’s good eather way
on 1/2/2019 2:40:29 PM with a score of 0
I got a lot of ‘modern day Geralt of Rivia’ and ‘witcher’ vibes from this one. Creative idea and excellent execution. Do make a sequel!
on 12/18/2018 1:24:06 PM with a score of 0
An amazing read with errors few and far between. Truly worth the time to take and interact with this short story.
on 11/30/2018 7:12:20 PM with a score of 0
this game is amazing very compelling story
note- there should be more paths like it should be possible to beat the game while staying human
on 11/21/2018 11:47:22 PM with a score of 0
I got the ending “Lucky Thirteen”. My only problem is with this pathline is the epilogue. It says that immediately after I get back to the Lodge, they began preparing for an attack even though nothing about my encounter with the werewolves suggested that they would counterattack or had the numbers to attack civilized places as the epilogue describes.
on 11/17/2018 3:57:49 AM with a score of 0
Engaging story, well-written, some paragraphs are chopped off but not a big deal. Characters have distinct, interesting personalities and back story.
I wished some of the options have more impact on the story, like deciding whether to kill a monster, and answering the fool's riddles.
Also, there are still many questions left unanswered, like what is the background of Mr. Gaanges, what do the witches do.
It will be fantastic if this story can be further developed.
on 11/14/2018 1:50:34 AM with a score of 0
This one may just be better than most of EndMaster's works.
-- Nazhfa on 11/12/2018 6:30:50 AM with a score of 0
This is a fun ride. You packed a lot of supernatural into a short night.
on 11/3/2018 12:25:18 PM with a score of 0