ninjapitka, The Apprentice Scrivener

Member Since

6/11/2018

Last Activity

1/18/2020 9:29 PM

EXP Points

1,508

Post Count

410

Storygame Count

4

Duel Stats

10 wins / 10 losses

Order

Notorious Marauder

Commendations

188
"Solitude had soon become unendurable to him; a new, violent impulse enveloped his heart, and for a moment the gloom in which his soul languished was illumined by bright light." I found myself lost in the CYS epics, and even though I'm more of a reader than a writer, I wanted to create my own. If you get the sudden urge to write without wanting the burden of completing an entire game, I suggest you check out Rift Station: Open Worlds.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Having 2 Storygame(s) Featured

Storygames

Pitka's Fables

Hello. It's me, Pitka ("Ninja" to my friends), your morality guide. Together, we will embark on a journey filled with lessons on life and ethical behavior, while having fun along the way, of course!

I've written a series of short fables for your benefit. Come, take my hand as we navigate through life's innermost difficulties.

Author's note:

Entry for Bucky's Year's End Contest.

The King's Command

The Providence of Kria consists of two major nations: The Kingdom of Brelia and the tribal territory of Rath. The ten-year peace between Brelia and Rath is quickly unraveling. In attempt to prevent another war, heir to the throne of Brelia, Prince Urijah, is sent on a diplomatic mission to appeal to the Rathans. In your older brother's absence, the burden of defending the kingdom falls to you. Your choices will determine the fate of the kingdom.

Runner-up for Corgi's Unofficial Contest: The Lords of the Land.



9/1/19 Update: Corrected a few punctuation errors

Featured Story The Sanguine and Blackbeard's Cutlass
Taking place during the Golden Age of Piracy, assume command of The Sanguine as you plunder and search for treasure in the profitable Caribbean. In this swashbuckling fantasy, you embark on a dangerous quest to an ancient Aztec civilization. Peril lies behind every tree, stone, and indigenous spear.

Author's note:

The story adds fantasy elements to events occurring in the 1700s. There are many real life characters and places in the story. Many are factually accurate, and many are not. I highly encourage you to research the people, places, and deities after reading.

Entry for Gower's Battle in the Ruins of a Dead Civilization contest.

Featured Story Twin Arrows

1852 - The Territory of New Mexico

The hunt has taken me to to the outer edges of civilization. Out here, lawlessness abides. There are no godly folk. Only heathen. The inner demon in me can relate to the call of anarchy. No rules, being bound by nothing; it sounds like freedom. In the end, that "freedom" is simply the self-indulgent, care-free living that is a poison upon humanity. If killing a man will save society from the infection of lawlessness, then I will gladly do what is necessary.

You eye the journal at your lap. The freshly written ink expands and bleeds to the perfect width of the quill. Satisfied that it won't smear, you shut the book and toss it aside. The meager fire at your feet does little to warm your body, but its original use was already completed. The frail, thin-boned squirrel did little to satisfy your hunger. Still, it would keep you alive until the next meal. You pull the leather waterskin from your pack to gauge how much longer it would last. With a gentle shake, you estimate it'll last a couple more days with strict rationing.

The road is lonely. In a former life, you dreamed about wandering the world without any responsibility or burdens. The reality of the road's harsh living conditions were nothing like the trigger-happy romanticized versions of the lawless west. Here there are no home-cooked meals, no warm body to lie next to yours. It's only you and the necessary task. Someone had to die.

You gaze up at the night sky. It seemed foreign at first. Without city lights to disorient the constellations, it looked like an entirely new sky. If you traveled at a good pace, you'd reach Canyon Diablo by midday. You pull the bone-carved pipe from your pack and light a match against the sole of your foot. You lie down on your bedroll, breathe in the relaxing tobacco, and drift off to sleep...

Author's Note:

The Wild West is a dangerous place. Be sure to make good use of that "back" button. I've hidden three achievements throughout the story. Yes, your total score will show if you've discovered them or not. The highest score possible is an 8/8.


Point Breakdown:
Achievements: 1 point each
Epilogue: 5 points

Entry for mizal's Lone Hero contest.

8/28/19 Update: Fixed the symbols appearing in the description

Recent Posts

2019: Objective Weighing of Value thread on 1/15/2020 12:22:21 AM
All my work this year was fueled by mad jealousy for not making the cut in 2018. I mean, I had like nine commendations at the time, come on. Did my four 50 word stories mean nothing to you? I suppose I can take down the red-haired elf dart board off my wall now. Also, the list this year is gigantic compared to last. Looking forward to the stories you all put out.

What are we reading now? on 1/14/2020 11:37:16 PM
Just noticed the last thread in here was over a month ago. The class got defunded for lack of students enrolling. Would you recommend any of the books you mentioned? I'm currently halfway through Doctor Sleep by Steven King. It's entertaining to read just before falling asleep. The chapter breaks are short, sometimes a single page, so it never feels like a chore to get to a good stopping point. This is only my third Steven King novel, and I'm a big fan of his characterization. He's also kind of a weird writer. There's tons of creatively-spelled words and the descriptions are downright odd at times. The current read isn't anything special, but it's engaging and suspenseful enough to keep me going.

IWT 13: The Resurrection on 1/11/2020 11:39:29 PM
Ninjapitka is Theo on CYS and Mizal on IS. Don't tell anyone though.

2020 Resolutions on 1/6/2020 1:21:50 PM
Your deadlift should be more than your squat since the concentric motion is the same, along with the fact you don't need to physically carry the weight.

Interesting comments 4 on 1/3/2020 6:26:36 PM
If I didn't read her name, I'd assume she wants the load on her chest.

Risk My Attention (CYStia: Land of Freedom) on 12/31/2019 6:13:48 PM
Both are for The Gauntlet. 1. Recommending a comment for featuring. There’s tons of room in the writing to include better descriptors. I do enjoy the premise though. It’s simple, but has a rich backstory. The backstory itself is not too long or detailed, but you get the “Spark Notes” version. The history of the main character is set, so you have an idea of who you’re playing as and why you are in the dungeon. The Gauntlet is a fitting name as you’re running through a dungeon which is exactly that. Some things that stuck out to me: -The word “enormous” is repeated in the first few sentences. “Country” is repeated like 5 sentences in a row on the first page as well. -The writing seems abbreviated and shallow. It doesn’t go much deeper besides “You go here” and “You do this”. -It gives off sort of a Dark Souls vibe. The suspense of running through a dungeon without knowing what’s waiting for you is a thrill. It’s a very base-level storygame. It was posted in 2005 and I bet the author could recreate a better game now (2019). That being said, a published game is a published game and I would have liked to seen more depth, branching, and development. I’ve definitely seen a lot worse games be published, but this one had the potential to be something greater. The majority of it is randomly selecting an action and getting lucky if that was the correct link. Reaching the end didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment. On the positive side, I didn’t feel like it was a waste of time. -- ninjapitka on 5/3/2019 1:15:47 PM with a score of 0 2. Recommending a comment for deletion since it's basically posted twice. Hell, while I'm at it, I'll recommend it be featured instead of Thara's because addresses the game more. A."The Gauntlet" is an interesting and entertaining bit of writing, but it had some rather major issues. The biggest problem was this one page where the reader is required to choose based off a past choice. Te link descriptions say not to choose the wrong one. Now this is something that annoys me a lot. It's just so lazy. If the author used a variable or even just copied and pasted some stuff, it would have been so much better. The writing was generally decent though, although it could have used a proofreading, and the action scenes were fun. I don't normally like a lot of short, one-link pages, but in this case they were often humorous and used to build suspense. Still, that unnecessary and lazy noobishness put a bad taste in my mouth. -- Cricket on 12/26/2019 11:55:00 AM with a score of 0 B."The Gauntlet" is an interesting and entertaining bit of writing, but it had some rather major issues. The biggest problem was this one page where the reader is required to choose based off a past choice. Te link descriptions say not to choose the wrong one. Now this is something that annoys me a lot. It's just so lazy. If the author used a variable or even just copied and pasted some stuff, it would have been so much better. The writing was generally decent though, although it could have used a proofreading, and the action scenes were fun. I don't normally like a lot of short, one-link pages, but in this case they were often humorous and used to build suspense. Still, that unnecessary and lazy noobishness put a bad taste in my mouth. EDIT: Additionally, there is a dead end page with no link. Yes, that is a big problem. To be featured instead of Wow, this was pretty engaging, and this had the right amount of choices for this storygame to be quite enjoyable. This really reminded of a classic dungeon game, in which the player is quite vulnerable as they attempt their best to brave the dangers of a difficult situation of the sort that was presented in this very storygame :) I felt quite a sense of accomplishment when I finally escaped at the end of this. I must say that this was a keenly written adventure and it has definitely earned my praise. Very impressive, indeed. -- TharaApples on 11/17/2016 2:11:09 AM with a score of 0

Book Idea. on 12/31/2019 1:59:41 PM
Interesting premise. I don't usually comment on grammar for these things, but I feel the need to this time because it distracted me from the story. If I were you, I'd revisit the sentence structure. Take this section for example: I pressed my hands into the stone floor to try to push myself up, and get my feet under me, I felt wobbly, and it was odd to try to stand without feeling anything, I could feel that energy in my legs, but it wasn’t nerves, it was like an essence, keeping my joints together. I took a few steps, almost stumbling to the ground, I looked around the musty room, It had old chiseled stone floors and walls, and a heavy wooden door in the corner. It should be something like this: I pressed my hands into the stone floor to try to push myself up and get my feet under me. I felt wobbly, and it was odd to try to stand without feeling anything. I could feel that energy in my legs, but it wasn’t nerves; it was like an essence keeping my joints together. I took a few steps, almost stumbling to the ground. I looked around the musty room. It had old chiseled stone floors and walls and a heavy wooden door in the corner. I think I understand the tone you're going for. It flows sort of like a storyteller would tell a story. There are details added seemingly everywhere. The writing itself is fine. The overuse of commas is just distracting. You might find this article helpful.

Risk My Attention (CYStia: Land of Freedom) on 12/30/2019 10:51:31 PM
Recommending a comment for featuring on The Gauntlet II. As I was decently entertained by the original Gauntlet, I decided to play G2. I left a long comment on Gauntlet I, so I was very interested to see if G2 kept the good parts and removed the bad. Let’s do this. My initial thoughts aren’t very positive towards the image on the first page. Not only is it formatted in a funky position, it looks too real to be included in the story. I would have preferred no images or a fantasy picture used; something that fits the story better. The pictures look like a stock photos from National Geographic. Not very engaging to the story. I will say that there was some level of nostalgia involved. The original Gauntlet starts off strong and full of danger. Once you’ve made it through, barely surviving, it’s a nice pace of things to start slow. It reintroduces me back into the world in an engaging way. Nice job. If I remember correctly, the first Gauntlet doesn’t use items. It’s more of an obstacle run through. G2 heavily uses items. Not all of them seem very useful, but it’s a sweet little thrill when you choose to look inside a nest and find a dagger. Not to mention, the world is a safer place with one less armed bird. Keeping with the same style as the original, G2 is like navigating through a maze with traps everywhere. Some of the death pages seem a bit random, although death isn’t really something that can be entirely rational. Shit happens, you know? Sometimes you turn a corner and death is there to greet you. What do you say to the god of death? Not today. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work in Gauntlet. By no means is this a memorable or life-changing storygame, but it’s entertaining for the time being. I had fun navigating through, even though it seems a bit absurd the main character would find themselves in similar situation as the original Gauntlet. I suppose the author is like Han Solo in that way: Never tell him the odds! -- ninjapitka on 5/16/2019 12:09:01 PM with a score of 0

Year's End Contest - Entry Discussion Thread on 12/29/2019 5:17:58 PM
Thanks for the review. And no, I'm not okay.

Year's End Contest - Choose Your Own Prompt II on 12/29/2019 1:27:33 PM
Done.